RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting people online

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/17/2010 1:39:55 PM

LadyEllen

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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

For any guy who wants some insight into what it looks like from the other side of the gender fence, make a female submissive profile, and then read your emails for one week.

When I see what floods Kim's account, I get a new appreciation for the crap they put up with.

Jeeze Rex, don't encourage them!
There's too many guys who do that now on this site.

awwww! You say that like you dont like it!

E

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/17/2010 1:40:34 PM

Lockit

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I remember on 2007-2008, we had a lot of women here sharing their experiences with men coming in to hear those experiences and getting off to them. It was disgusting, but a fact of life. While I think we need to talk about these things, I think we need a different format for it and lots of awareness.

I will never forget my brother's rape by a mass murderer and a few years later I got a call from him in the middle of the night begging me to come get him, someone intended him harm. Again. He could not tell me where he was in an area we had grown up in. He just kept begging me to get there fast and help him.

A guy he knew from work, they decide to go to the other guy's house and have a few drinks. He had to trust this guy in the first place because the first rapist/mass murderer had a hit on him and had connections everywhere and my brother was basically in hiding.

You never know even when you think you do. I encourage being aware even when you are having fun. Never leaving a drink unattended, like in non smoking places... just don't do it. Learn self defense and don't count on it, but pray you can use it effectivily. And if it happens to you... do go to the hospital and let them do what they need to do... even if you feel you are at fault or were stupid or don't want to. It will help in your healing.

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/17/2010 2:11:56 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

Brotherhood of Scary Hair

this is worth swiping

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/17/2010 2:40:49 PM

juliaoceania

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You know, I feel some of what she is saying, and I am cautious when meeting people, but I think she exaggerates the fear of being approached by men. I get asked all the time when I am out if I am seeing anyone or not. Of course I do not inhabit dark alleys much, so if a stranger comes up and talks to me I do not run screaming "potential rapist!"

At the same time, I do not like being approached by strangers for dates... it feels weird.

And men should worry about meeting strangers from the internet too.

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/17/2010 2:51:56 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

And men should worry about meeting strangers from the internet too.

yanno...this is a good point.

As females we know some of the safety measures to take (meeting in a public place, having a safe call, etc) but i have to wonder how many men take safety measures as well?

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/17/2010 2:58:04 PM

Phoenixpower

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quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

For any guy who wants some insight into what it looks like from the other side of the gender fence, make a female submissive profile, and then read your emails for one week.

When I see what floods Kim's account, I get a new appreciation for the crap they put up with.

Jeeze Rex, don't encourage them!
There's too many guys who do that now on this site.

Even worse...now they find even a justification for it and can claim they were told to do so

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/17/2010 7:42:44 PM

Arpig

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Reading this makes me ever so glad I am a slightly creepy old man...I really don't have to worry when or where I go...even muggers assume I am broke and leave me alone (except to bum a smoke....people are always bumming smokes from me wherever I go.

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/18/2010 12:06:10 AM

Ialdabaoth

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Of course, there's a flipside to the Schrödinger's Rapist, that is equally terrifying for some of us males:

The Schrödinger's girl-who-cries-rape.

I have sometimes been legitimately fearful, when approaching or being approached by women, of a "yes-means-no" scenario - retroactive revocation of consent (aka "morning-after regret"). Fearful enough to deliberately distance myself from people that otherwise would have been very fun to play with.

Similarly, when walking down the street (I walk somewhat quickly), whenever I pass a woman who's walking alone some part of my brain says "oh God, is she going to mace me because she thinks I'm coming up behind her to attack her?". Watching someone drop into a threat display when they walk past me, when I wasn't even paying attention to them and was minding my own business, reminds me that I'm the enemy no matter where I go, and no matter what I do or how I, personally, treat women.

I'm suspect because I have a penis.

And yes, I understand that it has to be this way. But it wears on a guy, you know?

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/18/2010 5:36:05 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Falkenstein

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

For any guy who wants some insight into what it looks like from the other side of the gender fence, make a female submissive profile, and then read your emails for one week.

When I see what floods Kim's account, I get a new appreciation for the crap they put up with.

I have access to such an account, and I concur. Sometimes I wonder why there is still some non-lesbian submissive left.

I get messages from women that are just as bad. I loved the one who told me I had a new owner now (hers) and then had the nerve to ask me if I was a "player".

I swear, I don't know why people who restrict by gender to reduce worthless PMs bother allowing PMs at all. I think I'd rather deal with the guys than the woman, even if I do get more from guys. The most persistent and disturbing series of PMs I got was from a female dominant.

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/18/2010 7:33:34 AM

VioletGray

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ialdabaoth

Of course, there's a flipside to the Schrödinger's Rapist, that is equally terrifying for some of us males:

The Schrödinger's girl-who-cries-rape.

I have sometimes been legitimately fearful, when approaching or being approached by women, of a "yes-means-no" scenario - retroactive revocation of consent (aka "morning-after regret"). Fearful enough to deliberately distance myself from people that otherwise would have been very fun to play with.

Valid Point.

quote:

Similarly, when walking down the street (I walk somewhat quickly), whenever I pass a woman who's walking alone some part of my brain says "oh God, is she going to mace me because she thinks I'm coming up behind her to attack her?". Watching someone drop into a threat display when they walk past me, when I wasn't even paying attention to them and was minding my own business, reminds me that I'm the enemy no matter where I go, and no matter what I do or how I, personally, treat women.

I'm suspect because I have a penis.

And yes, I understand that it has to be this way. But it wears on a guy, you know?

Crazy Paranoid.

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/18/2010 10:36:39 AM

CalifChick

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I thought I had mentioned this back when this thread was new, but I guess I didn't. About 20 years ago, six of us (3 couples) got together for dinner and board games. This particular night we played the game "Scruples, The Game of Moral Dilemmas". Basically you are given a scenario and decide how you would react. Your choices are "yes", "no", and "depends". The other players decide if you're telling the truth or bluffing.

The biggest "discussion" was on one question (and it was heated enough that I remember it after 20 years), and the question was (paraphrased), "You see someone walking down the street with a duffel bag, headed towards a strip mall with a laundromat. You just came from there and know they are closed. Do you stop and tell them?" All the men said "yes" and all the women said "it depends". The men were flabbergasted at our reasoning.

1, we don't know they have laundry in the bag.
2, it doesn't say if we're on foot or in a car.
3, it doesn't say if it's a man, a woman, someone who looks unsavory.

and so on... there wasn't enough information for the women to give a definitive answer. That's when we told the men that we are always on guard... sometimes on high alert, sometimes on low alert, but always assessing situations for our own safety. And that's when the heated discussion took place. Because they didn't do it (and this was small-town Louisiana), they couldn't believe that WE did it.

Cali

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/18/2010 2:47:02 PM

rockspider

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I do remember once in Copenhagen many years back. i was walking in a fairly dark place and as I normally walk pretty fast I was about to pass some older woman. As i drev level with her, she swung her handbag at my face and caught me completely of guard. What do you call that? Does her paranoia justify taking a swing at every Tom, Dick and Harry? I feel that articles like the OP's is just encouraging that kind of behaviour.

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/19/2010 4:34:07 AM

VioletGray

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rockspider

I do remember once in Copenhagen many years back. i was walking in a fairly dark place and as I normally walk pretty fast I was about to pass some older woman. As i drev level with her, she swung her handbag at my face and caught me completely of guard. What do you call that? Does her paranoia justify taking a swing at every Tom, Dick and Harry? I feel that articles like the OP's is just encouraging that kind of behaviour.

Sounds like she was a little on edge. But I know I'm wary of people who come up behind me quickly in a dark place, and I suspect that you wouldn't completely ignore them either.

As far as encouraging "Handbag to the Face" behavior, I believe the article was making an observation rather than a statement, an observation that is less obvious to men than it is to women (and understandably so, most men have never been women.)

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/19/2010 8:58:01 AM

SL4V3M4YB3

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opere citato:

quote:

When I go on a date, I always leave the man’s full name and contact information written next to my computer monitor. This is so the cops can find my body if I go missing.

Yeah sure unless he steals your keys from your dead body and goes back to your house to wipe out all links to his identity. You didn't prepare for that possibility now did ya?

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RE: "Schrodinger’s Rapist" and meeting peop... - 1/20/2010 2:53:03 AM

petmonkey