RE: Need to know (Full Version)

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antipode -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 1:25:10 PM)

quote:

Should I tell the Dom


You should do two way traffic and have a profile on.



Padriag -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 1:51:54 PM)

Personally, I'd simply walk away.  From him, her... the whole thing.  Some might appreciate being tipped off, but many wouldn't an you never really know until its too late.  If you feel you must do something, I'd set up an anonymous email account and simply email him a link to the profile... let him figure out the rest... and then I'd still walk away.



DavanKael -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 2:17:11 PM)

Someone is trying to stir up drama...OP, I think that is your motivation.
  Davan



sirsholly -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 2:22:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Someone is trying to stir up drama...OP, I think that is your motivation.
Davan
the thought occurred to me as well. Perhaps the op does not want to share?



DesFIP -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 3:22:58 PM)

Ignore it. It may be an old profile that she's never updated. Since she's poly, she may have the right to look for others just as he does and it's easier to list as single and then explain. And she may be temporary with him, him understanding that if she finds someone she can wholly commit to, she will.

You could ask how exactly their relationship works, how yours will work, why there are discrepancies - if there are.
But tattling is opening a can of worms you do not want to get into.

And are you sure it's the same person. I know people on different sites with very similar screen names who are different people. "Cutesub 107" and "Cutesubby 293" could well be different people, you never know.



DavanKael -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 3:43:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Someone is trying to stir up drama...OP, I think that is your motivation.
Davan
the thought occurred to me as well. Perhaps the op does not want to share?



Would not be the first person to enter to a plural situation with the hope of making it dyadic, that's for sure. 
  Davan



GraciousLady -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 3:51:15 PM)

There are 3 sides to every story. In this case, his, hers and the truth. Have you considered he may not have been totally honest with you? He is telling you she is all his and perhaps their agreement is something different? In any case why do you want to get involved in their mess? There is apparently something wrong in their relationship. Perhaps if you were closer to him you might make mention of it but to say something under these circumstances is just drama.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlathrt

I posted this in another forum, but I want to get a Dom/Dommes take on this. I was recently talking to Dom and was supposed to be in a poly relationship, however I found out his sub has a profile on a site that lists her as single, and I don't think he knows about it. Should I tell the Dom, confront the sub, or just throw this little tidbit of information away in the circular file???




LadyChallene -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 6:31:53 PM)

Personally I would not bring it up to either of them. It's not your relationship. You run the risk of making each of them see that they are not communicating with each other. Or if they both know about it and still presenting themselves as a 'poly' relationship, then it's not the healthy type of relationship that I would want to a part of. But like others have said, and I agree with, I don't know them from Adam.

But that is only My opinion.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Need to know (10/21/2009 7:07:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlathrt

I posted this in another forum, but I want to get a Dom/Dommes take on this. I was recently talking to Dom and was supposed to be in a poly relationship, however I found out his sub has a profile on a site that lists her as single, and I don't think he knows about it. Should I tell the Dom, confront the sub, or just throw this little tidbit of information away in the circular file???


It's none of your business.



sunshinemiss -> RE: Need to know (10/22/2009 9:54:36 PM)

If it bugs you this much, why are  you staying involved in this? 
People create what they have in their lives...

that.
includes.
you.



Kapenakpua -> RE: Need to know (8/29/2010 1:02:05 PM)

definitly "file 13", shred it - then burn it , put the ashes in the toilet and flush twice.



littlewonder -> RE: Need to know (8/29/2010 1:17:02 PM)

personally sounds like too much drama to me. I'd not mention it at all and walk away from both of them, the entire situation.



LadyPact -> RE: Need to know (8/29/2010 1:20:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kapenakpua

definitly "file 13", shred it - then burn it , put the ashes in the toilet and flush twice.

In this case, the toilet seemed to have backed up and brought back ten month old poo.  This thread was dead and buried.  Not much need to dredge it back up.



KatyLied -> RE: Need to know (8/29/2010 1:46:43 PM)

Yeah, do not bump it unless there is new drama to report!  [:D]



QuirkyAnne -> RE: Need to know (8/29/2010 4:43:54 PM)

Profiles on the internet can be a very tricky thing and unless you have the ability to read the sub's mind to discern her exact reasoning for listing herself as single, then stay out of it.  There could be all sorts of reasons for it being listed there.  Perhaps she no longer uses that site and hasn't updated it in months, possibly her family member or co-workers know about that profile and it could jeapordize her familial or work reputation if she listed herself as poly/swinger, maybe his and her definition of "single" in the poly world isn't the same as yours, etc. etc. etc.

Whether she's doing something "wrong:" or not, if you barge into the situation like a second grade tattle tale, it could cause drama for them and  possibly lose the goodwill that they and others in your circle of friends have for you.

Stay out of it.



ResidentSadist -> RE: Need to know (8/29/2010 9:54:26 PM)

It's poly, it is your business.
Always seek the truth from the source. 
Ask the sub what the deal is... and take it from there.



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Need to know (8/29/2010 10:21:19 PM)

As an ethical poly person I would ask him if she knows. If not, RUN!



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