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porcelaine -> RE: Do you ever wish you were not a slave (10/17/2009 6:39:42 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Falkenstein
You noticed that many feel unhappy in their servitude, I suppose that also many feel happy too. Nevertheless, I think that the purpose of any good person is to improve happiness, to make this place a more enjoyable one, particularly for the ones next to us.
it is my belief unhappiness has several causes and it may not stem from the relationship at all. it is difficult to pinpoint without intimate knowledge of a given situation. in an ideal world slavery would magnify an individual in every manner possible. i believe this fails to take place for many reasons; the most common being a clear understanding of what the station entails and what services means for that Individual. what might appear to be arousing can become a noose around ones neck in the long term. it is important that she's aware of what she seeks and is realistic as to whether the situation will meet her needs and provide a healthy environment that allows for growth and betterment.
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I do not have a solution, but I wish there could be some kind of middle way, where the happiness of both is the goal, and not the pursuit -- or avoidance of complete slavery at all costs. The unhappiness of the slave is of course the most obvious one -- and the most heart-wrenching.
i see slavery as a progression from submission. i don't believe it is ever the starting point. having intimate knowledge of oneself creates a much better dynamic in the long run. we become comfortable with who we are and we're able to articulate our desires succinctly. we also realize no doesn't mean we're unworthy, but the situation may not be suited for our well being. there's no harm or shame involved in this.
it is called slavery for a reason. the idea versus the reality can be a huge shock for many. if the slave possesses an innate desire to serve that isn't the product of something traumatic, escapist, codependent, or any other motives save a willingness to please and yield, it can be very satisfying. this isn't to imply that one is drawn to the path for the same reasons, but there are definite characteristics i find common in those that are both successful and sincerely joyful in their station. in short, they radiate and it is hard to miss.
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But what about the Master, who find him- (or her-) self in a position where he is forced to do things he does necesseraly want to do, to keep the relationship going (?). You said "she should discuss her feelings with Him and seek guidance. it is an exchange after all". Do you think it is possible for "Him" to do the same?
leaders are always called upon to make difficult decisions. in our mundane lives we have each encountered situations where we're literally choosing the lesser of two evils, why would this path be any different? He must be able to execute, even in those instances where the options appear limited. hopefully He has a capacity for lateral thinking and is willing to admit when the circumstances exceed His capabilities. if so, outside assistance is always the better course than inaction.
in my opinion He's the CEO. He wanted the helm and He has it. every good leader has tools in place that offset His deficiencies. when He is unable to discuss things with her for whatever reasons, where does He turn? admittedly i'm a proponent for communication, but i also recognize that people enjoy being able to bounce ideas off of unbiased parties. i would hope He has someone in His arsenal that He trusts that provides an ear when needed. when He's come to some reasonable conclusions in His head and feels satisfied with the course of action He'll take, He should discuss it with her. during the period of uncertainty i believe reassurance should be provided that He has the matter in hand and is putting a solution in place. oftentimes people are far more agitated when they're unaware and left in the dark.
the hardships should be seen as workable solutions that provide incentives for change. both are going to err and make a heap of mistakes. it is important not to lose sight of this and the human element overall. wrestling with oneself and all the internal changes taking place is part of the surrender. attempts to sidestep or avoid the emotional undercurrents will always be met with failure. it is something we each undergo and there are marked lessons in the sufferance. some are wired in a manner where they're able to internalize the discomfort by focusing on Him or utilizing other methods for grounding and tranquility, others become depressed and are swallowed whole by the experience.
whatever her response she must view what is happening with honest eyes. denying her discomfort and plastering on a smile is counterproductive. if she adheres to the misguided idea of perfection she will eventually come to despise it all. while i understand it can be frightening to share those feelings with ones Owner, that is why He exists. we must be willing to show our authenticity, even when we're not at our finest. He can provide demonstrated reasons where our thinking has run amok and lead us back to Him. sometimes the fear isn't about being less than perfect, but truthfully resistance to the surrender that is taking place. this is normal as well and if He's wise He's devised methods to offset its negative influences.
lastly, it is imperative that she has a support network. the path is arduous and can be very difficult to explain to outsiders. merely being in the company of others that have experienced the same on some level can be comforting. the most important thing she must keep in mind is patience and learning to be still. when the waters rage is precisely when she needs to turn within and find her balance. i view these internal rumblings as a sign that i've strayed too far and a call for realignment. the silence inevitably brings in clarity, a restoration of peace, and inspires a deeper surrender which heightens ones servitude as well.
the merits of the path are plentiful. the limitations and hindrances are truthfully those she places upon herself and within her way. the slave is a lot like dorothy on her journey to oz. it took a long winding road and some interesting experiences for her to uncover what she already possessed. we make similar discoveries in our journey with the One we serve.
porcelaine
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