RE: The picture dilemma

RE: The picture dilemma (Full Version)

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NihilusZero -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/12/2009 7:49:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DavanKael May suggest a fabulous, aesthetically pleasing mask that goes well with the rest of your outfit? Davan [:D]

SimplyIsaac -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/12/2009 7:53:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero quote: ORIGINAL: SimplyIsaac Bossy, Shouldn't he be up front about it though if those religions are a deal breaker, rather than get into it later and waste time? No. He should either buckle and make pliable the traits he's seeking and not seeking or he should just plain lie so that he has a wider expanse of people he can bag. Because that method of advertising and courtship is so much more honest... And then later we have victims populating the message boards bemoaning all the "fakes" out there. Chicken / egg. This is a textbook example of the evil inherent in "not offending anyone".

tsatske -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/12/2009 7:57:39 PM)
I can not understand why being upfront about what you are seeking is a bad thing. It doesn't matter if it is a turnoff to you that he doesn't like your religion- you were not a match before you got that far. Isn't it better to be upfront? I have a full body nude pic on my profile. If you don't like bigger women, you are not in for a surprise - it's there before you write me. I am mentally ill. I don't put that on my profile, but I am not closeted or shy about talking about it here, and, more to the point, I have a stone hard limit of the first coffee date for the ABSOLUTE latest I will tell someone that. I don't have sex when I am unowned. This is a deal breaker for many. I have known people on here to put 'weight watchers' on thier hard limits list. I don't see the point of argueing that. There are lots of men on here who absolutely have no interest in talking to someone who identifies as a slave instead of as sub. I have tried a few conversations, becuase, 1) this could easily be more a difference in language use than actual lifestyle issues, and 2) sounds like it would be an interesting conversation to have. What I have learned is most of these men know that identifiying as a slave is a deal breaker for them, and, as such, not only have no interest in me, but take carte blanche to be rude. I don't get pissy about it. I just go ahead and terminate the conversation, accept that an interesting sounding conversation is not going to happen with them, and know, we weren't a match anyway. We weren't a match because, they don't like women who identify as subs, and I don't like Doms who chose to be rude. I really don't care how many things about me are a deal breaker for many. I am not trying to find many - I am trying to find one. There are gazzillions of them, and one right one. Anything that filters makes the job of finding that one, easier. filters are a good thing.

DavanKael -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/12/2009 8:01:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AnimusRex cock pic cock pic cock pic! Chicks dig it, trust me. < giggling > I know you're joking but I'm genuinely of mixed opinion on the cock shots. I would not wish to see that instead of a face pic but sometimes adjunctive information isn't bad to have, lol! I think it's a little peculiar to put right out there but each unto their own and I guess the folks doing that think it's one of their major selling points. < shrug > Nice, 'happy' penis pics: I'm not displeased to see. If I see a particularly appreciable one I'll offer a "nice cock" comment. Ummm, sub-par cock shots leave me wondering why the person thinks it's impressive. And, then there're the shots of cocks in cages about which I want to exclaim "free the penises". I did see an aesthetally interesting cage on one but I still wanted to free the poor penis. There's a guy local to me whose pic sometimes pops up when I log on...he's got a horrible tie on but it's loosened and slung across his chest (That's all he's wearing) and he's looking down at his penis as if he's surprised to see it. I find that one kind of puzzling and comical. Okay, I've probably devoted far more thought than was warranted to penis pics. :> Davan

lizi -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/12/2009 8:33:47 PM)
Having a picture increases your chances of getting profile views and therefore your chances of finding a sub. You say you're serious about looking for a sub so putting a picture out there in some form will help. There were some good suggestions in this thread about doing something that doesn't show your face. Look around at other profile pictures for more ideas or do a search in the search function on the bottom right of this page for other threads that have covered the subject of profile pictures that don't specifically show facial features. That being said I personally think that your profile was fine and that listing various items as hard limits (or specific wants/needs/desires) will only help in the long run to find a compatible partner. It doesn't turn me off at all to see things listed in the hard limits category, I'd rather have the honesty up front. I get tired of spending time in initial searches only to find out that the other person I am considering has a preference or a dislike for something that will not mesh with me. Good luck [:)]

CNJDom -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/12/2009 8:56:23 PM)
The element of a picture or not is one thing, but seeing that there is a problem with profile preferences of likes and dislikes...I have found that on previous sites as well as this one, that you don't have to answer every single thing on the list, unless you feel strongly about it. If it is not a big deal, then don't list it. If it IS a deal-breaker of an issue then perhaps you should express it as a limit. I know I have a lot of things on my profile list, but I used to have more. Sometimes less is better. Pertinent is better still. All those music preferences. Same for a lot of things, just stick to what you are making as a fine point that defines who or shows what kind of person you are. I'm not a great profile maker, and I know some who are. But you have to be you in that profile. You just don't have to fill it out more than you want or could. You don't need to have a picture up-front all the time, and there are ways to have a picture that doesn't get you into social trouble. If it bothers you to have a public picture online, then offer it off-line when you feel comfortable. Good luck.

porcelaine -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/12/2009 9:13:31 PM)
i'm of the mindset that laundry lists of no's are generally composed of things that are not deal breakers. the only way to determine this is to make a concerted effort to list them and to be frank. limiting yourself to ten must have's forces you to zero in on what's most important. i used a system i gleaned from a book and would be willing to share it with the op if you want to cmail me. i found it to be a very helpful exercise. oftentimes what we believe is a definite no might be a maybe, but without a little prodding you could be dismissing potential partners unintentionally. as far as religion goes, if it is a valuable part of your life and something you wish to share with a partner and aren't willing to embrace all faiths, this should be mentioned. i once believed this was a deal breaker for me, but discovered it really isn't. my belief system has changed and for the most part i'm very tolerant in this vain. in the end you must choose the flaw you can live with and if this isn't one don't apologize for your preferences. we all have them. porcelaine

Acer49 -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/17/2009 9:32:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: noone75 I'm having a bit of a dilemma with whether or not to post a pic of myself on my profile. I'm a professional, with a pretty public career, and can't afford to have the lifestyle labeled pegged on me. At the same time I am serious about looking for a sub on here. Any suggestions or experiences to share on this? Simply say that you will provide a picture if requested or you could, I suppose post a picture on say facebook, flickr and if you are comfortable with someone, direct them there

sunshinemiss -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 3:46:34 AM)
quote: watching Greek porn while wearing lobster bibs Dear NZ - Are you saying there are people who don't like this? whoa.... sunshine *and to the OP: You know, I've been pretty up front that someone in my family here actually used my pic on here to try to hurt me. That's why I no longer have a pic up (although the damage was done, but not in the way she thinks). Anyway, it only takes one whack job to ruin your career. Stick to your guns, and decide if you trust someone before you send a pic. There are a couple of pix I've seen where the sun is behind the person, and all you can see is the outline. These can be stunning! There's a guy on a horse, cowboy hat on his head. I don't know anything else about him, but he sure sparks fantasies! Good luck in your search, sunshine

VampiresLair -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 4:17:39 AM)
Be creative. I you wear hats, tip one like you are greeting someone for the photo. Cover just your eyes, show the rest of your face. Cut off just above the nose and show your body rather than your face, FAR harder to identify as you unless you wear your bowling league shirt or something. Take a pic from the back looking slightly over your shoulder so your face is barely turned. Read a book, and hold it up so ALL you can see is your eyes and the cover of the book, and be creative with the literature choice (I have seen one where the Dom was reading the Story of O) DV

LaTigresse -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 5:52:08 AM)
I don't know about the idea of being against posting dislike of a religioun. Anyone that would put "lives for" catholicism, would immediately be disregarded by me.[:D]

Lucienne -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 6:57:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Anyone that would put "lives for" catholicism, would immediately be disregarded by me.[:D] I'm sure Opus Dei has their own exclusive forum where they exchange tips on flogging.

SquareOne -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 8:52:10 AM)
I'm in the same boat on this one to a degree. For now, whilst i'm not really fussed over meeting someone, I figure that I'll leave things as they are. Maybe later if I get bored or lonely I may show off some biceps or something rather than any facepic, that will just never be able to happen. And to the poster who made the "Free the penises!" comment - thanks, you made me spit my coffee out laughing ;)

SL4V3M4YB3 -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 9:07:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: noone75 I'm having a bit of a dilemma with whether or not to post a pic of myself on my profile. I'm a professional, with a pretty public career, and can't afford to have the lifestyle labeled pegged on me. At the same time I am serious about looking for a sub on here. Any suggestions or experiences to share on this? From what I often hear here women don't care about physical appearance as much as men do and perhaps value other elements of a person such as personality more there before me appears this river of vomit. Therefore in your position the status quo of offering pictures upon request would seem the only realistic option. You should probably write more and keep a journal thus giving any prospective stalkers an insight into your life. I've never bothered to do this because I'm lazy and my life is rather boring but I'm fairly certain and often hear that those that write regularly about themselves and their experiences can build up in the viewers mind a far more superior picture of who you are than just simply that of what you look like.

antipode -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 9:38:31 AM)
quote: Any suggestions or experiences to share on this? Just look around the profiles, there are some really creative solutions to your conundrum. I used to have the same concern, and used something marginally unrecognizable, when I still needed to be concerned. Look at profiles, see what you may or may not be comfortable with. Looking at examples is far superior, in this case, than talkin' 'bout it.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 10:02:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: noone75 I'm having a bit of a dilemma with whether or not to post a pic of myself on my profile. I'm a professional, with a pretty public career, and can't afford to have the lifestyle labeled pegged on me. At the same time I am serious about looking for a sub on here. Any suggestions or experiences to share on this? Maybe You could use a pleasing mask over part of Your face, do a silouhette (sp), or I'm not sure. But some people have mentioned Your lists of hates. I don't put dislikes/hates/hard limits on my profile and mention in the essay portion to the right that, unless we're talking about a relationship, they don't need to be "out there." That when the situation comes up, the information comes out. That way, You'd start out on a more positive note.

GotSteel -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 11:07:56 AM)
You could always have the pic taken from far away or use one where your face is in shadow. As for whether or not to mention your religion, ok cupid has some statistics saying that it's a good idea to do so and that being an atheist will get you the most mail. Of course checking "tolerates Christianity" instead of "has a hard-on for Jesus" is going to make some people freak out but you probably don't want to meet those people anyway and it makes the people you are compatible with more likely to reply to your emails, so really it's a win-win situation.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 11:15:38 AM)
State in our profile exactly what you state here, and then say if they need a picture they may request for one privately and if you wish to you'll attach it to your reply email. quote: ORIGINAL: noone75 I'm having a bit of a dilemma with whether or not to post a pic of myself on my profile. I'm a professional, with a pretty public career, and can't afford to have the lifestyle labeled pegged on me. At the same time I am serious about looking for a sub on here. Any suggestions or experiences to share on this?

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 11:34:07 AM)
You just never know. [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: AnimusRex As for me, I trust that no one I work with will want to admit they were here either.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: The picture dilemma (10/18/2009 11:58:29 AM)
I actually prefer they have their dislikes and hates out in plain site, that way I don't even give them a second glance, if their hates and dislikes or even their likes are so drastically different than mine. Sure you could always wait till you're in a conversation with someone, and then find out, but I prefer not to wait till we're conversating to find out there's something I can't tolerate about them. quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 Maybe You could use a pleasing mask over part of Your face, do a silouhette (sp), or I'm not sure. But some people have mentioned Your lists of hates. I don't put dislikes/hates/hard limits on my profile and mention in the essay portion to the right that, unless we're talking about a relationship, they don't need to be "out there." That when the situation comes up, the information comes out. That way, You'd start out on a more positive note.

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