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RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/22/2009 2:26:51 PM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

And of coursse there's the D/s theoretical component... that what the bottom wants/desires doesn't matter anyway, because as long as the Toppy person is happy, then that's all that matters.  Personally, not a theory we subscribe to, but still, others do, so it warrants mention.


that's important and one of the reasons i ask questions so i don't get into something that will have me very unhappy later on. someone once told me that he did not perform oral sex on women. of course he enjoyed receiving it himself. my spool started to spin but i could only respond by saying wow. then i imagined the longevity of living that way and i started to groan instead. it would never fly.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/22/2009 2:58:23 PM   
DavanKael


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Status: offline 		Compability can either be inherent or developed and st be maintained if it's to endure. 
  Davan

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RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/22/2009 4:27:21 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

And of coursse there's the D/s theoretical component... that what the bottom wants/desires doesn't matter anyway, because as long as the Toppy person is happy, then that's all that matters.  Personally, not a theory we subscribe to, but still, others do, so it warrants mention.


that's important and one of the reasons i ask questions so i don't get into something that will have me very unhappy later on. someone once told me that he did not perform oral sex on women. of course he enjoyed receiving it himself. my spool started to spin but i could only respond by saying wow. then i imagined the longevity of living that way and i started to groan instead. it would never fly.

porcelaine



Groan, or sob uncontrollably?!!



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RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/22/2009 5:19:23 PM   
Lucienne


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Joined: 9/5/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Incompatible: You get off BIG TIME when you're on top, but he'd much rather pound your ass from behind.


Selfish, selfish, selfish. No reason you can't do both.

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RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/22/2009 5:42:13 PM   
porcelaine


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Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Groan, or sob uncontrollably?!!


*lol* the groan was more than enough. i can't live that way. i'd be an irritable bitch.

porcelaine

< Message edited by porcelaine -- 10/22/2009 5:43:00 PM >

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RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/22/2009 6:08:20 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		For me sexual compatiblity is tied into physical, mental and spiritual compatiblity. When I'm attracted in all those ways to someone the more I sexually desire them which leads me wanting to have sex with them as much as possible and it means we match in the areas of sex...size, fit, kinks, fantasies, what turns us on.


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/22/2009 9:03:16 PM   
Elipsis


Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline 		It's not about performance, experience or skill... it's about enjoying the same sorts of play, having the same interests fetish-wise, and wanting to experiment with the same sorts of things.

I don't even care if she is bad at something, maybe I will be too.  It's more about a common desire to explore each others interests and figure things out together.  The desire and interest is the most important thing to me.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 10:23:40 AM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

Groan, or sob uncontrollably?!!


*lol* the groan was more than enough. i can't live that way. i'd be an irritable bitch.

porcelaine


But then again, I know women that *gasp* dont like oral sex. I know, I know. But they would be well suited to him. So hence, compatibility.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 10/23/2009 10:24:05 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 10:43:04 AM   
porcelaine


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

But then again, I know women that *gasp* dont like oral sex. I know, I know. But they would be well suited to him. So hence, compatibility.


we should have a chit chat with them or set them up with a girl instead.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 11:41:24 AM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elipsis

It's not about performance, experience or skill... it's about enjoying the same sorts of play, having the same interests fetish-wise, and wanting to experiment with the same sorts of things.

I don't even care if she is bad at something, maybe I will be too.  It's more about a common desire to explore each others interests and figure things out together.  The desire and interest is the most important thing to me.



That sums it up for me. Sex is an adventure that we both enjoy to the same degree.

It's important to US because we have a VERY sexual relationship. I find him incredibly sexy and he finds me sexy. I haven't the first idea what makes us that way about each other but it simply comes down to what Elipsis said above........we are just interested in each other in a very sexual way.

If we had missionary sex every night, I'd still be trembling with anticipation. It's all about him.

agirl

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 11:41:30 AM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		And what if they've been with girls and still don't care for oral sex. Some people just get nothing out of it regardless of the one whos doing it.

We need people out there not to like oral sex so it leaves more for the ones that do lol.


quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine



we should have a chit chat with them or set them up with a girl instead.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 12:03:52 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

There is a lot of talk about sexual compatibility or lack there of. How does one determine this?

You're asking Us to define what is sexually attractive to Us. Honestly, We've never really been able to put a finger on it... some people just are and some people just aren't.

quote:

Do you not enter into a relationship because someone is lacking in some of these areas or do you terminate a relationship because someone can no longer meet the expectations of sexual involvement?

It depends on the kind of relationship. If they are going to be Our lover, then sexual compatibility, including sexual attraction, is a must. slaves may or may not be sexual partners. We would like to think that, should Spirit require sexual activity as part of the slavery process, Spirit would also make them sexually attractive to Us.

quote:

How important do you feel sexual activity is in a play relationship or a committed long term relationship?

In a play relationship, sexual activity is not a necessity. In a committed, long term LOVE relationship, it is a must for Us. In a committed, long term Ms relationship, it is not.

Master Fire


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RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 12:25:56 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

And what if they've been with girls and still don't care for oral sex. Some people just get nothing out of it regardless of the one whos doing it.

We need people out there not to like oral sex so it leaves more for the ones that do lol.


i never thought of it that way. *lol*

i just want someone that's severely depraved. i like a lot of things that cross the line of what some perceive as normal or acceptable. so if he's okay with this and willing to indulge i'm a happy girl. the budding masochist in me says why stop there? let's see how low we can go together. when i'm looking at compatibility i'm considering much more than oral sex. that little bit wouldn't matter if i couldn't have my perversion. that is much more important to me.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 2:06:59 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		I like depraved stuff too,I also agree it's fun to see just how depraved you and a willing partner can be or go, and I don't get anything out of it, not because of any lack of depravity, I was exposed to a lot of sex stuff as a child  oral sex being one of them, so a lot of it's now been there done that, it does nothing for me.  It's kind of like how you can over dose on a particular kind of food, and then it doesn't thrill you any more, it's just ho hum. Or it can be I know it's not like that for every one.

All though sometimes the control aspect of me over him if I had a sub and could demand it, just because, for  oral sex does light a nice fire in my imagination sometimes.




quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

[

i never thought of it that way. *lol*

i just want someone that's severely depraved. i like a lot of things that cross the line of what some perceive as normal or acceptable. so if he's okay with this and willing to indulge i'm a happy girl. the budding masochist in me says why stop there? let's see how low we can go together. when i'm looking at compatibility i'm considering much more than oral sex. that little bit wouldn't matter if i couldn't have my perversion. that is much more important to me.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 5:41:05 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

All though sometimes the control aspect of me over him if I had a sub and could demand it, just because, for  oral sex does light a nice fire in my imagination sometimes.


that's the beauty of being property. you're really at that person's mercy in many ways. my response is simple. yes, or i'm waiting for the consequences of anything else without a very convincing reason attached. it takes all the guesswork away.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/23/2009 10:24:55 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		 I am to bossy and pushy and head strong and to big of a switch  to ever want to be property, or even a submissive, except maybe I could do submissive to the right person, there's only been 2 people, that I really wanted to sub to, The first one, we were never had the chance to do real life since he was 500 miles away and to busy to put the time in , and the other, he had to many issues with guilt and morals about wanting to dom someone to take what would of been offered, and then years later, we ran into each other online and I confided that at one point I hoped he would of wanted to be my dom and he said i know but I had to many issues at the time to do that.

Nothing quite like knowing the opertunity was there and someone let their insecurities make the op pass them by lol.


quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine


that's the beauty of being property. you're really at that person's mercy in many ways. my response is simple. yes, or i'm waiting for the consequences of anything else without a very convincing reason attached. it takes all the guesswork away.

porcelaine


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/24/2009 3:30:11 AM   
whtUwant


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/8/2009
Status: offline 		"Anitipode,  wrote:


I am completely unaware of there being a lot of talk about this subject - and that is not for want of reading. I tend to think that use of the term "sexual compatibility" in forums is mostly confined to those that spend their days posting, and those that attempt to write rulebooks and dictionaries for all aspects of life (and dare I say, analyze to the exclusion of actually going out and living it..).

Even as an analyst and researcher, I can only tell you there is no such thing as "sexual compatibility" any more than there is a "food compatibility", "locomotion compatibility" or "left nostril compatibility". It is all down to the way people work their lives. "
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me
" are you crazy?"   who has been lying to You?? you have never been turned  off when meeting some one? visual means alot in sexual attraction,   food compatabilty? <laughs> there so many deits out there "because" of food compatiblitys!  and food sensitiveity, how about being allergic?    <laughs>  as far as locamotion, ever hear of sea sickness? train motion sickness?,  makes me wonder where the hell You have been in life!!

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/24/2009 5:43:31 AM   
SirJ40


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/21/2008
Status: offline 		For us, I believe it's more related to our perception of the person. Someone who might not be initially all that "interesting" sexually may become more desirable as we get to know them.. as their personality is revealed, they can become more interesting or desirable based on who they are, rather than simply how they look.
Certainly, physical attraction is necessary, however we've found that as someone becomes more interesting and enjoyable on a personal/personality level, they can become more appealing on a physical level. There's no doubt that (for instance) a nice set of boobs can get our attention, but it's not the "be all and end all".
It's long been said, for example, that an ability to make people laugh is a huge asset- things like that can definitely alter someone's perception of you, and it is these kinds of things, rather than a purely physical attraction, that I feel can create an enduring mutual desire.
Obviously, at the very first, your tastes and chosen activities might be different.. I also think that "compatibility" would be related to a mutual willingness to try (within your own boundaries) things that the other enjoys, to pay attention to their responses, and learn to use those responses to more accurately render the experiences that the other will enjoy. Over time, I feel that people can become more "compatible" as they understand their partner(s) better, and learn to intuitively do or say the things that they enjoy.
It's a beautiful thing, when it's so developed.
That being said...sometimes, sexual compatibility just... doesn't happen. You might find someone attractive, intelligent, fun, and interesting.. but when it comes to the bedroom, for some reason... it just doesn't fly. We are humans... we can be so very unpredictable.
Also, as we learn about someone, the things they do, the ways they are outside of the bedroom can also negatively affect how you view them as a sexual partner. The funny, intelligent, witty, enjoyable person who later reveals that they like to drink themselves into a coma on a regular basis can lose a lot of their appeal that way, if their partner doesn't find that acceptable or attractive.. just as an example.
Ultimately, I believe it is highly dependent on the willingness of each party to adjust their methods/activities/preferences to each other... as you do, you learn to be more in tune, and your compatibility can grow.


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/24/2009 6:18:14 AM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

My checklist is pretty straight-forward.

[ ] I love the woman in question.

That about covers "sexual compatibility" for me.



Wow!! That's just beautiful.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Sexual Compatibility - 10/24/2009 6:35:40 AM   
sblady


Posts: 433
Joined: 9/28/2007
Status: offline 		I sought someone who was had the same values. I also wanted someone who would allow me to explore areas that aren't necessarily mainstream and could satisfy those "urges".

I feel that sexual activity could be important if that's the main focus/goal of the relationship. For example; if I wanted someone who could go like the Energizer bunny 5 days per week, that's the sort of person I'd look for. Of course I want whomever I'm with to be able to keep me satisfied. However, if there's a time when either of us are unable to satisfy the other sexually, I'd think that our relationship is strong enough to keep us together. Thankfully, I'm not in a relationship where sex is the main focus.

I'd never terminate a relationship if they lost the ability to satisfy me sexually. I'd hope the person I'm with would care enough to find ways to satisfy me as I'd do the same for him.


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Profile   Post #: 40
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