Padriag
Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
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I waited awhile to respond to this because I wanted to see how others responded first. My intention with the essay was to provoke some thought and discussion. Some of the reactions have been interesting.
Some seemed to have taken the post was meant to discourage anyone from seeking someone who lived far away. Not at all.
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ORIGINAL: slavejali
I'm taking Padriags post to simply mean, be realistic, why set yourself you for failure.
Absolutely correct, the essay is just about keeping things realistic. If neither you nor the person you just met can afford the cost of one of you moving, you've got a problem. Why set yourself up for disappointment needlessly?
quote:
ORIGINAL: MHOO314
IMHO where there is a will there is a way.
And considering I'm a stubborn, dominant, Irishman, I tend to agree... I'm about as willful as they come. But, there's still reality and there's no getting around that. Its like the law of gravity, you can avoid it for awhile but sooner or later what goes up must come down. I'm just suggesting people arrange to have a parachute when that happens, save themselves some pain.
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ORIGINAL: Arpig
If somebody could only respect somebody who was wealthy, then I don't want that person's respect...I don't care what the shiney happy plastic people think
Nobody said anything about being wealthy... but it seems I struck a nerve. You don't have to be even remotely wealthy to afford a $300 plane ticket. Nor do you have to be to afford $4000 in travel expenses, though it might hurt a bit. Some people would be willing to go into debt for it, others would not. Some might put it on their credit card, others might take out a loan from the bank and pay it off in 6 months, a year, two years, whatever it took. As MHOO said, where there is a will there is a way... but it helps a bit if you've done some thinking on what that "way" might be in advance. That's what I wanted to make people more aware of, the need to take into account those very real costs when dreaming those dreams. If you aren't willing to pay the cost or can't afford it, then maybe you ought to reach for a candy jar a little closer.
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ORIGINAL: Chaingang
Padriag:
(Good to have you back!)
I think your post assumes many things and overlooks some other more obvious obstacles, but your overall message is a good one. I'll start with the missed obstacles and work backward for hopefully obvious reasons.
Thank you, nice to be back but I'm afraid its only temporary, will be going out of town for about three weeks to a month soon... but I'll pop in when I can.
Yes, my post makes a lot of assumptions, but it was really just to illustrate a point. I also didn't try to make it an exhaustive examination of the real costs of moving someone from so far way. I conservatively allowed only $200 for an attorney but as was pointed out that could run as much as $1,000. You also raise many good points anyone considering such a move should keep in mind. But the main point was simply this, to get people thinking about these costs before they get lost in the thrill of that new relationship. I'm all for people finding love where ever they can, but its damn painful (and I speak from experience here folks) to wake up one morning and have to face the cold reality that you simply can't afford the dream you've had. Its both humiliating and painful to have to tell someone you love them but you can't afford the cost to make the relationship you've both been dreaming of a reality... and neither can they.
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ORIGINAL: angelic
Wwho said the Dominant was the One Wwho had to finance this whole trip? Isn't she somehow also part of this? Where is it written that it's up to the Dom/Master to be the financier here? Did i miss something?
I didn't say it, but I did imply it. Its been interesting seeing how folks responded to that. The fact is, no the dominant doesn't necessarily have to pay for this. They could split the bill, or the submissive could pay it as some suggested. Whatever works folks, long as you've talked about it and have figured out how to pay it... because eventually somebody is gonna have to pay the bill. If neither of you can do that, well... trust me, its damn sad day to face I tell ya.
But, yes, I did imply the dominant should pay. So I might as well take a side note here and explain that. My personal feeling is the dominant should bear the cost. Part of that stems from the fact that I'm a dominant seeking slaves to own, and as part of that I take responsibility for a number of things. If you were buying a slave, the owner would bear the cost of that, so I just extended the logic of that a bit. Its not for everyone, but its my way. That's part of what prompted this short essay, I've been in the position of not having the ability to put my money where my mouth is. I spent the last three years of my life working damn hard to change that and I'm happy to say I have. I'm not going to say exactly what I can afford, that isn't the point. The point is merely this... I considered whether or not I would include slaves from other countries in my search and decided I would. Since I consider it my responsibility to bear the cost, I took a look at what that might be and made appropriate preparations. My way isn't for everybody and that's fine, not saying it should be. But I am saying anyone considering a relationship with someone so far away should consider those costs and how they will deal with it... because eventually you will have to deal with it, and I'd hate to see you have to face the humilation I once did.
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ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion
yes but have you checked EVERY travel site, even the discount ones like orbitz or cheap tickets
The ticket prices I listed don't really matter since those things will change constantly. What will remain the same is that a ticket to Australia, Russia, Japan, etc. from the US is going to cost a lot more than one from the East coast to the West Coast and so on. But for what its worth I looked at the cheapest price for a round trip ticket for one adult for an overnight flight, Australia to the US on Orbitz, Travelocity, Priceline, and Hotwire and took the average which was $1,779... and I rounded off to $1,800 for the sake of a round number. All those tickets were on major carriers, I think Delta was the most common one (the trans pacific flight to San Fran from Perth was on a 757 IIRC, just incase any Aussies were wondering).
I'll share a little short story with you folks. Once upon a time there was a guy, a screwy, stubborn, dominant Irishman who had a lot of dreams... one of those was of a beautiful slave with long dark hair who's name was Sonja and she lived in New Zealand. They met on a chance encounter in a chatroom, talked, fell for each other and began a long distance relationship. It was beautiful thing, the kind of thing that inspires hallmark cards. He loved her and new he'd found a treasure, she adored him just as much. They wanted to be together. Then came the reality that he couldn't afford the airfare and couldn't borrow it. She struggled to save up and help, but in the end, they just couldn't make it work. It ended with a painful good-bye to a dream they had both shared. He's often wondered what became of her... he'll never know... and he'll have to live with that. The brass ring came and went, just a little out of his reach. He swore it would never be that way again, next time he'd own the damn brass ring. The end?
I hope each of you finds what you are looking for out there. I also hope that when you do, you have the ability to grab your brass ring and hold onto it tightly. I sincerely mean that.
_____________________________
Padriag
A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer
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RE: Can I borrow airfare? - 
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