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RE: Labelling ? - 10/14/2009 5:56:04 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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Umm, that was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, as there are so many varieties of switches - ones who want to switch within the same scene, ones who can't switch with the same person, masochistic dominants, sadistic submissives, people who can be Dominant and submissive toward the same person, etc. I *am* a switch, and just had a scene this past weekend in which I submitted to my Master and topped my playpartner simultaneously. This evening, the three of us are being mentored in a playpiercing scene, and I'm planning to both give and receive.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

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Post #: 21

RE: Labelling ? - 10/14/2009 6:41:06 PM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Is it not about time this website adopted a more easy going approach to labelling oneself ? I mean, dom, sub, switch, oh and slave, a bit limiting isnt it, what about the noobs that come here, just to get some info on that feeling we all felt but oft was not aware there were others like it. What about those of us that refuse to be defined, as rigid labels do not fit. Me for example, I am forced to label as switch on here, but I am not a switch, but it is the nearest to my interest, I suppose, so it will have to do. And what about those who just like an activity or two that is under the umbrella of BDSM, to be on here, they are forced to pick a label, which they are uncomfortable with, which may lead to others wasting their time under false impressions.

There is a thread going on somewhere down there, regarding Fetlife, comparing here and there, although the majority which includes myself prefer this website for various reasons, it has been noted Fetlife has some things better. For me, what is better about Fetlife, is the nomenclature regarding a person's interest, much more choice, and it includes states, where no hard and fast defining label can be affixed.

How about a label of, Just interested, it means a lot, and at the same time a little, many would be comfortable with that.

So what about it, is it time for Collarme.com to relax a little, much in the way it has relaxed with other areas ?

Well if you wish them to reprogram this website I suggest you produce and pay for a computer programer that will no doubt ask for, let us say 50k to do the job. You are under a major misconception. that your presense on this board has value to them. Unless you are clicking on the sponsors' links and gereating income, you are easily replaceable and your wants are simply going to be ignored. Let me remind you that you do not pay dime one to be here. I am not going to pay a monthly charge just so you can have your identifier. If it is such an issue, then list it, bold letters, in your profile as to what you like to viewed as

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to Aneirin)

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Post #: 22

RE: Labelling ? - 10/14/2009 8:21:41 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I kinda like labels because they are a good defining base for me. I am not interested in people who call themselves switches. I am not interested in those who call themselves females and the list goes on. Just saying "interested" isn't enough for me. I would rather not waste each other's time only to find out we're not compatible at all from the get go.

Now once we get the base down then we are able to get to know each other from there and then the label doesn't matter so much. Then it's up to the communication with one another to sort the rest out.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

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Post #: 23

RE: Labelling ? - 10/14/2009 8:37:20 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorEleven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Is it not about time this website adopted a more easy going approach to labelling oneself ?

There's no way to please everyone and someone will always complain that they're not accurately represented by the selections available, no matter how many there are.

XI

Wouldn't an 'other' tickbox with a fill in the blank option be an easy way to represent everyone?

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 10/14/2009 8:38:34 PM >

(in reply to ModeratorEleven)

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Post #: 24

RE: Labelling ? - 10/15/2009 8:14:09 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Personally I like and use labels for the4 simple reason I am the sort of chap who thinks in terms of files and files need labels to keep them in order. (Reasonably typical Virgonian way of seeing things to some degree I have discovered). I also use many sub-labels to assist in mentally classifying things and people. For example I hear from or meet or even read posts from someone and I will classify them as perhaps a "submissive" or "?submissive" and even add a sub-label "submissive - ?slave" to sale writing copious notes trying to analyse the person until I actually get to know them. I find using "switch" useful and saves a more lengthy description and I can always add foot notes clarifying if needs be. Just the way my mind works especially as I use many symbols as a shorthand for the labels because I'm also a graphic bloke and visualise things graphically rather then seeing written text in my mind (unless it is some ancient scroll or document which I am doing things with and this need to remember and see in my mind the actual written words.

In effect I would be dead set against doing away with the labelling system here although it could be added to or revamped for better clarification. The profile is where people can, if they are industrious enough, explain their path and where they are on it in some detail. In short, "If it aint broke, don't fix it!"

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Elisabella)

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Post #: 25

RE: Labelling ? - 10/15/2009 5:42:14 PM

Aneirin

Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Is it not about time this website adopted a more easy going approach to labelling oneself ? I mean, dom, sub, switch, oh and slave, a bit limiting isnt it, what about the noobs that come here, just to get some info on that feeling we all felt but oft was not aware there were others like it. What about those of us that refuse to be defined, as rigid labels do not fit. Me for example, I am forced to label as switch on here, but I am not a switch, but it is the nearest to my interest, I suppose, so it will have to do. And what about those who just like an activity or two that is under the umbrella of BDSM, to be on here, they are forced to pick a label, which they are uncomfortable with, which may lead to others wasting their time under false impressions.

There is a thread going on somewhere down there, regarding Fetlife, comparing here and there, although the majority which includes myself prefer this website for various reasons, it has been noted Fetlife has some things better. For me, what is better about Fetlife, is the nomenclature regarding a person's interest, much more choice, and it includes states, where no hard and fast defining label can be affixed.

How about a label of, Just interested, it means a lot, and at the same time a little, many would be comfortable with that.

So what about it, is it time for Collarme.com to relax a little, much in the way it has relaxed with other areas ?

Well if you wish them to reprogram this website I suggest you produce and pay for a computer programer that will no doubt ask for, let us say 50k to do the job. You are under a major misconception. that your presense on this board has value to them. Unless you are clicking on the sponsors' links and gereating income, you are easily replaceable and your wants are simply going to be ignored. Let me remind you that you do not pay dime one to be here. I am not going to pay a monthly charge just so you can have your identifier. If it is such an issue, then list it, bold letters, in your profile as to what you like to viewed as

Oh dear, what a stern reply, to what is nothing more than a suggestion. I was under the impression, that it was the users of a website, that make the website what it it is, as without the users, the website would be nothing. Now, I have been on this website a good long time, and I do care about this website, as it stands alone amongst many that have since popped up on the internet, it on the whole is the best website, but in order for anything to last long, it has to adapt to the changing needs, in this case, what users require of it, move with the wind and survive, stand firm and chances you will break. As to paying a dime, no, neither do many, but is their input worth any less. Is it wrong for users of a website to suggest possible enhancements to a website, to make it better, or are you one of those people that just accepts what is dictated to you.

_____________________________

Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

(in reply to Acer49)

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Post #: 26

RE: Labelling ? - 10/15/2009 7:41:15 PM

SimplyIsaac

Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorEleven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aneirin

Is it not about time this website adopted a more easy going approach to labelling oneself ?

There's no way to please everyone and someone will always complain that they're not accurately represented by the selections available, no matter how many there are.

XI

Wouldn't an 'other' tickbox with a fill in the blank option be an easy way to represent everyone?

Agreed.

(in reply to Elisabella)

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Post #: 27

RE: Labelling ? - 10/16/2009 7:58:03 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

From a programming perspective, adding "other" would probably be relatively easy, but adding a fill-in-the-blank box would be fairly messy/complicated. You'd have to specify "other," then do your explaining in the profile anyway, most likely.

(in reply to SimplyIsaac)

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Post #: 28