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Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 9:57:26 AM   
MMagic


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline 		So I'm up and my brain is going a mile a second and I'm thinking of the most AWFUL situation for a sub to be in, (females in this case) Any subs have this happen to them? Find out your pregnant after you've broken up with your Dom? If you haven't, how would you handle said situation?  Would you call them? Abortion? (yes I said the A word) keep the kid and not tell? Tell them? What about other things, STDs? Would you call and share with them? Interested in hearing your replies.

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 10:02:11 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline 		you present a scenario that is not at all exclusive to submissives....

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 10:16:06 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		It's a life experience thing, not a s-type problem.
You would deal with it just like you would regardless of orientation.

And why only focus on the negative life of a person?  I don't get that when so many great things are experienced as a submissive person.

the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 10:33:47 AM   
MMagic


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

you present a scenario that is not at all exclusive to submissives....


I always feel like I'm in the presence of a celebrity when you respond to my posts Sirsholly, lol.  And do tell? And to Darcy and the Dark, it's human nature to share when negativity happens.  Most don't come to share positive things, though I HAVE in the past.  I just thought this was very interesting because of a chat I had with my sub sister from another mister.  What could be the most horrible thing that could happen to us beings subs and this was it.  While I realize Dommes can have this happen, I guess my thinking is because of the dynamic there, the Domme is in control in a sense...I could be wrong. Been wrong before, will probably be wrong several times today.  Any more thoughts?




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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West



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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 10:45:52 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		When it comes to bearing and raising children, I'm one of those seriously old fashioned types. If someone gets you pregnant, they have a right to know. If you choose to have an abortion, I don't think the potential father has a right to stop that, but he certainly should be allowed input. If you choose to raise the child, every effort should be made to include the father in the child's life.

I'm somehow pro life w/o being anti abortion. I feel abortion should be an option out there, since mistakes do happen no matter how pro active you are with birth control. Having said that, aborting a child will take an emotional and spiritual toll, and in my opinion, it should.




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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 11:07:40 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MMagic

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

you present a scenario that is not at all exclusive to submissives....

What could be the most horrible thing that could happen to us beings subs and this was it.  While I realize Dommes can have this happen, I guess my thinking is because of the dynamic there, the Domme is in control in a sense...I could be wrong. Been wrong before, will probably be wrong several times today.  Any more thoughts?


If you have broken up, then there is no control.
If you are pregnant by mistake or pick up an std, then there is no control.

From my POV - pregnancy isn't the 'worse' thing that can happen for all s-types.

the.dark.



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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 11:16:17 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		I cannot understand why this is being entwined with submission and domination. Many get pregnant after they break up with their partner. Whether you want to have the baby or not is your choice and has nothing to do with submission or domination in my opinion.
If you are afraid you might have infected him with std or be infected with std by him you should tell.
If I was dead on having an abortion I would not let him know since it's my body. If I decided to keep it, it's definitely his right to know and would be stupidity otherwise. He can then decide whether he wants to be involved of the upbringing or not.


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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 11:16:23 AM   
VirginPotty


Posts: 11624
Joined: 7/16/2008
From: Virginville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MMagic

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

you present a scenario that is not at all exclusive to submissives....


I always feel like I'm in the presence of a celebrity when you respond to my posts Sirsholly, lol.  And do tell? And to Darcy and the Dark, it's human nature to share when negativity happens.  Most don't come to share positive things, though I HAVE in the past.  I just thought this was very interesting because of a chat I had with my sub sister from another mister.  What could be the most horrible thing that could happen to us beings subs and this was it.  While I realize Dommes can have this happen, I guess my thinking is because of the dynamic there, the Domme is in control in a sense...I could be wrong. Been wrong before, will probably be wrong several times today.  Any more thoughts?



Oh good grief, don't tell her that!!
What she meant I 'm sure is that  females are left barefoot & pregnant all the time in the vanilla world too. Handle it like you would if this happened to you as a vanilla. Just because you're a sub does not make this situation unique.

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 2:00:46 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		I think a more sub specific and also awful situation would be this : a young girl enters a TPE M/s relationship, moves in with her Master and assumes all the the responsibitities of a housewife minus the kids and the ring. Master provides her with everything she needs. She doesn't work. She flourishess in this situation for a decade or more then something happens. Master passes away or finds a younger slave and wants to release her. She has no career, no experience, no savings and since she was never married to her Master she has no means of finacial support. What are her options? Halfway house? Womens' shelter. Its kind of grim isn't it?

This has actually been on mind lately. I may start a new thread.

< Message edited by Hierodule -- 10/21/2009 2:01:59 PM >

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 2:25:34 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I always feel like I'm in the presence of a celebrity when you respond to my posts Sirsholly


If you are referring to that You Tube sex tape...it wasn't me! It was someone that looked like me, and talked like me...but was not me, damnit!!! Besides...it was filmed without my knowledge.


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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 3:31:35 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Of course you tell him. The child deserves to have two involved parents. Now if you find out and go immediately to terminate the pregnancy, you may not feel up to telling him. Especially if you don't think he'll be supportive of your choice.

But if he's a good guy and you just weren't compatible then he ought to be there driving you to and fro, mourning the loss of the dream that failed with you.

If you propose to keep the child, see a lawyer. All kinds of legal ramifications here.

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 3:37:18 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		I would think your Master/Dom-type falling into a lava pit in front of you might be one of the most horrible things that could happen to an s-type.  Particularly if you pointed to it first and said, "what's that?" and he leaned in to get a better look.

Or having him contract a disease and die.

Or getting hit by a bus and dying.

Or leaving you for your best friend.

Or leaving you for your mother.

Pregnant and single?  Nope, I'm thinking that doesn't even rank up there in the top ten.

CheerfulCali


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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 4:28:25 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

I think a more sub specific and also awful situation would be this : a young girl enters a TPE M/s relationship, moves in with her Master and assumes all the the responsibitities of a housewife minus the kids and the ring. Master provides her with everything she needs. She doesn't work. She flourishess in this situation for a decade or more then something happens. Master passes away or finds a younger slave and wants to release her. She has no career, no experience, no savings and since she was never married to her Master she has no means of finacial support. What are her options? Halfway house? Womens' shelter. Its kind of grim isn't it?

This has actually been on mind lately. I may start a new thread.


It's still not sub-specific.   Plenty of people do this and find themselves in that position regardless of sub/slave type relationships. It's still man with woman stuff.

agirl

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 4:41:30 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		This has absolutely nothing to do with bdsm or d/s or any other title you wanna give it.

This happens in life in general to women all over the world, every minute of every day.

If it were me I'd wonder how my tubal had failed me first off. I'd be in shock.
Then I would tell him and then we would decide where to go from there together even if we aren't together anymore. It's still half his imo.
If I was not able to locate him, if he had disappeared off the planet, then  to be honest...I'd probably abort. At this stage in my life I just can't ever see me having another child nor would it work in my current life at all. I think I would do a disservice to that child.
It's definitely not something that would be easy to do but life rarely is.

As for this situation:

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

I think a more sub specific and also awful situation would be this : a young girl enters a TPE M/s relationship, moves in with her Master and assumes all the the responsibitities of a housewife minus the kids and the ring. Master provides her with everything she needs. She doesn't work. She flourishess in this situation for a decade or more then something happens. Master passes away or finds a younger slave and wants to release her. She has no career, no experience, no savings and since she was never married to her Master she has no means of finacial support. What are her options? Halfway house? Womens' shelter. Its kind of grim isn't it?


Still has nothing to do with bdsm.

She would do like other women do...get a job and get her life back on track.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 10/21/2009 4:43:42 PM >

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 8:20:36 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples

Having said that, aborting a child will take an emotional and spiritual toll, and in my opinion, it should.



I've known women for whom it took no toll. Nor should it have. You don't have the right to legislate morality for everyone else.

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Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 8:40:59 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		I can think of situations way worse than this. I say you hold your head up high deal with this in a way that supports your overall ethics and morals and move ahead in your life.

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 9:13:48 PM   
TheGaggingWh0re


Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		Guh D:
If Master left me and I was pregnant, I don't know what I'd do. I love him so much that to terminate something that is a part of him and I would kill me, but at the same time it'd be torture to see and be around him constantly or to have a reminder of what we once had. I think I'd terminate. I'd terminate and then crawl in a hole and turn into a crazy cat lady.
However, if he DIED and I became pregnant? Keeping it! I've thought about this already and have what I consider the ultimate Master plan! I'll keep those plans secret on account of not wanting to get committed :P

STDs...well. If I had them and he left...I'd invest in a BOB and do the cat thing. If I had them in general? We'd stop being poly immediately and suffer through it together. Unless he gave it to me from another source.

Woo! And who knows. I may find myself in a situation (not likely, but anything is possible) and decide an entirely different course of action. I'll never know unless I'm there, and to be honest? I'd just rather not know. :)

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/21/2009 10:03:47 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~
If I found out after my Dom & I broke up that I was pregnant w/ His child, I would handle it the same way I would if it were a vanilla relationship.  Of course, it happening at all would be a miracle in the face of my hysterectomy.  haha  In my opinion, there are far worse things that could happen than that though.  Sir dying & it looking suspiciously like a murder comes to mind.....

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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/22/2009 7:17:21 AM   
MMagic


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: MMagic

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

you present a scenario that is not at all exclusive to submissives....

What could be the most horrible thing that could happen to us beings subs and this was it.  While I realize Dommes can have this happen, I guess my thinking is because of the dynamic there, the Domme is in control in a sense...I could be wrong. Been wrong before, will probably be wrong several times today.  Any more thoughts?


If you have broken up, then there is no control.
If you are pregnant by mistake or pick up an std, then there is no control.

From my POV - pregnancy isn't the 'worse' thing that can happen for all s-types.

the.dark.




It's not the pregnancy that we thought was worse, it was the thought of being pregnant and not being WITH said Dom that was the worst thing. Pregnancy in itself is a wonderful thing. I was referring more to the SITUATION.


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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West



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RE: Pregnant and Domless and other craziness... - 10/22/2009 7:20:46 AM   
MMagic


Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

I think a more sub specific and also awful situation would be this : a young girl enters a TPE M/s relationship, moves in with her Master and assumes all the the responsibitities of a housewife minus the kids and the ring. Master provides her with everything she needs. She doesn't work. She flourishess in this situation for a decade or more then something happens. Master passes away or finds a younger slave and wants to release her. She has no career, no experience, no savings and since she was never married to her Master she has no means of finacial support. What are her options? Halfway house? Womens' shelter. Its kind of grim isn't it?

This has actually been on mind lately. I may start a new thread.


This is indeed horrific, but we were thinking of our own age group and possible situations..someone needs to start a possible sub pitfalls site or something, lol. Anyone willing to start it up? I own a hosting company so I'll host...any takers? lol. (I am joking please no one take me seriously about this site business)


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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West



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