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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 7:27:29 AM   
yourdarkdesire


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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 7:29:44 AM   
pahunkboy


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Status: offline 		I am going to bend santa over my knee and give him a REALLY hard spanking!

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 7:38:11 AM   
Aylee


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I am with the OP in that Christmas is over two months away and it is much to soon to be making those threats.  I think that it would be better to hold off on those until at least you have the Christmas music playing in the house (around here, the day after Thanksgiving is the first day that it is allowed.) 

A couple of things to keep in mind are, Santa makes a list of who has been naughty and nice, not a list of everything that we have ever done wrong with none of the good stuff on it.  Does Jim call Santa when the LO has done something that you are VERY proud of?  Although very protestant, the amount of gifts that Santa brings does NOT equal just how wonderful that you have been. 

In our house we were told that we would get an onion in our stocking not coal.  And the threat was, "Santa Claus is watching!" 

Some of the Christmas cartoon specials may help clear up some questions about Santa.  I am not really aware of the more modern ones, I am thinking of the ones when I was growing up (and we ARE about the same age.)  They have some pretty good messages.  BTW, while it is amusing, please stick with the cartoon Grinch and not the live action. 

Do *I* believe is Santa?  Hell Yes!  I met him several times as a child.  As we grew older we all told stories about the Santa's that we met in our lives.  The strangers that did little things at Christmas time for you*.  And now *I* GET to be Santa (well, Mrs Claus ~ who had just as much power as Santa in my house!) 

There is no reason not to start making LO a Santa's helper (well, other than it is too far away from Christmas, but give it a several weeks.) 

Mostly it boils down to what Christmas means to YOU and what you want it to mean in your family and to the LO.  For my family Christmas means more than just exchanging gifts.  Now, for children you are not going to be able to get too abstract, but you can sure lead the way and demonstrate with your actions. 

To sum up, Yes I believe in Santa.  Yes I will teach Butterhead about Santa.  And for all the scoffers that say Santa does not exist, well, you have lost something very wonderful in your lives. 



*My mother tells the story of how one year when she was doing some shopping, she did nt have quite enough to cover her purchases, and so she told the clerk that she would the batteries back.  An older lady told her, "No you don't, those are for your children," and gave her the few extra dollars.  This woman will ALWAYS be Mrs Claus to my mother. 

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 7:41:25 AM   
HatesParisHilton


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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 8:21:00 AM   
Aylee


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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 8:26:47 AM   
pahunkboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 11:29:20 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


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Status: offline 		Reminds me of one of my favorite quirky movies, "Crimes Of The Heart." Tess Harper plays a total snot, who at one point warns her kids, "I'm gonna call Santa Claus and tell him to come down the chimney and snatch you all bald-headed!"One of the most original adaptations of the Santa Claus mythos I've ever heard.


< Message edited by ThatDamnedPanda -- 10/13/2009 11:39:05 AM >

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 11:43:45 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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Status: offline 		Listen, I was Santa's helper when he came in July to help out my mom with an event.  (Because my mom is all-powerful, so you just WATCH OUT!)  I am of the opinion that Santa is a a pretty mellow guy and as long as you are not EVIL, it's all okay. 

On other fronts, no, I would never use the Santa Threat, regardless of age.  The very notion of a big brother type that is out to get you?  Alarming, and not true. 

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 11:51:53 AM   
Dnomyar


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Status: offline 		Come off of it. Everyone knows that Santa is a pimp. How many times have you heard him say Ho Ho Ho.

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 12:04:28 PM   
DavanKael


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Status: offline 		I tend to evade Santa references when my godkids make them and the kids that I helped co-parent for a year and a half are Jewish, so Santa was not a factor. 
Threatening with Santa seems a bad idea to me because it's an external control that is even more removed from the discipline of one present.  I am a big fan of internal locus of control as it's more of a permanent and likely to be heeded motivation. 
As for 3 year olds being excessively mouthy (Or ones older than that, for that matter), I am a big fan of sending ones behaving in such a way to their rooms sans abilty to play with anything and telling them that they may rejoin us when they have re-collected themselves.  Removing the attention for the behavior, in my experience, helps. 
  Davan

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 12:11:37 PM   
sirsholly


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quote:

Does Jim call Santa when the LO has done something that you are VERY proud of? Although very protestant, the amount of gifts that Santa brings does NOT equal just how wonderful that you have been.
no...but Mommy is about to start doing so. What a great suggestion!!!!

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 12:33:57 PM   
porcelaine


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Status: offline 		santa was not a part of my household, although i grew up with the concept. it felt strangely odd to pretend some chubby guy was providing all that i'd given. what i elected to do was illustrate the importance of gratitude instead and how each gift had merit, whether it was big or small, affordable or expensive.

what happened as a result is her non attachment to such things. she appreciates them in the spirit they're given and is just as pleased if you provided something extravagant or simplistic. we do not wish for things and they magically appear. something or someone must provide actions to allow them into being. whether that involves us, parents, relatives, or a friend isn't important. what is important is that children recognize that nothing happens by chance.

gifts were never based upon acts of good will. i address infractions when they occur, not under the christmas tree. the child should be encouraged to behave for practical purposes, not in expectation of gifts or the threat of losing such either. best of luck to you on this.

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 3:39:23 PM   
Aylee


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

Does Jim call Santa when the LO has done something that you are VERY proud of? Although very protestant, the amount of gifts that Santa brings does NOT equal just how wonderful that you have been.
no...but Mommy is about to start doing so. What a great suggestion!!!!


I have them occassionally.

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 4:45:41 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

I am going to bend santa over my knee and give him a REALLY hard spanking!


Hunky I would pay to see that....


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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 5:00:03 PM   
soul2share


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Status: offline 		I also was one that never really played the Santa card.  Christmas is more about getting together with family than the whole present thing.  And using it as a disciplinary tool also is frowned upon in our family.  I think that using "santa" to get a child to behave is a cop out.  How do you make the child behave the rest of the year?  And using it every time the child does misbehave is going to lose it's effectiveness after a while.

Yes, my son believed in Santa for awhile.....I certainly didn't tell him there was no Santa, as that is actually part of the magic of Christmas.  However, for the longest time, he wouldn't go see Santa....the beard and moustache scared him as a child....it was like that with any man with a beard....even his own dad.  I'm not exactly sure when he stopped believing, but I do know it was after his first younger brother was born, and he was threatened with a beating if he ever once told his brother that there was no such thing as Santa.....he never did, and there was 5 years between him, and another 3 between him and his youngest brother.  I actually heard him play the Santa card once to his younger brother.....my ex used that tactic a lot, so it's like monkey see - monkey do!

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 5:41:47 PM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Has anyone used the Santa threat and had it backfire? Has it worked well for you? Do you encourage/discourage the belief in Santa?


The one time I used it, my then-girlfriend just kinda looked at me funny.

Anywho...

Steven hit the nail on the head, with his "outsourcing parental discipline" comment. There are lots of angles to look at, in this whole subject, but long term, that's the one you want to focus on, maybe.

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RE: Santa as a threat..... - 10/13/2009 5:48:44 PM   
windchymes


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Status: offline 		I never discouraged the belief in Santa Claus.  When my boys questioned it, I just shrugged and said, well, if you DON'T want to believe in him, it's okay.....and they usually decided it was better to believe, just in case....lol.  When they asked questions like how will Santa find us since we don't live at Dad's anymore, I just said, oh, he knows where you are.  How will he get in the house if we don't have a chimney?  Back door, duh.  Just like we do. 

One of my sweetest memories is the year they were in kindergarten and first grade, hearing them sneak down the stairs early Christmas morning, to check the living room, and hearing the younger one squeal, "It's trew! It's trew! He really DID come!" 

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