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Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 1:03:07 PM

sodsta

Posts: 246
Joined: 7/19/2006
From: London, England
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I was thinking the other day about bisexuality and how it applies to the way people view the different genders in regards to play.

For example, specifically when it comes to kink and BDSM, do you view men and women (and all the genders in between) differently in terms of how you would play with them? Do you have a gender preference when it comes to play partners, even if you identify as bisexual or queer?

I ask because I know several self-identified bisexual Dommes who have said that while they are definitely sexually attracted to women and have been or would like to be sexually intimate with a woman, they would have no interest in dominating or playing with one.

I was curious to know if other people have similar feelings when it comes to playing and gender preferences. Even if you identify as bi or queer, when it comes to playing, is there one gender you prefer over the other/s?

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 1:06:27 PM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
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From: Not your hood
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Technically I'm bisexual..but I would never submit to a man, nor dominate him.

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 1:13:20 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I'm straight, but I engage in S/m with both genders. (Though people would swear that I was bi when I play with females.)

There are some forms of play that are gender specific. Kind of hard to do CBT on a female, unless you want to consider all genital torture the same. There are areas that I only play with one gender because only one interests Me. (Sounds is a good example of this.)

The great advantage of playing with those of My same gender even though I'm straight is the fact that it's right up front that it is not an experience that is going to end in a physically sexual conclusion. This can be beneficial for those bottoms who want to play, but have that concern if they play with a male top. We can focus on the thrill of S/m alone.

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 1:16:56 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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i'm straight and will play with a woman if the mood strikes or my Owner desires it. play as in sexually, i was bisexual years ago. i will never bottom to a woman. the mere thought of such makes me putrid. but i'd gladly top her in a heartbeat. as for men, they're fodder for both ends of the spectrum, though my preference is submission. i have no desire for other men to dominate me, but willingly engage in other bodily use if my Owner wishes.

porcelaine

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 1:58:57 PM

TheGaggingWh0re

Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
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I'm not in it to top anyone. Blegh. Totally not my latte.

Any gender has equal opportunity with me. I can envision any on top.

I think I answered that question correctly?

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 1:59:32 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Yes. I prefere to bottom to men and top women. I prefere relationships with men and friendships with benefits with women. I don't really ever see myself in the same type of male female romantic relationship with another woman. However I am equal opertunity and if I liked them and they liked me, I'd have sex with them or bdsm activities with them regargless of gender, or orientation when it comes to kinky play.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sodsta

I was thinking the other day about bisexuality and how it applies to the way people view the different genders in regards to play.

For example, specifically when it comes to kink and BDSM, do you view men and women (and all the genders in between) differently in terms of how you would play with them? Do you have a gender preference when it comes to play partners, even if you identify as bisexual or queer?

I ask because I know several self-identified bisexual Dommes who have said that while they are definitely sexually attracted to women and have been or would like to be sexually intimate with a woman, they would have no interest in dominating or playing with one.

I was curious to know if other people have similar feelings when it comes to playing and gender preferences. Even if you identify as bi or queer, when it comes to playing, is there one gender you prefer over the other/s?

(in reply to sodsta)

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 2:14:34 PM

afterforever

Posts: 315
Joined: 6/12/2008
From: Belfast, NI
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I'm bi, and submit to men and women in pretty much the same way. I can't imagine ever wanting to top a woman, I was ordered to do it once as a bit of an experiment and I was complete pants and miserable the whole time. I don't have any preference when it comes to play either, although there are few enough Dommes in Ireland without trying to find a bi/lesbian one.

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 3:01:52 PM

Wolf2Bear

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Joined: 9/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The great advantage of playing with those of My same gender even though I'm straight is the fact that it's right up front that it is not an experience that is going to end in a physically sexual conclusion. This can be beneficial for those bottoms who want to play, but have that concern if they play with a male top. We can focus on the thrill of S/m alone.

Overall I do agree with this. I identify as gay and overall the manner in which I play does have distinct differences. When I am playing with a female top, there is no expectations for any sexual overtones and the energy is of a nature which is born from the pure S&M play were are engaging in. Though when I play with another gay male dom, that sexual aspect is always present, we both know there is a possibility that the S&M play can and may take a more sexual overtone which does lend to a great experience which is different from playing with a female dom. One is not better then the other, each creates it's own unique energy dynamics which we both quite enjoy and makes that play session unique and pleasurable

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 3:06:23 PM

sunshinemiss

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*checks the following boxes:

Bi (although generally I self identify now as a straight but not narrow)
play with men and women (bottom only)
sex with men and women

So there was a wonderful gay man that I'd run into every now and then and he'd play with me just enough to get me weak and whimpering and then send me on my way to ... do... whatever I needed to be... ummm... fulfilled.

That was hot.

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 3:20:33 PM

sleazybutterfly

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I am bi, but I have no interest in subbing to a woman. I have no idea why this is, maybe because it's just my kink, or perhaps I haven't met the right woman. It's just been this way for me from the beginning. I have learned one thing in all of this though, never say never. I am pretty open right now, so this would be the time I would consider it most. It would have to be someone special, but I won't sub to anyone that isn't special anyway regardless of sex. :)

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 3:24:58 PM

pyroaquatic

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Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
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My preference is of the female gender for both sexuality and play. I could accept a male top/master/whatever if their was another female in the room...................... dot dot dot as my Owner.

And she had the final say on things. :3

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RE: Bisexuality and same-sex play partners - 10/23/2009 6:48:50 PM

CaringandReal

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I'm not sure what you mean by playing. I'm just looking for a mutually satisfying relationship, not a play partner. But in the realm of what I'm looking for, I look for a certain type of personality, not a particular gender.

About the only thing I can add to this is that there are some agressive vanilla gay/bi women whose personalities spark an immediate attraction, but I don't go there. I did that once years ago and learned the hard way that aggression does not equal dominance or kink.

Of course there are a ton of vanilla males out there who are also aggressive, but they don't catch my interest they way the women do.

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