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Being Honest - 10/20/2009 8:16:37 PM   
TouchMyFlame


Posts: 2
Joined: 10/16/2009
Status: offline 		I don't know how else to say it.........

Life has shaped me, the same way it shaped you.  I have been bent and straightened, heated, cooled, painted, and on and on.....  and what is left is incomplete. 

You Dom's, the ones fortunate enough to have your One, how empty would your existence be without the one who is what you can never be?  The weakness to your strength, the softness in your rock-solid self.  Your One begs for punishment, begs to be bound, yearns to be hurt and teased and suffered because you cannot be.  You are as incapable of being harmed as they are of refusing harm, and as such you are whole.  You both invite the onslaught, one because it cannot hurt and the other because it must hurt.

I don't have a question, or a statement, or even a topic.  This is just how I am, how I see things and how I feel when I am truely honest with myself. 

I am who life made me, as you are who life made you. 



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RE: Being Honest - 10/20/2009 8:47:58 PM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		I would offer only one small disagreement with what you say. I love My one,  and appreciate him, in large part because of his strength. He has the strength that counterpoints My own, the strength to kneel without fear, and accept My will. Were he to meet My strength with weakness, he would be consumed, and I would not lose him so, even to Myself.

As for the rest - I would be incomplete without My complement, just as he would be incomplete without his. That is the way of what it is that we do, no matter what our roles, and one of the main reasons I refuse to see any orientation as superior to any other.Without Me, this part of his life would be empty. But without him, so would Mine.

(in reply to TouchMyFlame)
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RE: Being Honest - 10/20/2009 9:55:10 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		The only part I would disagree with is the whole concept of " one". Some of us aren't meant to have a " one". Some of us are cut from a different fabric and are only complete with more than one " one".

Maggi
15 NZ points and growing

(in reply to Miyani)
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RE: Being Honest - 10/20/2009 9:58:35 PM   
Annabelle83


Posts: 55
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Tulsa, Oklahoma
Status: offline 		Exactly! I saw something someone posted that said "I think my whole purpose in life is to love others." And that is what I think I am here for and do best. While I have other aspirations, I know I do it well, and would feel trapped if I were only able to love just One.

Just my own two cents on that.

_____________________________

"It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked through understanding." ~Kahlil Gibran

15 NZ Points! Yay!

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RE: Being Honest - 10/20/2009 10:14:53 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline 		That would leave me feeling very stifled and like I was selling myself short in life.


_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*

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RE: Being Honest - 10/20/2009 10:16:59 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TouchMyFlame

I don't know how else to say it.........

Life has shaped me, the same way it shaped you.  I have been bent and straightened, heated, cooled, painted, and on and on.....  and what is left is incomplete. 

...

I am who life made me, as you are who life made you. 



Was it all done *to* you? 

Have you played no active, influential, even creative part in becoming who you are?



(in reply to TouchMyFlame)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 1:11:00 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		I am not half a person. I am whole regardless of whether I share my wholeness with another.

Mastery is of self. Part of self mastery is gaining the wisdom of surrender. Both polarities of control and surrender are within every person. It is simply a matter of degree.

(in reply to TouchMyFlame)
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RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 4:42:28 AM   
oceanwynds1


Posts: 53
Joined: 10/20/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

I am not half a person. I am whole regardless of whether I share my wholeness with another.

Mastery is of self. Part of self mastery is gaining the wisdom of surrender. Both polarities of control and surrender are within every person. It is simply a matter of degree.


i have to agree with your post. If i cannot master myself, who can? There will be times when a person will share their life with someone as in a D/s, M/s or what ever type you have, as well as vanilla. There will be times no one is there to share it. But imho if i am not living my life to the fullest with or without someone, then i have refused what opportunties come my way. Today is not a great day, but i see it as an opportunity in my forever lessons of mastering myself.

(in reply to aldompdx)
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RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 5:49:20 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		While she means a great deal to me and is a pivotal part of my life and I would not be at all anxious to wake up tomorrow without her I was not living the empty existence that you allude to before she came into my life. Nor was she before she met me. I think that's the best part of our relationship and why we fit so well together - we were not hollow shells waiting to be completed by someone else before we met one another. That would be a thoroughly depressing way to live.




_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to TouchMyFlame)
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RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 6:00:41 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TouchMyFlame

I don't know how else to say it.........

Life has shaped me, the same way it shaped you.  I have been bent and straightened, heated, cooled, painted, and on and on.....  and what is left is incomplete. 

You Dom's, the ones fortunate enough to have your One, how empty would your existence be without the one who is what you can never be?  The weakness to your strength, the softness in your rock-solid self.  Your One begs for punishment, begs to be bound, yearns to be hurt and teased and suffered because you cannot be.  You are as incapable of being harmed as they are of refusing harm, and as such you are whole.  You both invite the onslaught, one because it cannot hurt and the other because it must hurt.

I don't have a question, or a statement, or even a topic.  This is just how I am, how I see things and how I feel when I am truely honest with myself. 

I am who life made me, as you are who life made you. 







I get very nervious when I hear one say that they need somone to "complete them. It makes me feel like they are looking for the other person to validate their existance. Why I know that another person is much desired and would truly enhance one's life, I believe you truly need to be whole before you attempt to enter into a relationship because asking one to complete you may for some, be asking too much





_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to TouchMyFlame)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 6:13:21 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Dear Touch,
You've written the beginnings of a poem.  It is lovely in that sense.
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 8:28:11 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TouchMyFlame

Life has shaped me, the same way it shaped you.  I have been bent and straightened, heated, cooled, painted, and on and on.....  and what is left is incomplete.


i don't agree with this statement. life has not shaped me. my experiences have contributed to my makeup. some occurred before i had an active voice in what was best for me, but when that changed and i became consciously aware of decision making and had some authority to do such, i bore responsibility for what occurred going forward. i consider myself a work in progress and don't see the canvas as incomplete, but more akin to something that is constantly being altered and refined.

quote:

You Dom's, the ones fortunate enough to have your One, how empty would your existence be without the one who is what you can never be?


this concept only works in films. i would hope my Owner would consider Himself fortunate whether partnered or alone. the individual is supposed to add to your life, not compensate for what is lacking. to assume that He is empty or somehow devoid because He lacks a mate is both unhealthy and has elements of codependence that i find somewhat unsettling.

quote:

The weakness to your strength, the softness in your rock-solid self.


i disagree. my strength compliments His and when melded together makes our union stronger. i am both soft and hard, and capable of absorbing hardship for Him and the sake of our partnership when necessary. we both lean on the other, it isn't one sided.

quote:

Your One begs for punishment, begs to be bound, yearns to be hurt and teased and suffered because you cannot be. You are as incapable of being harmed as they are of refusing harm, and as such you are whole.


i don't beg for punishment, but accept that physical pain brings us pleasure and i willingly invite His blows upon my flesh. whether He possessed the desire to experience the same is not important. real harm manifests itself in many guises and needn't be of the physical sort to be valid. i honestly find that mental and emotional harm wield deeper pain than their physical counterpart. i don't believe these elements make us whole. i see it in a different respect and consider Him my Shiva and i His shakti. two divine forces that function separately and create anew when meshed together. 

quote:

You both invite the onslaught, one because it cannot hurt and the other because it must hurt.


i see His pain. perhaps it isn't due to lashes or the things that i experience as His slave. but His ache is just as real as my own because He carries the burden of two. my need to suffer is made real because He needs to hurt me as well. without both pieces present the desire would go unmet.

quote:

I am who life made me, as you are who life made you.


slavery is my zen and the elixir that brings me joy. in His hands i become manifest and reveal all that remained unseen. He crafts and reshapes until what is needless no longer exists. we change and refine individually and as one. He takes pride in His work and the slave He has come to own. i am His legacy and He is my Elysium.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to TouchMyFlame)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 11:02:33 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I have posted this before, but it seems appropriate here. What you wrote, OP, was beautiful, but part of that beauty was how painfully, exquisitely flawed it was. It was raw and human, and that made it so very powerful. Now my take...

........................................................................

People discount the pain of mismatched hearts.  We force the pieces together and push so hard to make it the picture we thought it would be.  In the end, the tender detail chip away.  Our innermost being is crushed.  We crack and crumble under the compromise.  The damage never really goes away.  We call it adaptation.  We call it evolution.  It is the sum of all our brokeness instead.  When I have fundamentally changed I have admitted defeat at the hand of another who had me buy the lie that who I am is not good enough.  I have accepted that I am not right  for myself.  The power one man can weild over another!

I share my bed with someone who does not accept me... all of me.  He does not know me and derides me for being those things he just can't understand.  He scoffs at my dreams.  He scolds my desires.  He is repulsed by my fantasies.  Yet he loves me, or so he says.  How I wish that we could just drift in the blind sea of oblivion and bask in each other and forget the ugly truth, but no.  The insipid dissonance falls upon us, washes us away, and we slowly drown beneath the crush.

My rescuers pull me up and let me breathe free once again.  Acceptance is no small thing.  The warm rays loosen the grip of cold death on my being.  Solitary, free, and irrepressible is far superior to the alternative.  I don't need definiton.  I am my own validation.  I defy ill fitting conventions.  I guess his opinion really doesn't matter after all now does it?  I can just throw my head back and laugh.  I can just forgive him.  He doesn't know what he is missing!  Someone will join my dance.  And until they do, the beat and the pace are all mine to make my own art, my own vision.  

Companionship is not about completing me, for I am already whole.  Two total beings merge together to make something new.  It is a genesis, a new dawn.  It is not something greater than the sum of it's parts, as that would diminish the worthiness of those parts' merits.  No.  It is its own entity and has its own inherent value.  I am me.  You are you.  We are creation itself.

lovingpet

<<edited to add: The he in this piece is NOT my partner.


< Message edited by lovingpet -- 10/21/2009 11:04:05 AM >

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 11:20:44 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

I am not half a person. I am whole regardless of whether I share my wholeness with another.

Mastery is of self. Part of self mastery is gaining the wisdom of surrender. Both polarities of control and surrender are within every person. It is simply a matter of degree.

I cannot help but disagreeing completely with the OP..but I wholeheartedly agree with the above.


_____________________________

~Ms. Awesomeness to YOU!~

(in reply to aldompdx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 12:08:13 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TouchMyFlame

I don't know how else to say it.........

Life has shaped me, the same way it shaped you.  I have been bent and straightened, heated, cooled, painted, and on and on.....  and what is left is incomplete. 

You Dom's, the ones fortunate enough to have your One, how empty would your existence be without the one who is what you can never be?  The weakness to your strength, the softness in your rock-solid self.  Your One begs for punishment, begs to be bound, yearns to be hurt and teased and suffered because you cannot be.  You are as incapable of being harmed as they are of refusing harm, and as such you are whole.  You both invite the onslaught, one because it cannot hurt and the other because it must hurt.

I don't have a question, or a statement, or even a topic.  This is just how I am, how I see things and how I feel when I am truely honest with myself. 

I am who life made me, as you are who life made you. 



It is all very pretty and reminds me of one of those little paperbacks with the tall dark man, shirt unbuttoned down to his riding breeches, clutching some golden tressed/raven haired/whatever for that particular story.......buxom beauty close. While she appears to be near swooning in his manly embrace.

I might have believed in that stuff when I was twelve. Then I realized that there was only one person in this whole great big world I could count on. Only one person that could make me whole. Only one person responsible for my happiness..............ME!

I would love to have some luscious little morsel of femininity to call my own, bring a little more sparkle into my days and nights, be happy to suffer my evil ways......but I don't. I don't even think much about whether or not I ever will again.

I focus on being a happy and complete me. Just me. I fill my life with people and experiences that fulfill me and give me joy. I do not neeeeeeeeeeeed someone else to complete me. God forbid I EVER think that way!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to TouchMyFlame)
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RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 3:49:54 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Now LaT, darling,
You know I just adore your socks off... given the opportunity perhaps I might adore other things off, but seeing as that has not presented itself (dare I say "yet"), I truly must take exception to the following:

quote:

It is all very pretty and reminds me of one of those little paperbacks with the tall dark man, shirt unbuttoned down to his riding breeches, clutching some golden tressed/raven haired/whatever for that particular story.......buxom beauty close. While she appears to be near swooning in his manly embrace.


You say all this like it's a bad thing.  Do come spend some time with me and Tulip.  We are buxom beauty, bodice ripper sluts.

peace and passion, you deliciously dominant morsel you,
sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 3:55:24 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I would love to have some luscious little morsel of femininity to call my own, bring a little more sparkle into my days and nights, be happy to suffer my evil ways......but I don't. I don't even think much about whether or not I ever will again.


when she puts it like that it sounds so tantalizing and makes a girl say hmmm.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Being Honest - 10/21/2009 9:51:17 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 Have you played no active, influential, even creative part in becoming who you are? 


Well of course not, Noah!  Submissives are passive, ‘done to’ creatures who have no thoughts or aspirations other than those they are told to have by their “ONE”.  and until he/she comes along, they drift in the winds, doing nothing, planning nothing. They cannot create for they are not a person at all, just an empty shell waiting to be filled and made whole by the Other.   

BTW--good to see you again!

< Message edited by catize -- 10/21/2009 9:52:02 PM >

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 18
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