Communication (Full Version)

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Surrenderwithin -> Communication (10/20/2009 10:57:10 PM)

I am sure several will pounce with a different opinion... however I would just like to share that in my personal opinion and experience... Communication and the need thereof is overrated.
Just my two cents,



Annabelle83 -> RE: Communication (10/20/2009 11:06:35 PM)

I can honestly say that I have never been an effective communicator and probably never will. Even if I could - I doubt that I would. To be honest, if something bothers me, I tend to get it over it quickly, and by the time I would work up the means to communicate an issue - I would no longer have the negative emotion(s) that were associated with it. Now, that does not mean that the experience was negated - merely that it is over and done with. Of course, there have been times that Maggi has stepped up to the plate and communicated something for me, because she knows this.

I have a serious guilt complex, so no matter what the situation is, I will end up feeling that it is my fault. So why make matters worse when I know that I will end up that way? Of course, this is all applies to negative feelings in reference to communication.

Even when it comes to positive, I am not good at it.

Thing is, my relationship seems to work fine as it is. There are moments where the communication flows and I am able to express myself as I feel. But it is rare - but enough.

I kind of agree - but know that some level of it is necessary for a relationship to work.



Surrenderwithin -> RE: Communication (10/20/2009 11:10:24 PM)

"I kind of agree - but know that some level of it is necessary for a relationship to work", thus sayeth the Annabelle.

I agree. This is why I stated that I feel it to be overrated not inessential.



porcelaine -> RE: Communication (10/20/2009 11:21:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

Communication and the need thereof is overrated.


i believe there are many ways to communicate and being fluent in them never hurts. there are moments when words cannot be found or they merely get in the way and add confusion to situations that may already be difficult. the varying modes of expression can be refreshing for those that experience discomfort in articulating their concerns. i'm even a proponent for silence during challenging times when continued dialogue would prove to be destructive. however, there are moments when it is necessary to reach out and talk. how two people choose to do that is up to them.

i have witnessed the horrors of failed communication and seen things unravel before my eyes. leaving me hurt, confused, and disheartened. the value of communication can be taken for granted until that opportunity no longer exists. it is then we realize how much was never said or should have never been uttered.

i can't say that i'd ever wish to do without this either. i'm not a mind reader and attempting to guess or draw assumptions doesn't make me comfortable. i have been way off the mark before. i can think of nothing more touching than when someone comes to me during their weakest moment with all that is bubbling inside and extends a hand. i need you never sounded so good.

porcelaine



aldompdx -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 1:07:03 AM)

I did not hear what you said.



Santoro -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 2:56:19 AM)

I believe communication is of infinite importance; however I am perhaps the world’s foremost advocate of the one word sentence believing communication is not limited to speaking and/or writing.



littlewonder -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 3:33:36 AM)

For me communication is of the utmost importance. I'm not a mindreader. I don't expect my partner to be either. Without it I would have no clue about much of anything and I find that when I'm around those who do not communicate I am completely lost.



lucylucy -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 3:54:38 AM)

Communication is crucial to me, but I don't think it has to be verbal. Body language, for example, is mighty powerful, and really intense sex with someone I have a deep and honest relationship can be an act of profound communication for me.



oceanwynds1 -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 4:11:53 AM)

Communication for me  now is a must. One thing I have learned is if i am not listen to regarding how something has effect me, then i am really not being honor for who i am. At this moment i am very raw emotionally due to the lack of communication, so will not write a lot about this. Communication is vital and know you are being heard is a blessing.



CaringandReal -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 4:18:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

I am sure several will pounce with a different opinion... however I would just like to share that in my personal opinion and experience... Communication and the need thereof is overrated.
Just my two cents,



It's hard to pounce on something that is wispy in its outlines or unsolid, well, cats and laser pointers aside! ;)

Can you give some details about why you think that way? I'm not sure what you mean.



CaringandReal -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 4:25:09 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Santoro

I believe communication is of infinite importance; however I am perhaps the world’s foremost advocate of the one word sentence believing communication is not limited to speaking and/or writing.



And what word is that? :p



DesFIP -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 4:30:29 AM)

I'm not a mind reader. And we've had a couple of major fights that afterwards we have always discovered shouldn't have occurred if only both of us had been able to express what we were feeling.

Beyond that, like oceanwynd, I need to be heard. If you ignore what I say, then you invalidate me. I'm not willing to be in a relationship where I am invalidated, ignored, pushed to the sidelines. There are two of us here, and both of us must have our needs met, both of us must be happy to be here or the relationship ends. And for me to be happy, I must be acknowledged. He doesn't have to agree with me, but he must acknowledge me.

With that said, there are times better for talking than others and times when verbal communication must take a back seat to a wordless, physical reassurance of love. I am not a practitioner of not going to bed angry, I much prefer going to bed and holding each other for however long it takes to go to sleep, having been calmed by that wordless hour long hug. And then when you're calmer, and able to verbalize you do so.



ncbabe -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 5:11:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

I did not hear what you said.


:)



IrishMist -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 5:17:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

I am sure several will pounce with a different opinion... however I would just like to share that in my personal opinion and experience... Communication and the need thereof is overrated.
Just my two cents,


Sorry, but communication is very important. Whether it be verbal or non-verbal, you can not effectively interact with other people without some form of communication at all times.



subtlebutterfly -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 5:18:31 AM)

Some are talkative and some aren't. Even though you may not communicate with them in words you constantly do it through your actions so I'd say it is not overrated, you just aren't aware of the constant "subconscious" communication which goes on.



ranja -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 5:22:08 AM)

sometimes you can talk till you are blue in the face and get nowhere
sometimes actions speak louder than words



Acer49 -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 5:24:31 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Surrenderwithin

I am sure several will pounce with a different opinion... however I would just like to share that in my personal opinion and experience... Communication and the need thereof is overrated.
Just my two cents,


I will speak only for myself when I say communication is very important. For those of you who do not feel the need, well as long as it works for you, that is all that truely matters



slaveluci -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 5:27:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
He doesn't have to agree with me, but he must acknowledge me.

YES! I have said this to Master on more than one occasion. "You may not agree with me, you may not change Your mind and You may not even really see my point. But, please, just hear it and then decide." And He does. That is vital to me. Just being heard and truly listened to makes all the difference, regardless of the end decision........luci



oceanwynds1 -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 5:28:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

sometimes you can talk till you are blue in the face and get nowhere
sometimes actions speak louder than words


Action to me is a major part of communication. When words don't match the actions they are communicating something very important to you.



eyesopened -> RE: Communication (10/21/2009 5:30:31 AM)

Talking is overrated, in my opinion, but communication is of utmost importance to a relationship.

It was only by communicating that Inked Master and I found each other, by communication we grew to know each other, through communication we discovered compatibility.  By communication we became Master and slave, and by daily communication we love each other more ever day.  We don't always talk a lot but we communicate constantly.



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