Respect..love..empowerment (Full Version)

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GYPSYMAMBO -> Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 7:56:21 AM)

hello all..[:)]


DO you respect your slave/sub? how do you show it if you do?
DO you love your slave/sub?
Do you seek to empower your slave/sub?
as in...moulding through authority to ensure/enable they are the best slave/sub they an be/mentoring in life..to bring out potential and inate gifts.
How?


GM



SimplyIsaac -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:01:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

hello all..[:)]


DO you respect your slave/sub? 


Not necessarily.


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO
DO you love your slave/sub?


Not necessarily.


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO
Do you seek to empower your slave/sub?
GM


Insufficient data. How do YOU mean?



VampiresLair -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:04:24 AM)

quote:


DO you respect your slave/sub?

Absolutely, I wouldnt have him if I didnt.

quote:


DO you love your slave/sub?

Dearly, which is why we are getting married tomorrow.

quote:

Do you seek to empower your slave/sub?
Define empower. Some definitions, such as make him a better stronger person then yes. Empower as in give him more freedoms and more power within the relationship... no.

DV



GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:04:52 AM)

within YOUR belief of what empowerment is ..do you seek to do this..??
not my idea of it .......... YOURS..

GM



VampiresLair -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:06:34 AM)

Again, empowerment hass many definitions. So, if I say yes, what does that tell you? Nothing. It is way too vague a term to just say "in your view of empowerment". I gave 2 examples, one yes and one no. But that doesnt tell you much about what you are asking. 



Acer49 -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:13:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

hello all..[:)]


DO you respect your slave/sub? 
DO you love your slave/sub?
Do you seek to empower your slave/sub?


GM

Yes
I'd like to
I hope so



GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:24:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

Again, empowerment hass many definitions. So, if I say yes, what does that tell you? Nothing. It is way too vague a term to just say "in your view of empowerment". I gave 2 examples, one yes and one no. But that doesnt tell you much about what you are asking. 


ty........I added to my original post...
It may have been a question I had within a question..;
trying to find out what empowering YOUR slave/sub means to you..

GM
ps BRIGHT BLESSINGS on your wedding day!



leadership527 -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:25:06 AM)

yes, yes, and yes.

To elaborate on the molding/empowering.

Internal to our relationship, I am actively stripping away her own value system and worldview and replacing it with something much more simple and "Jeff-oriented". I am making her "mine" inside her own head and heart.

Outside our relationship, I am nurturing her in every way I know of. That includes everything from where we live to how we make money to her art career and our overall lifestyle. Really, all of it is designed to suit her. My own needs are quite flexibile at this point in my life which frees me up to pretty much shape everything as close to optimally as I can for her.



SimplyIsaac -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:30:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

within YOUR belief of what empowerment is ..do you seek to do this..??
not my idea of it .......... YOURS..

GM


I'm with VampiresLair on this. A question is close to useless asked so openly and vaguely. Or are you being the Zen Teacher here again? Example: "The question doesn't matter so much as the thinking it stimulates in the students."



GraciousLady -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:45:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

hello all..[:)]


DO you respect your slave/sub? how do you show it if you do?
I don't know how you can have a slave you do not respect? Even if part of your kink is disrespect that means you both agree and that indicates respect.

DO you love your slave/sub?
Love is not needed for me to have a sub/slave to serve me. Love is not prohibited. It has just never come up.

Do you seek to empower your slave/sub?
Yes! That empowers me.

as in...moulding through authority to ensure/enable they are the best slave/sub they an be/mentoring in life..to bring out potential and inate gifts.
Yes. See the above answer for reason.

How?
How I bring their abilities out depends on their nature and abilities and what mine are. Each relationshop has it's own dynamic and I seek to find it and make it useful and satisfying for both of us.


GM




NuevaVida -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 8:53:02 AM)

I don't think these questions are too vague at all - they can apply to any part of the relationship/dynamic one wishes to apply them to.

On behalf of my owner:

He respects me

He loves me

He seeks to empower me by lifting me up rather than pushing me down, and by building on my existing confidence level, offering new insights and perspectives to my current views, and giving me a certain level of autonomy to go off and explore who I am.



Mercnbeth -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 10:21:06 AM)

quote:

DO you respect your slave/sub?

There is no distinction between the respect I have for beth and the respect I have for me. There is only one thing I respect more which I hold in higher esteem; the relationship that we have together.
quote:

how do you show it if you do?
I never have it out of my mind regardless of what I am doing. If I have a doubt about anything - I talk to her to confirm I'm making it in consideration of respecting our relationship.
quote:

DO you love your slave/sub?
More than anything else in my life.
quote:

Do you seek to empower your slave/sub?
No - she is empowered.
quote:

as in...moulding through authority to ensure/enable they are the best slave/sub they an be/mentoring in life..to bring out potential and innate gifts. How?
I don't "mold" her, never have and never wanted to. 'Molding' from my perspective, represents confinement, restriction into some artificial image. It's manipulating the media or the person. It's dangerous. Manipulate something beyond it's ability and you break it.

If there is any artistic reference it wouldn't be molding it would be sculpting as defined my Michaelangelo. When asked how he created his masterpiece works of sculpted marble he said that the beauty was already in the stone, a prisoner. All he did was take away the pieces that didn't represent the beauty locked within the stone.

I'm not representing that I'm the 'Michaelangelo' of slaves, but this is the perspective I have in mind concerning beth. I've done nothing but remove as much as possible, the parts to her life that prevented her from being herself. If I've given her anything it is access, and experience. beth is what she always was, but without the things preventing her to be naturally content and happy. she can now be 'naked' unafraid to expose any fantasy or desire and fear no repercussion. I facilitate her comfort to go 'deeper' into herself, whatever that is. As it turns out, 'herself' happens to be very submission, very masochistic, and wonderfully - VERY compatible with me!

I make sure she knows all of this, by telling her so; often and in many ways. It builds on her confidence, it builds our trust.



agirl -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 10:28:35 AM)

I'm respected, not sure about *loved* and yes, *empowered* .......... but he doesn't do it to make the best *submissive* I can be, as I'm not submissive anyhow. EVERYTHING he does is an aid to making me better than I was.........to make a positive difference ......not for HIM , not for anyone else .....but for me. He likes than kind of thing, I've noticed over the years ..........lol

agirl





RealSub58 -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 10:48:05 AM)

I am with NuevaVida on this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I don't think these questions are too vague at all - they can apply to any part of the relationship/dynamic one wishes to apply them to.

On behalf of my owner:

He respects me

He loves me

He seeks to empower me by lifting me up rather than pushing me down, and by building on my existing confidence level, offering new insights and perspectives to my current views, and giving me a certain level of autonomy to go off and explore who I am.




Empowerment is also the gift of his time in protection from so many of my fears, inadequacies and help in not avoiding the harshness of difficult decisions.  Empowerment is when he takes the "trip" with me, not pushing me into it alone. 
 
Love" is way too abstract a concept and I don't believe in the usual meaning---the ooshy gooshy sort of emotion that lives on the highs and lows of 2 people's interactions.

As an abstract concept, love usually refers to a deep, ineffable feeling of tenderly caring for another person. Even this limited conception of love, however, encompasses a wealth of different feelings, from the passionate desire and intimacy of romantic love to the nonsexual emotional closeness of familial and platonic love[2] to the profound oneness or devotion of religious love.[3] Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the creative arts.



OrionTheWolf -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 10:57:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO

hello all..[:)]


DO you respect your slave/sub? how do you show it if you do?


Respect would need to be defined to better answer this.

quote:


DO you love your slave/sub?


Yes I do, but I make sure to own her more than I love her. The more I own her, the more I can love her.

quote:


Do you seek to empower your slave/sub?
as in...moulding through authority to ensure/enable they are the best slave/sub they an be/mentoring in life..to bring out potential and inate gifts.
How?
GM


The definition you give of empowering, is not one that I would agree with. I manage my property so that she may improve herself. By doing that she becomes more valuable to me, and better able to serve. When she was first collared she had huge self-esteem issues, and those have improved over the relationship. She used to lack confidence in the things she does well, and that has improved via good management of her. If this is your definition of empowering, then there is your answer.

Now the how is dependent upon the person, but there are a few general rules I have. I would have to either find it, or recreate it, but I wrote an essay once on the augmentation of a slave's ego. It included a lot of Jungian and Freudian stuff, but in essence the point was that a person lives up to the expectations of the people they look to as having authority in their life. If I set the expectation to do well, then she often follows that without thought. The trip falls are emotional issues she may have, and each must be identified and cognitive behavioral therapy applied, which means she has to recognize them as a problem first, before anything else can be done. Once she recognizes them, then the triggers and cause/s must be determined, and removed from her environment. Then a plan to develope a new behavior to replace the old one. There is alot on CBT (not the BDSM acronym) out there so you can read at your leasure.



DesFIP -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 11:08:20 AM)

I wouldn't be with a man who didn't respect and love me and didn't want the best for me. Someone who was so insecure that they sought to keep me powerless is not someone I would want.

As it is, the more empowered I am, the more power I have to give to him.



porcelaine -> RE: Respect..love..empowerment (10/17/2009 11:15:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

If there is any artistic reference it wouldn't be molding it would be sculpting as defined my Michaelangelo. When asked how he created his masterpiece works of sculpted marble he said that the beauty was already in the stone, a prisoner. All he did was take away the pieces that didn't represent the beauty locked within the stone.

I'm not representing that I'm the 'Michaelangelo' of slaves, but this is the perspective I have in mind concerning beth. I've done nothing but remove as much as possible, the parts to her life that prevented her from being herself.


you've summed up my thoughts beautifully well with this statement. this is how i see my Owner and the role He plays in peeling back the layers. what many seek to shatter He's committed to unwrapping instead. well stated.

porcelaine



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