Are high personal standards wrong?

Are high personal standards wrong? (Full Version)

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[Poll]

Yes Tithy, you are an arrogant bastard.

33% (2)

I agree, there is something wrong with this.

50% (3)

I'unno.

16% (1)

Total Votes : 6

(last vote on : 10/18/2009 7:34:29 PM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Message

tithdaeron -> Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 5:46:15 PM)
It seems to me that holding high standards for oneself and one's associates is almost a social faux pas as of late. Is it just me or has anyone else noticed this? In a way this goes along with forming an opinion. People in general (in my opinion GASP ) seem to be becoming much more week minded, narrow in scope, and submissive in spirit (not in a BDSM context). It concerns me very much. So to my F/friends, I put the question, am I alone in this view on things?

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 5:50:47 PM)
Holding oneself to high standards, and choosing associates that will allow one to progress to meet one's own expectations is not, in any way, wrong. However, a measure of tact and civility will help to smooth the way -- in other words, it is not rude to hold such expectations, either for oneself or others... but it -may- be rude, and more, to tell someone else that the reason one is not associating with hir is because xhe does not meet one's standards. While honesty is a valuable commodity, poorly expressed it may also be a weapon -- or may generate undesired social awkwardness, at the very least. Also, if you are hoping for any kind of reasonable input to support your premise from the poll you created, you might want to consider adding an option for people to agree with you that high standards for oneself and one's associates are -not- wrong. Dame Calla

VeryMercurial -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 5:53:51 PM)
I have high personal standards for myself, and my partner. There is nothing wrong with having high personal standards at all. In fact, most people's standards are too low.

DesFIP -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 5:59:40 PM)
What do you mean by weak minded? I have high personal standards for myself and those I associate with. If I was spending my time with those who had standards I could not accept, it would be my fault for choosing to associate with them. And I would suggest you rethink your equating submissive with weakminded and low morals. It is not a way to gain friends and influence enemies, nor get you a submissive if that's what you think of them.

tithdaeron -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 6:04:40 PM)
Some clarifications: Submissiveness and weak mindedness in my first post is NOT used in the context of a BDSM relationship, but rather in the context of one's own opinion, forming of said opinions, and the knowledge (implied or actual) to do so. I find that many people around are willing to believe anything they read or hear and form opinions. There is not any fact checking. They submit themselves to other's opinions, whether they be malformed or not. To me this equates laziness, which is a personality weakness.

porcelaine -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 6:14:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tithdaeron It seems to me that holding high standards for oneself and one's associates is almost a social faux pas as of late. as a child i was taught that i could never be everything to everyone. if you allow people to pigeonhole you and force their ideas and social customs upon you they will. we possess a filter called the brain and it should utilized to sift through data to determine what is fitting and what isn't appropriate. i can't foist my standards on other people. they are going to live their lives according to their belief system. my decision is whether it can coexist with mine or if we are simply too different to relate in ways i deem important. the only person that can truthfully hold accountable is the one i see each day in the mirror. it is generally much easier to affiliate with those with similar values and shared interests. of course there's no guarantee that changes won't occur on our side of the fence or theirs. where i find myself in disagreement is in the need to assign negative connotations to those who think and feel differently about themselves. what i may consider less than may be more than adequate for their needs. there has to be a bit wisdom applied and a willingness to accept that our opinions are somewhat subjective where others are concerned. i'm of the belief that you need various types to make the world go round. everyone isn't going to be ethical, overachievers, nor desire to stand out either. people are people and we must be willing to extend the same tolerance we desire for our choices and lifestyles to others who think and live differently. porcelaine

tithdaeron -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 6:17:10 PM)
Thank you for your well thought out and well written reply porcelaine, I'll spend a good deal of time pondering over it.

LadyPact -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 6:20:11 PM)
I couldn't answer the poll, because My personal answer isn't listed. Mine would have been a resounding NO. I know My personal standards are high. I'm very well aware of the fact that a lot of people don't live up to them. I expect more out of Myself than anyone else would ever expect of Me. When it comes to others in My intimate life, I absolutely want the cream of the crop.

tithdaeron -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 6:27:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I couldn't answer the poll, because My personal answer isn't listed. Mine would have been a resounding NO. I know My personal standards are high. I'm very well aware of the fact that a lot of people don't live up to them. I expect more out of Myself than anyone else would ever expect of Me. When it comes to others in My intimate life, I absolutely want the cream of the crop. Maybe I should have worded the poll answers better, I wrote them in after having written my post so the context is kind of backwards. I believe you are looking for the second option.

DemonKia -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 6:39:50 PM)
FR, after read thru The historical base seems skimpy. Compared to when? You seem to be making an assertion about the current direction of the general culture . . . .. So, I'd say, how do modern Western people's gullibility compare to the gullibility of the earlier Western Civ masses who believed in all kinds of magical thinking stuff, for instance? At least the quality of data people believe in unthinkingly is getting better, in my opinion. Historically, from a big picture perspective. & there's a severe limit in how much the individual can know directly; a large part of amassing a significant body of knowledge is relying on outside sources. Nor can any individual come close to knowing everything, knowledge is perforce distributed & we share in it . . . . . After all, it would really suck if we all had to discover all the knowledge of history, from scratch, all by our little lonesome selves . .. . . I studied calculus & I think asking people to originate that material is maybe a little excessive, but maybe my standards are slack? [:D]

DesFIP -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 6:40:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tithdaeron Some clarifications: Submissiveness and weak mindedness in my first post is NOT used in the context of a BDSM relationship, but rather in the context of one's own opinion, forming of said opinions, and the knowledge (implied or actual) to do so. I find that many people around are willing to believe anything they read or hear and form opinions. There is not any fact checking. They submit themselves to other's opinions, whether they be malformed or not. To me this equates laziness, which is a personality weakness. Then why use the term in a place where you know most people will misread it? Beyond that, not everything needs to be questioned. I don't feel the need to decide for myself that taking potshots at people from high balconies is wrong, I can just accept that. Plus it's kind of ironic that in a place where all the submissive minded types don't question what to do, you want them to. We have here a perfect example of not questioning everything, because it ruins the dynamic. I do accept his opinion. I don't feel it necessary to challenge him on everything. In fact there are lots of people I don't feel it necessary to challenge. The doctor who looked in my ear and diagnosed an infection for example. I felt no need for a second opinion. I don't challenge my lawyer or the accountant and lots of others. It sounds as though what you're really upset about is that people are accepting other people's opinions instead of yours. You can't demand the right to tell them what to do, you have to earn it.

Wolf2Bear -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 6:46:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tithdaeron Some clarifications: Submissiveness and weak mindedness in my first post is NOT used in the context of a BDSM relationship, but rather in the context of one's own opinion, forming of said opinions, and the knowledge (implied or actual) to do so. I find that many people around are willing to believe anything they read or hear and form opinions. There is not any fact checking. They submit themselves to other's opinions, whether they be malformed or not. To me this equates laziness, which is a personality weakness. The personal standards I hold myself too are mine and mine alone. They have evolved to be at a level which I wanted them to be which I consider to be acceptable for me alone. If people view my opinions to be lazy or weak, that is only because they do not realize that I use a great deal of self restraint and plenty of tact in order that I do not alienate everyone in my life. Time and experience has shown to be a wise path to follow.

Level -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 7:29:25 PM)
Good question, OP. No, there isn't anything wrong with standards. Not letting those standards to cause you to look down your nose at others can be the tricky part. Having said that, yeah, people that just believe whatever they're told [:@]

DarkSteven -> RE: Are high personal standards wrong? (10/18/2009 7:31:38 PM)
High personal standards are not wrong. Too-high personal standards are. As are too-low standards.

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