why don't I (Full Version)

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cillydom -> why don't I (10/18/2009 2:38:27 PM)

Why don’t I respond to more profiles. When I read a lot of submissive profiles complaining of the responses they have gotten in the past it seems like your in a contest where witticism and not sincerity and approach are paramount.

In a way I guess it is a contest though I hate the thought of figuratively standing in line waving my missive to get her attention, it just doesn’t appeal to me.

Well that’s my reason and im sticking to it.



DesFIP -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 2:42:13 PM)

If you have read a woman's profile, you are far ahead of the rest. Referencing something nonsexual from it in your email would be even better. And if she posts on the forums, and you ask a question relating to something she said again that cannot be construed as a sexual come on, you will be the only intelligent male she has gotten email from in a year.

Obviously if she says only local and you are 1,000 miles away, you won't write her. Do her the honor of believing and accepting what she writes. Unless you sincerely just want to ask something. If it's a come on, we will know it.



DarkSteven -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 2:44:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

Why don’t I respond to more profiles. When I read a lot of submissive profiles complaining of the responses they have gotten in the past it seems like your in a contest where witticism and not sincerity and approach are paramount.

In a way I guess it is a contest though I hate the thought of figuratively standing in line waving my missive to get her attention, it just doesn’t appeal to me.



Funny, I like the idea of contacting someone whose profile I enjoy.  If she doesn't respond, that's okay.  If she does, she does.

I don't think of it as a competition, and I try to keep my ego out of it.



kiwisub12 -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 2:49:21 PM)

OP - you will find that a lot of female subs get one-liners, two liners and photos of bits of the mailer that are required by law to be covered. An intelligent email will probably get a reply, as would, as mentioned above, a email that shows the mailer has read the emailees profile and actually found something that he liked - not just sending cut and past emails to everyone on a list.



leadership527 -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 2:57:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If you have read a woman's profile, you are far ahead of the rest. Referencing something nonsexual from it in your email would be even better. And if she posts on the forums, and you ask a question relating to something she said again that cannot be construed as a sexual come on, you will be the only intelligent male she has gotten email from in a year.
In support of this, I think that out of all the cmails I have written to various subs, no more than 5 didn't get responses and those 5 didn't really require a response, they were more like drive-by "Hey, I liked xxxx in your profile." type statements. Usually my cmails are in response to a post here on the forums. Sometimes they are a response to a profile. But they are always a specific response to something the person has written and they are never leading up to anything. Even if I was "in the market", my shopping would be among those I already had an relationship with via the above means.



Surrenderwithin -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 3:00:03 PM)

Heck, I even respond to most one liners. It is those solitary word emails or ones with picture attachments that I did not solicit that I tend to ignore.
Maggi
0 NZ points but working on it



cillydom -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 3:09:55 PM)

Another thing is the profiles that make it a form letter you have to fill out, who the hell is supposed to be the dom here?

If I can’t write the letter I want I’ll not write anything.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 3:31:55 PM)

I can't see writing a profile complaining about  anything.  Negativity will get you nowhere.  I try to keep mine upbeat, mostly saying the skills I have to offer Him - the reader - and a sentence about what I'd like in a relationship.



littlewonder -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 3:55:39 PM)

Personally for me in the past I never responded to emails from men who never read my profile or who would respond with only "hi" or "wanna chat?" or some other one liner.

If you want women to respond to you show sincerity, show a genuine interest in them. Show them that you put some thought into your email.

A woman wants to know she is special and not just another face in the crowd sotospeak.



GoDolphins -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 4:05:14 PM)

I'm beginning to wonder why we even have profiles on here. I have yet to be messaged by a single woman who has actually read my profile, excluding someone who I already knew anyway.

Anyway, if you don't like what you see on a profile, don't message that person. I know of no rule that requires you to do so or to explain yourself. I have ignored people and some of them have ignored me. It's just part of it I guess.



cillydom -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 4:45:42 PM)

I’m not complaining , I don’t have a right to an answer.

I’m just making a statement as to my feelings and why I don’t more often.

I’m nowhere near being a sensual or easy going dominant so I would appeal to few anyway.



AnimusRex -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 4:57:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

Why don’t I respond to more profiles. When I read a lot of submissive profiles complaining of the responses they have gotten in the past it seems like your in a contest where witticism and not sincerity and approach are paramount.

In a way I guess it is a contest though I hate the thought of figuratively standing in line waving my missive to get her attention, it just doesn’t appeal to me.

Well that’s my reason and im sticking to it.



OK, my curiousity got the better of me-

So how's that approach working out for you?



cillydom -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 5:25:11 PM)

lousy but thats life on the perverted side

no self pity here, just an observation



Missokyst -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 6:14:47 PM)

Yeah... I definitely think you should stick to your guns.  That way you can tell if someone really wants to get to know you because they contact you first.  Resist all urges to contact anyone, even if they are local to you, or if they seem like someone who is worth saying hello to.  :) 

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

Another thing is the profiles that make it a form letter you have to fill out, who the hell is supposed to be the dom here?

If I can’t write the letter I want I’ll not write anything.




MasterSlaveLA -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 6:23:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

I hate the thought of figuratively standing in line waving my missive to get her attention...



Or... that your insecurities leave you feeling you can't compete with the others supposedly "standing" in said "line"; and feel it best do nothing than risk rejection.




cillydom -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 6:35:45 PM)

There are no guns to stick to. I am open about what I want and am willing to receive a communication from anyone sincere, I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and not set standards for what and how they say something.

Some seem to have taken this as a complaint, in a way I can understand the why some women are that way about communications. The sheer volume they must get.

It’s a shame in that some get drowned out by the noise in the system and are weary of trying to be heard. I know some will say “that’s not a domly attitude”, well maybe I lack the heard mentality, I’m just me, a pervert seeking a willing victim.

This was just my personal observation.



porcelaine -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 7:17:24 PM)

when i once had a profile on this site it included a note that referenced the negativity people elect to include in their personal statement. i afford the same tenets one might associate with the resume to a profile. it is your virtual calling card. if you choose to espouse something negative, you run the risk of alienating someone that might have found you appealing otherwise. i have never understood the rantings either sex performs. but that's a personal bias.

i do not peruse profiles. if i notice one that is exceptionally well written i will compliment its author. but merely sifting through haphazardly isn't my forte. it is more commonplace for me to communicate with other persons from the board, than people on the personal side. i do find your stance interesting. i would gather you employ a similar tactic when you're in social venues as well. you stand on the sideline and wait for women to come to you. if that works for you, have at it.

now i'll admit i've spoken to two people with this mindset. they elected to view my profile but never initiated contact. me being the curious girl i am, i viewed them back and sent a short note inquiring about the peek. a conversation ensued from there. i was willing to do this in these cases, but that isn't my norm. i believe if you're going to have this outlook, you should be fairly certain that you bring something of merit to the table that will compel a woman to seek you, rather than the usual custom. i'm not espousing either, merely stating an observation.

truth be told, i won't do it again. i made exceptions due to my belief that each possessed good characteristics that are fundamental in an exchange. their active participation on the board provided additional insight and indicated they desired some form of community which i appreciate. however, to afford the same to another would be foolish. i will not participate in ego stroking or offset someone's fear of rejection or disgruntlement with women. adults communicate and i have a sneaking suspicion you're missing far more than you're willing to confess.

porcelaine



DesFIP -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 7:42:14 PM)

Cilly, go to off topic, and click on the link in Shrodinger's (sp) Rapist. It will explain better than I can why women aren't responding.

You can write whatever you want but you aren't my dom until I consent to it. And someone who wrote to me when I said I didn't want someone 20 years older, or who lives more than a hundred miles away is not someone I would ever consent to. There are lots of great fem dommes out there, just because they're dominant does not mean I'm going to consent to be their sub.

I am curious as to why you state that what you're doing does not work yet you insist on not changing. It's like not changing a burned out light bulb but repeatedly flicking the switch on. Not an attitude that most people would admire.



cillydom -> RE: why don't I (10/18/2009 7:47:58 PM)

I didn’t say I didn’t communicate, I said I seldom replied to profiles because of the conditions for doing so.

Depending on the type of social affair, I may or may not be assertive, there’s a term called puppy dogging , it’s used at social affairs where any single woman is relentlessly pursued by every desperate and sub male there, I’ll not be part of that.

What I have to offer would be appreciated by very few anyway, so I try to make that known and let them select themselves out instead of using a shotgun affect and emailing every one I can.



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