Don't you like men? (Full Version)

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SnowRanger -> Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 3:52:37 PM)

Hello A/all,

I don't want to betray any confidences here; but, here goes.

I had a pleasant meeting with a Domina recently.  The conversation turned to how we got interested in the D/s lifestyle.  I figured that she'd tell a story about wrestling her boy friend or something.  She related to me of a...  well... a 'negative experience' (understatement belive me) a few years ago.  Then she said that she wanted to give it to guys ever since.  There was this chill in my blood....

Ladies, is this common?  Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men?  Can't you like me and still want to spank me?

Cautiously,
Mike
SnowRanger



LadyPact -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 4:31:42 PM)

I won't lie to you, mike.  There are some females who get into S/m as some kind of revenge tactic.  (That's not a sexist statement, btw.  Some males do it, too.)

It's not the case the majority of the time.  I know it's hard, but don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch.



pyroaquatic -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 4:33:46 PM)

Does love or hate hurt more?

says the man clutching the rose.



LadyPact -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 4:35:32 PM)

I'm going to resist the temptation to flirt.  Mark your calendars, folks.



DemonKia -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 4:38:42 PM)

Mike, personally, if the case was flipped around & it was some guy who was working out his issues with women, I'd run (not walk) away . .. . .

[;)]

Hell, if it was a woman bitchin' about other women, I'd run . . . .

Or a man with all that pent up stuff about other guys -- I'm still running . . . . ..

In my book, BDSM play is no place to bring one's anger, bitterness, resentment, et al. . . . . . & I'm very damn picky about who I bottom to . .. . .



SnowRanger -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 4:39:40 PM)

WOW Milady... and thanks.



Politesub53 -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 4:41:50 PM)

I would think some men like the idea of a Domina who has no time for him and just intends to hurt and humiliate. I cant understand that thinking but dont doubt it exists.



porcelaine -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 4:51:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

Ladies, is this common?  Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men?  Can't you like me and still want to spank me?


unpleasant experiences can yield two outcomes. lessons we learn from or fear based responses. the latter can be expressed as inertia, hesitance, or revenge. you will encounter many on both sides of the whip that exhibit this behavior. they are a danger to themselves and those who unwittingly put their trust in them.

i believe it is possible to like someone and still possess a desire to beat the living snot out of them. however, everyone is wired differently and many don't require an emotional attachment (including likability) for these things to occur. i admit i could probably allow the same, but i believe doing so would compromise me in ways that i wouldn't enjoy in the long term. my response would be more akin to masochism than slavery. i don't believe the first would be fulfilling.

porcelaine



VampiresLair -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 4:57:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger
Ladies, is this common?  Are there many out there who have a score to settle with men?  Can't you like me and still want to spank me?


Actually, the dominants who have it out for the gender are few and far between. For the majority of us, we HAVE to like you to want to spank you.

DV



Lashra -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 5:06:48 PM)

I love men, in fact I own one I love them so much. I've always liked men and wish no ill upon the male gender. Some women though have been put through hell and so they are jaded (and vice versa). It just depends upon the individual.

~Lashra



Misstoyou -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 5:10:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: VampiresLair

Actually, the dominants who have it out for the gender are few and far between. For the majority of us, we HAVE to like you to want to spank you.




Precisely. And why that is so difficult for many men to understand eludes me.



MsRose -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 5:27:12 PM)

I like men. Love them in fact. I also like hurting men. Love hurting them in fact. As a safe and sane individual, I am rest assured that I have no personal vendettas, issues or violent intentions toward men. I think therapy is the place where you work that stuff out. I could be wrong, but that's my philosophy. Perhaps you might wish to suggest to this domina that talking about her problems re men, rather than beating them, might be a better solution.  Then walk away.

My 2 pennies.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 5:44:07 PM)

~Fast Reply~
I think I'd get the hell outta there, really fast!!  Wow!!



LadyPact -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 5:44:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

WOW Milady... and thanks.


Anytime, sweetie.



DesFIP -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 6:27:12 PM)

I've seen women state this outright, that somebody hurt them and so they're dominant in order to avoid that again. The problem with this is that they still aren't dominant by nature. They're control freaks to the outside world because they feel out of control inside themselves. May be self protection instead of revenge, but isn't what I would describe as a dominant nature.



AcademyForSlaves -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 7:06:09 PM)

In my opinion you don't have to HATE men to dominate them. I dominate with LOVE. It's shocking to know there's some people in the world who take one gender and literally lump them all together as if they're one person. I try not to take a bad experience out on someone and that should go for both parties. Why should a person suffer because of something that someone else did to you, right?

Hope this helps.



GreedyTop -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 7:07:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to resist the temptation to flirt.  Mark your calendars, folks.


dammit, between this, vet appointments, etc, that ,little square is overflowing....



MsFlutter -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 7:09:07 PM)

I'm definitely a liker of men :)

There are, without a doubt, a number of females who have a serious ax to grind and decorate their agenda in the wardrobe of BDSM. I dont use the term 'man hater' often but there seems to quite a few of them on this coast. Strikes me as an unhealthy use of energy - not to mention a great way to buy oneself a big load of bad karma.

I agree with Vampires Lair - I have to like you to spank you. I have to like you to do ANYthing to you other than ignore you. If I like you, the creative energy produces all sorts of interesting things.



AlexandraLynch -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 8:07:06 PM)

I find, in fact, that when I hurt someone it's a very intimate thing. Some girls can't have sex promiscuously because they fall in love with the guys they sleep with. Me, I can't play with just anyone because I fall a little in love with the people I hurt. 



DarkSteven -> RE: Don't you like men? (10/17/2009 8:08:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm going to resist the temptation to flirt.  Mark your calendars, folks.


/Strides in front of LadyP manfully to test her resolve/



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