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Gauge -> The Real Laws of Life (3/6/2006 12:26:58 PM)
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>
> Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your
> nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
>
> Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
> accessible corner.
>
> Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
> proportional to the stupidity of your act.
>
> Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
> signal.
>
> Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
> had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
>
> Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
> will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
>
> Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
> rings.
>
> Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
> increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
>
> Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
> work, it will.
>
> Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
> the reach.
>
> Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the
> aisle arrive last.
>
> Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
> will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
>
> Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
> they will have adjacent lockers.
>
> Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
> landing face down on a floor covering are directly proportional to the newness
> and cost of the carpet/rug.
>
> Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
>
> Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you
> are talking about.
>
> Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.
>
> Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
>
> Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will
> stop making it
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