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Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 6:58:37 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

I found the posting below on a local website that encompasses all kinds of alternative seeking. The original post included a big ole weenie pic.

swm looking for a woman to explore the world of s&m b/d.
new to scene and looking for same.
we can learn together.
sub, dom, switch I'm open to all
5'11" * 175 lbs *
pics available to trade.
Write and say hello

While I tend to find myself more than my share of newbies I just don't understand some boys. I know that wankers abound as I'm usually the one coming along with the rubber stamp. It just peeves me sometimes that so many believe that kinky sex = go find a sub. Do me kinky sex and they can't even bother to have the standards to be specific about what they're looking for. Sorry all, we return you to your regulary scheduled rant.

The point of my posting. Why is it that newbies...especially males too often seem to present themselves as a wanker and only those that are sincere after a few bumps and bashings bring out enough manners to attempt to present themselves in a positive light?
It seems to me that those that came forward and said hi I'm new and would be appreciative of any guidence and instruction that you could provide would be welcomed. So why is it that they seem to present themselves everything from "I'm interested" and no other explaination about themselves all the way to "I'm an expert slave that begs to obey. Teach me as you please" ? Why do they do this?

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 3/5/2006 6:59:45 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 7:13:17 PM

Isara

Posts: 87
Joined: 2/4/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

I found the posting below on a local website that encompasses all kinds of alternative seeking. The original post included a big ole weenie pic.

swm looking for a woman to explore the world of s&m b/d.
new to scene and looking for same.
we can learn together.
sub, dom, switch I'm open to all
5'11" * 175 lbs *
pics available to trade.
Write and say hello

While I tend to find myself more than my share of newbies I just don't understand some boys. I know that wankers abound as I'm usually the one coming along with the rubber stamp. It just peeves me sometimes that so many believe that kinky sex = go find a sub. Do me kinky sex and they can't even bother to have the standards to be specific about what they're looking for. Sorry all, we return you to your regulary scheduled rant.

The point of my posting. Why is it that newbies...especially males too often seem to present themselves as a wanker and only those that are sincere after a few bumps and bashings bring out enough manners to attempt to present themselves in a positive light?
It seems to me that those that came forward and said hi I'm new and would be appreciative of any guidence and instruction that you could provide would be welcomed. So why is it that they seem to present themselves everything from "I'm interested" and no other explaination about themselves all the way to "I'm an expert slave that begs to obey. Teach me as you please" ? Why do they do this?

We're also very synical in many cases mind you, I guess it's just an evil cycle that keeps perpetuating, we see wankers, so we are blunt/cautious of new boys who may or may not be genuine. Also, they are just that "new" so they don't understand how people generally want things done.

Regards.

Isara.

_____________________________

"I can't -- not just like that. I'm a complicated person, you see, Aunty... Sometimes I'm nice, and sometimes I'm nasty -- hee hee!...and sometimes I just like to sing little songs, like: "See the little goblin, see his little-- " Edmond Blackadder

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 2

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 7:26:24 PM

ShadeDiva

Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

Perhaps for them - at that point in time - BDSM and sex is one and the same to them. For others they are just looking for kinky sex and do not know or care enough to differentiate between seeking kinky sex and seeking BDSM with or without sex being involved.

For some folks that is the only way it can be, and that's all they really want.

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 3

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 7:28:49 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

fastlane! We told you to stop that!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 4

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 7:34:32 PM

MsSonnetMarwood

Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline

I generally consider those who approach this way to be looking for nothing more than online wanking material.

If they WERE looking to meet face to face, surely they'd behave slightly better. Well, maybe.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 5

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 7:39:41 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

fastlane! We told you to stop that!

Even though Kev claims to be "gifted" I don't think even he can stretch it to Colorado

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 6

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 7:59:03 PM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Because they are human beings who are trying to fulfill a want need of their own...that is why they are seeking. They are not psychic, they do not know what it is you want to see in a newbie post, they are often not entirely sure what it is they want, they probably don't care what you want unless it matchs what they want
in other words, they are just like the rest of us

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 7

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 8:38:09 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

fastlane! We told you to stop that!

Even though Kev claims to be "gifted" I don't think even he can stretch it to Colorado

LMAO, priceless!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 8

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 8:53:17 PM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

Why do they do this?

It's the nature of the internet.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 9

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/5/2006 11:50:08 PM

MsPurrmeow

Posts: 261
Joined: 10/30/2004
Status: offline

It's not about respect. It' s not about not having standards. It's simply about not having any other place to start. You said this is on a general "alternatives seeking" site, which means that this person probably has no idea that there's a whole other world out there (here) with a bit of protocol, respect, manners, etc. We all started from zero, or darn close. Most of these guys are starting right there. All they know is that a certain thought makes their dick hard. It's somewhere, even if it's not a good healthy first step.

Some of these guys will actually run into someone with experience who is willing to give them a heads up, others will get laid... or not. Every person has to find their own way. Some don't even know which direction they are going in, it's all just connected to the one thing they know, and that's the fact that it gets them excited. It's pretty natural for a man to connect that to sex. I suspect that they keep it open to all variations just so that they don't ever have to find themselves in an uncomfy position with their pants down.

If this person wrote any other real information or seemed worthy of a discussion, I might send him some book titles or links. Otherwise, I'd ignore him and leave him for some other kinkster with more energy. Thing is... if he connects with a woman who is just as curious, gender tendency would mean that she's probably read a bit somewhere and might have a clue or two. After that encounter or conversation, he'll at least be one more step in the right direction. It's all about baby steps. We're all very lucky to be where we are right now, but I try to never forget that I started at zero, without even knowing who to ask for several years.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 10

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/6/2006 2:13:07 AM

MarinaBlack

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline

Face it.
They do it because they are stupid.

The word "exceptional" exists in our vocabulary for a reason - because men who are truely good, submissve, polite, useful, generous, grounded, mindful, intuitive, intelligent, sweet, kind, healthy and presentable are the exceptions.

The reason we muddle through all the crap is because we know they're out there and the odds are that after we've waded through enough crap, the gems will mkae it through.

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 11

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/6/2006 6:12:12 PM

LoneGoddess

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
Status: offline

Yes, they are stupid. I am not generally sexually visually motivated, unless I already know and care about the possessor of said genitalia. Shame some men don't get it.

And it's been said that we ladies took away the mystery of discovery and allure in our attire through the decades... what are these men saying by slamming us with penis photos? That all they are is a penis. I treat them as such.

There is no redemption in my eyes for the folly of posting a penis photo, or nay making the glaring mistake of sending one attached to a email to me.

~Lady Laura

(in reply to MarinaBlack)

Post #: 12

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/7/2006 5:55:45 AM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

I found the posting below on a local website that encompasses all kinds of alternative seeking. The original post included a big ole weenie pic.

swm looking for a woman to explore the world of s&m b/d.
new to scene and looking for same.
we can learn together.
sub, dom, switch I'm open to all
5'11" * 175 lbs *
pics available to trade.
Write and say hello

While I tend to find myself more than my share of newbies I just don't understand some boys. I know that wankers abound as I'm usually the one coming along with the rubber stamp. It just peeves me sometimes that so many believe that kinky sex = go find a sub. Do me kinky sex and they can't even bother to have the standards to be specific about what they're looking for. Sorry all, we return you to your regulary scheduled rant.

The point of my posting. Why is it that newbies...especially males too often seem to present themselves as a wanker and only those that are sincere after a few bumps and bashings bring out enough manners to attempt to present themselves in a positive light?
It seems to me that those that came forward and said hi I'm new and would be appreciative of any guidence and instruction that you could provide would be welcomed. So why is it that they seem to present themselves everything from "I'm interested" and no other explaination about themselves all the way to "I'm an expert slave that begs to obey. Teach me as you please" ? Why do they do this?

Do I ever know what you mean.I get that type of mail all the time.
I chalk it up to horney guys not having a clue about the real BDSM world.So many believe its all about sex.My advice to them when I get such a letter is a link to a website that has some basic info about D/s workings.
If they then come back with a different attitude and a real want to learn I will give them an opportunity to chat,if it then becomes apparent that are still trying for just a 'lay' with kink...they are promptly kicked to the curb.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 13

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/7/2006 6:02:17 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Remember Ladies, "Watch it, objects in the mirror may appear larger than they seem"!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 14

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/7/2006 6:27:06 AM

Jasmyn

Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

I found the posting below on a local website that encompasses all kinds of alternative seeking. The original post included a big ole weenie pic.

swm looking for a woman to explore the world of s&m b/d.
new to scene and looking for same.
we can learn together.
sub, dom, switch I'm open to all
5'11" * 175 lbs *
pics available to trade.
Write and say hello

While I tend to find myself more than my share of newbies I just don't understand some boys. I know that wankers abound as I'm usually the one coming along with the rubber stamp. It just peeves me sometimes that so many believe that kinky sex = go find a sub. Do me kinky sex and they can't even bother to have the standards to be specific about what they're looking for. Sorry all, we return you to your regulary scheduled rant.

Personally I think this person is quite specific in what he wants. He is looking for a woman to explore S&M and B&D, two very scene specific activities, neither requiring a pledge of dominance or submission in the traditional 'ownership' model. He states he's open to exploring all roles, so am a little confused as to why you found it specifically upsetting (perhaps the dick pic' sure) when it was posted on a website encompassing all kinds of alternative seeking, not just d/s.

On that note, it pays to keep in mind dominance and submission in the 'ownership' model is infact a rarity in the BDSM/Fetish scene, most are only interested in scene specific activities, bedroom bondage and kinky sex. Yes it gets frustrating when they continually approach a professed 'Mistress' but the BDSM/Fetish scene as we know it is relatively new in its existence and because it is still in it's infancy it's all shiny and new like a brand new toy and screeds of people are just dying to unwrap it with absolutely no clue as to what 'submission' to another actually might entail.

I've given up getting frustrated by it, rather it just makes me more appreciative of men who are genuine.

_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.

Visit My Website

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 15

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/7/2006 7:58:24 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I realize it might be frustrating if one is looking through profiles and ads. I don't look. This attitude is pretty much the bulk of what makes up the male population on any alternative lifestyle site. Hell, it makes up the bulk of males in any chatroom! It's why I don't ever do chatrooms, either.
It is when they carry this attitude over into the email they are sending to My box that I get tired out. Now they have taken their goals and pushed them onto Me. Most of the time, rudely.
I just got a very polite and respectful offer to "amuse" Me on webcam. I did write back that I am not seeking and do not interact on cam. I got a very polite reply that he felt he would just offer to make My day more amusing and the offer stands if I ever see him online.
Well, frankly, I am not going to look, but I am not going to take offense (this time! *S*). He really was quite polite. He is also very young (very early 20's) and I could also read that he must be quite inexperienced in his assumption that I might need or be open to web cam amusement. Since he did display such good manners, I did send a short second reply that it might be wise to consider that all Ladies, just because they have a profile on an alternative lifestyle site, are not open to receiving these types of offers, polite or not.
That is the assumption that concerns Me. Write anything you like in your profile, because I am not going to see it anyway. And there are people out there who will love this type of cyber play. But the pushiness of the one liners and the assumption that we are all "hot to trot", or needing and wanting a cyber chat buddy and a web cam scene partner get to be a royal pain after 20 or 30 of these types of emails. Then I blowup and take it out on some poor guy who probably didn't deserve it. And I am good for the next 20 to 30 of them. *W*
They do it because they can and they don't know any better. Some of them may want to learn. Most of them don't and only have one agenda.
As Jasmyn said, it is the way of the internet.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 3/7/2006 8:00:07 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 16

RE: Why do they do this?? - 3/7/2006 8:15:41 AM

MzDonna

Posts: 8
Joined: 5/17/2004
Status: offline

I have found that in some cases when I replied to one of these *newbies* that they were actually new, and their understanding of what bdsm is about is what is "dished out" in the chat rooms ......the thing bothers me the most is when they send their picture or post it . its a bloody picture of their penis ........

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 17

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