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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 5:14:24 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me it's a reaction. I react submissively towards his personality and actions.

(in reply to CaringandReal)
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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 5:25:26 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		Dominance or submission is emotional for sure, but I don't think it is emotion in and of itself. It has attached to it a high component of feelings and instinctive response. It is an interesting question because of how I seem to test out the waters with people. On the submissive side, I will run headlong into someone's supposed stone walls. Either they won't move and I try all the harder to break through or I crumble it and find them running up against my walls. After an attempt or to to break, shake, or otherwise move the person, I either begin to "feel" the wall. Either it is uncomfortable and harsh to my sensibilities or I find it someplace where I can lean down and rest at last. On the dominant side, it actually seems to work in reverse. I feel something toward a person (protective, controlling, sort of jealous maybe). When these feelings are met with enthusiasm, then my grip tightens in a very calculated manner. If the person is uncomfortable, then I usually will walk away. On rare occasion, I have found myself willing to settle someone into something enjoyable. These processes take forethought and planning and only begin to formulate based on my growing knowledge of the person.

It is a feeling that leads to action or it is an action that leads to feeling, but either way, I don't really have one without the other. Last I checked chemistry didn't happen all on its own. I reaction occurs due to a series of deliberate actions.

lovingpet

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 5:48:07 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		Not sure if it's a feeling or not, but it's something that just comes naturally for me, it always has.  I don't try just happens, thank goodness I found this lifestyle....lol

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 5:58:33 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Submission is not a feeling for me, but an action. I submit; I do his will and not my own. That to me is submission.

However, there are not a lot of people that I perceive as dominant and many of those are people who consider themselves dominant. There are certain people who just have this way about them and my instinctive reaction is to submit to them. There are other people that if they tried to exercise authority over me, I would just laugh at.

I don't really have a rational explanation for that perception; it is more of a feeling that I have and I just react. I submitted to my Lord from the very first time that we crossed paths. As soon as I knew what he wanted, I had to do it that way, even if it was really hard to do. I get much the same vibe from his brother too. It is really funny when they give me conflicting orders at the same time. He just smiles and watches me struggle with rationalizing who I have to obey and who I don't.

Knight's Kyra

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"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 6:05:03 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		~FR~

I'm pretty tired, so not sure that I'll be able to coherently explain my thoughts, but here it goes. I might regret this in the morning. ::grins::

I'm not very submissive but in the presence of great power, I am in awe of that power and that manifests in the desire to serve, to submit, at times to beg to be allowed to remain in the presence of that power and I'm willing to go pretty far for it. I will be obedient and loyal hoping that the possessor of that power will keep me around so I can bask in the wonder of it. Sometimes that brings on a battle with my intellect either because the man holding that power isn't right for me, is unavailable to me, is unknown to me or whatever other reason there may be so I have to put those emotions/desires/wants etc. to feed on that power on a tight leash so it doesn't overwhelm the rest of 'me' or worse, suck someone else dry like a vampire and leave them powerless trying to feed me. That's the last thing I would want to happen in a relationship with someone for whom I care.

I know it would be quite easy to lose myself in it and as I have an addictive personality, it could lead to an unhealthy addiction or consequences with which I don't care to deal. I'm not always successful at keeping a rein on it though and twice that resulted in me being collared to a man who had that power (in the second case I mistook his physical beauty for power and I think he did, too) but just wasn't right for me. Third time, though.. that was a charm. His power had me from the get go but he wanted me to want more than just his power, so he put us on a slow pace and we built a foundation together, brick by brick because he wanted something that would last, not burn out with its brillance and most importantly, he wanted to make sure that I wasn't just a power junkie, but that I had matured enough and grown enough in my own power that I would recognize his humanity and not expect god-like strength and wisdom from him. Turns out, that worked really well for us.

I think, in the end, power evokes certain feelings of longing in me that manifest in the desire to submit to it and the end result is that I submit to the holder of that power because that's what feels most comfortable to me. Power makes me feel safe, secure, cuddled, hugged ... things that were never part of my life and which are so appreciated by me now so I guess that submission brings out that inner child that missed those things growing up because that sort of power makes me feel smaller (although, weirdly, not really any younger) and dropping to my knees seems to level the way I feel with how much of a view I have from that position. When I feel two feet tall in the face of power, I *am* two feet tall when I'm on my knees so it balances things for me and keeps my slight case of OCD and need for symmetry content.

If this makes a lick of sense, ya'll are probably drinking too much. ::grins:: My eyes are almost closed.. I can't even proof-read because I can't see and by the time I wake up it will be too late to edit typos or missing words so this is what it is. Good night!

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 10:00:48 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

So how is it for you?


Well, thanks. Why?

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 10:10:19 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

For me it's a reaction. I react submissively towards his personality and actions.


I really like that. A lot. Very thought-provoking. I've said it before and I'll say it again, you're one of the most original and insightful thinkers on this board.


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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 10:29:43 PM   
sravaka


Posts: 314
Joined: 6/20/2008
Status: offline 		There are two ways that submission works for me--  first, as a reaction; second, as an act.  (I'd say a proaction if that were a word.)

There are dominant people in the world to whom I respond automatically.  They say, "do this," and I do it before I have a chance to cogitate about it.  Then I look back and think, "whoa, wtf was that??"  Or they don't even have to say "do this."  They can get to me with a touch or a look and put me immediately in obey/follow/please-space.  This is both delicious and terrifying.  Delicious because....  there's something unspeakably primal about it--  there's some moment of otherwise blinding/obliterating direct communication between my core and the core of the d-type.  Terrifying because, obviously, it can lead to all kinds of trouble if one can't get one's wits about one and judge lucidly whether it is sane to be submitting to whoever he is.

I'm not at all like that "normally"--  only in a particular kind of dominant presence, which, for good or ill, is fairly rare.

In the second case, I'm in some kind of relationship and I do things because I love the other person and want to make him happy-- perhaps by obeying him, perhaps by anticipating his needs... perhaps by putting his before mine and finding ways to take care of him.  In the outer reaches, I'm not sure that that is equivalent to "submission" in a bdsm sense, but it does arise from an impulse to serve and please.

The ideal, of course, would be to encounter someone who inspires both the reaction and the proaction, but sadly, I've not yet encountered that in any durable way.

Anyway, I think that neither of these things is a "feeling," in the sense of an emotion, in and of itself.  The first one gives rise to all manner of intense feelings, but is ultimately just a kind of chemistry.  The second grows out of feelings, but is just a particular way of expressing them.

Or maybe the point is that "submissive" for me is a behavior, and the difference between #1 and #2 is whether it arises spontaneously or with some amount of conscious work?

Regardless, very cool question.  I hope you'll give your own take on it, the.dark!









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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 10:47:16 PM   
GraciousLady


Posts: 529
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		It makes me feel more satisfied and content in general. Like all is (more) right with my world.

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:13:24 PM   
MarcEsadrian


Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Due to a discussion in another thread, I realised that some people define submission and domination as a 'feeling'.  That some people 'feel' submission or 'feel' dominant over someone.
So how is it for you?

the.dark.


Hi Dark,

Submission: vibrant feelings, rising and uncoiling in the body of acts, which give way to more feelings, and more acts. It is thinking and experiential; you cannot divide the two, in my experience. To define submission as an act or feeling alone seems like a halting and dissection of the process into two halves, where one is discarded.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:48:06 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		Actually, it was a misunderstanding/misphrasing due to lack of caffeine!  I had intended to say "feeling submission toward" (in the sense of reacting submissively or experiencing submission, like feeling responsible), rather than "feeling submissive" as a single emotion.  At the same time, it *is* very much a reaction to an individual person, inspired by him, if you want to put it that way, not a fixed aspect of my personality.  I tend to be slightly "submissive" in social circumstances with strangers, especially if they are older, and slightly dominant in most of my previous relationships.  However, unless there is that sense of surrender from one person or the other, that wholehearted yielding, *and* a relationship that works for both people with a formal D/s dynamic, I can't consider it to involve dominance or submission.  Most people just don't evoke that kind of response from me, they're just neutral.  While obedience is required of me when I submit, merely going through the motions of the activity isn't sufficient, I really need to be in that headspace!  Otherwise, it's not significantly different from obeying/cooperating as a volunteer for an organization.  My Master doesn't need to specifically act to get me there at this point.  I feel the emotions I associate with submission more or less strongly at various times, but I don't start and stop my submission/slavery to him, once it was established.  There's no "role" for me to step out of.  If I ever stopped reacting to him submissively, and it seemed to be permanent, I'd need to beg to renegotiate our relationship dynamic, even if I were completely compliant and obedient.  It would be an outright lie to claim to be his submissive if I didn't respond to him that way.  I often feel like an extension of his will and even of his body, like dancing with a really great lead.  Doing what he wants is natural, and often is almost an automatic reaction, while resisting his will is very painful and difficult.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/16/2009 11:55:56 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Due to a discussion in another thread, I realised that some people define submission and domination as a 'feeling'.  That some people 'feel' submission or 'feel' dominant over someone.
So how is it for you?

the.dark.


No I don't feel dominant over others besides the one I own. I don't even focus on such feelings all the time.
Some people listen and pay better attention....if that makes me (feel) more dominant...propably not.

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/17/2009 12:47:24 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		It can be described as a feeling, but I experience it more as an orientation.


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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/17/2009 1:03:46 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I'm a dominant personality who can feel more dominant with certain people. So I guess my answer is yes, I feel it. It can also be a decision or choice to be dominant or take a dominant place in situations or with people. I am not sure I understand... lol... maybe I should try to find the other thread. I don't have to feel dominant to be dominant... but do love those dominant feelings. lol


I more less feel like this too, mind you there are times when I hate having to take the Dominant place in certain situations. Because if somebody was doing their job right in the first place I would not have to exert the extra engery due to their stupidity or lazy ass, lol...

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/17/2009 1:14:49 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists

I get much the same vibe from his brother too. It is really funny when they give me conflicting orders at the same time. He just smiles and watches me struggle with rationalizing who I have to obey and who I don't.



and if my brother had an inkling of was happening... he would join me in continuing the conflicting orders just to fuck with you.... of course... it would put him in a dilema... if he realized that I enjoyed that it screwed with your head he wouldn't want to do it... but then he would be support me to have you do what I want... and shit... he can't be on my side that way either. mmmmmmmmm I think I going to have give him an inkling since it would fuck with his head .


But to the OP......

I compare Dominance and Submission alot like breathing. I don't think about breathing in most cases... except when exert myself in such a manner that breathing is hard or requiring above normal effort. So... with Dominance... I don't go around thinking for feeling Dominant... I just do. But sometimes... the effort brings a sense of awareness of the Dominance... and with that sense of awareness it ignites some positive feelings and thoughts. But... life goes on and move forward just doing with no specific awareness of my apparent Dominant disposition to some or even myself.


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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/17/2009 5:10:02 AM   
oceanwyndsLoves


Posts: 44
Joined: 9/15/2009
Status: offline 		Hi dark

I do not equate submissive with feeling, but there are many feelings that I do experience in being submissive. I would say it is just a descriptive word for who I am. I am Jewish and it brings certain parts of this brings feelings to me. I am a Jewish witch and this too brings feelings in things I do. I am many descriptive words but they are a part of me and help me in the realm of feelings.

Blessings
oceanwynds

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RE: You got a feeling? - 10/17/2009 10:54:00 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Due to a discussion in another thread, I realised that some people define submission and domination as a 'feeling'.  That some people 'feel' submission or 'feel' dominant over someone.
So how is it for you?

the.dark.


I have *feelings of submissiveness* toward him nowadays because I've been owned by him for so many years and have actually *submitted* to him for so long.  Some of it is a certain kind of conditioning and some of it is an emotional reaction to him because he's held authority over me for such a long time. I don't have natural *feelings* of submissiveness toward anyone.

Being owned fucks with your head........LOL

agirl

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