what does dominating a sub do for you? (Full Version)

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lucylucy -> what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/20/2009 9:10:24 PM)

This may be an obvious question, but it’s something I’m curious about. Doms, besides feeling strong, powerful, and, well, dominant, what does dominating a sub do for you? What do you miss most when you don’t have a sub? What are the most profound rewards?



DarkSteven -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/20/2009 9:57:43 PM)

lucy, there are two places that I can Dom my sub - in the bedroom, and outside of it.

In the bedroom, I get aroused by being in charge.  Plus, I get what I want!

Outside the bedroom, I just don't like to not be in charge.  Plus, there's something about me that's arrogant enough to think that I know what's best for all.



einstien5201 -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/20/2009 11:43:14 PM)

I'll agree with Steven on both those points. For me, I also have a need to protect and care for others. Having a sub lets me do that in the way that fills that need most - by allowing me to have as much control over thier life as I think is neccesary, and having them obey me even when they don't want to.



NormalOutside -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/21/2009 1:56:45 AM)

What does dominating do for me?

Good question, because it's so hard to describe. I'll go with the simple answer, which is that it is who I am, and being who I am is extremely satisfying. There's nothing worse than having to pretend you're someone you aren't. Dominating is my nature and being true to my nature feels right.



NihilusZero -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/21/2009 2:15:03 AM)

It calms me, actually.



weaselwelder -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/21/2009 2:41:24 AM)

All the above and:

It's my default position, really. I require an act of will to not at least try to assume a leadership role.



wandersalone -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/21/2009 2:46:50 AM)

I was told by someone once that it makes him feel free to be himself [:)]



allthatjaz -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/21/2009 2:54:22 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
what does dominating a sub do for you?


Dominating just anyone just because they are submissive does nothing for me but dominating the one I have connected with is an irresistible urge. The connection turns me on, giving pain turns me on, watching their reaction turns me on, following my orders turns me on and that absolute trust blows me away. To put it all in three words... Dominating energizes me.
quote:


What do you miss most when you don’t have a sub?

having to clean my own shoes!.... seriously though, if I don't have a sub I just feel incomplete.

quote:



What are the most profound rewards?

I would have to say the trust and again this incredible connection I have made with another person. The equal satisfaction and the feeling of reaching in and touching their inner spirit.



DesFIP -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/22/2009 9:30:52 AM)

I asked him this and basically all the stuff he gets from it are things I wouldn't want. But he wants things to go his way, he wants the responsibility that comes from making the decisions. Playwise, he finds it an artistic expression. Where the ropes are going, how I will look, which gag etc. It is an expression of creativity and I am the canvas. Plus of course it is sexually exciting.



Azurenightsky -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/22/2009 10:25:19 AM)

It makes me feel free. Not by chaining down another, but because I am able to embrace one of the deepest recesses of myself and say, come on, lets go have some fun. That and I never was good at follow the leader unless I was the leader....Lol=X



leadership527 -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/22/2009 11:40:35 AM)

*chuckles* OK, two different answers:

From a pragmatic standpoint, dominating Carol allows me to lead our marriage effectively and efficiently resulting in more smiles all around. And I'm officially pro-smiles.

From a much, much less pragmatic standpoint, owning Carol makes me feel like this guy. (half-joke, half-not that's got Carol and I laughing right now. But honestly, for a bit of short-hand that graphically depicts the more primal side of owning a woman it's not too bad in an over the top sort of way)



LadyPact -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/23/2009 1:04:09 AM)

As someone said earlier, it's hard to describe.  I'm going to do My best now to explain it, though I'm sure I'm going to fail miserably.

I didn't look at your profile before responding, but I'm going to guess that you are a s type.  Do you know that feeling that you get when you have someone to serve?  A sense of fulfillment that you are in exactly the right place?  Where being owned reaches inside of you and you know exactly where you are supposed to be?

Well, it's just like that, but from the other side.  Having power over someone takes Me from good to great.  That, the dynamic, and this poly family give Me more peace, contentment, and happiness than any other way that I have ever lived.

Since clip is deployed (Afghanistan) I have a pretty good handle on what I miss the most.

I miss the sound of the word "Mistress" falling on My ears.

I miss the way his forehead feels on My lips when he kneels at the door when I come home.

I miss the way he looks up at Me when he sits at My feet.

I miss a properly served drink, because he knows exactly how I want it.

I miss the play.

I miss a hundred little every day things.



I miss the boy who wears My collar.



IronBear -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/23/2009 4:57:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

This may be an obvious question, but it’s something I’m curious about. Doms, besides feeling strong, powerful, and, well, dominant, what does dominating a sub do for you? What do you miss most when you don’t have a sub? What are the most profound rewards?


Nothing! I only deal with slaves.



CaringandReal -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/23/2009 5:02:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

From a much, much less pragmatic standpoint, owning Carol makes me feel like this guy. (half-joke, half-not that's got Carol and I laughing right now. But honestly, for a bit of short-hand that graphically depicts the more primal side of owning a woman it's not too bad in an over the top sort of way)


LOL! Good one, Leadership. Pictures do tell a thousand words sometimes, don't they?



leadership527 -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/23/2009 7:41:02 AM)

LadyPact:

Awwwww, my sincere sympathy on that post. A little absence makes the heart grow fonder. A lot of it tends to just suck.



LadyPact -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/23/2009 10:32:14 AM)

Thanks, Jeff.  All I can say is some days are better than others.

Just don't let it get out that one of us femdoms might just be actual people with <gasp> feelings,  rather than that wonderful stereotype of the leather clad uncaribng bitch so prevalent in porn.  LOL.



Aileen1968 -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/23/2009 10:48:48 AM)

It makes him hard.



Azurenightsky -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/23/2009 9:24:47 PM)

It arouses me, stimulates my imagination and makes me feel whole. I haven't had many submissives and only one that I've missed(The others were informal miniature sessions for their benefit and my personal experience.) so can't answer the other parts lol



AndySTL -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/24/2009 7:35:26 AM)

Hey Lucy,

For me it is not just about the power it is that connection I have with my sub.  In my opinion submission is the strongest way of showing your love towards your Dom/Master.  So I guess what I am saying is that it is nice to have someone care about you so much that she trust you enough to give over herself completely.

What do I miss....everything from above...lol



tazzygirl -> RE: what does dominating a sub do for you? (10/24/2009 7:12:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

*chuckles* OK, two different answers:

From a pragmatic standpoint, dominating Carol allows me to lead our marriage effectively and efficiently resulting in more smiles all around. And I'm officially pro-smiles.

From a much, much less pragmatic standpoint, owning Carol makes me feel like this guy. (half-joke, half-not that's got Carol and I laughing right now. But honestly, for a bit of short-hand that graphically depicts the more primal side of owning a woman it's not too bad in an over the top sort of way)


~grins at the pic~

oh how i understand that completely!



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