CaringandReal
Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: littlewonder
antipode: That's just simply not an option right now as I stated before. So I'm looking for other ways to toughen my skin..callous it, make it rougher, harder...something, anything to at least make it a little easier.
agirl: What I mean by not tolerate is that I can't make it pleasurable no matter how hard I try because I just want to crawl out of my skin. It just hurts like hell. I think we're both a little dissatisfied. I would like for him to get his sadistic pleasures and he would like me to be able to at least be able to stay in place without breaking cuffs, ropes and accidently hitting him with a foot or hand or hurting myself in the process from a reflex. It's frustrating knowing that years ago I could take a lot of pain but now I can hardly take any at all.
He's not tying you up right if you're doing that. From the way you describe the ease with which you thrash, it sounds like he's loosly spreadeagling you. Instead he should be tying your limbs together and close to your body with lots and lots and LOTS of loops of rope (chains are a bad idea if you go gonzo, you can't help but self-injure against steel), ankles, calves, above the knees, and several spots on the arms, perhaps tying them to your sides, and then securing you in one spot on short leads so you can't roll off something or fall down. Think mummy--with just the good parts exposed, at least for a while--until you grow accustomed to pain again.
As for making it plesaurable, aim for tolerable at first. Do something to deeply relax first. A glass of wine can work wonders if you imbibe and it's physically safe for you, but do whatever helps _you_ to relax. Hot bath, hilarious tv show, massage, heavy workout, great music, whatever does that for you. If relaxing is a problem for you at most times, it's pretty easy to obtain a short-term perscription from a doctor for a mild anti-anxiety pill. And they work to relax you and make you not care so much about what is happening, and without any of the mind-dulling effects of alcohol. If you're not a super addictive personality, they don't cause a problem and can help you over a short period where's there's lots of pressure.
There are also mental techniques. Focus on a task, often the one that's assigned is deep, regular slow breathing (but you could also do counting or saying the alphabet backwards). It's better if your partner orders you to do this. If you are ordered to keep that up during the entire seesion and not lose track of what you are required to do no matter what happens, it helps wondefully to focus your mind on something else. After all, it's so easy to screw up and forget to breathe or have it grow irregular under physical duress. You really have to concentrate. As you breathe in and out tell yourself lies: I accept this, I like this, it feels great, I accept whatever he gives me, it's wonderful, etc. If they make you laugh, all the better! Laughing is relaxing. Eventually if you tell yourself this enough, these become truths.
Finally, people don't have to be whipped in one standard way, with stroke following stroke following stroke. There are all sorts of very fun whipping games you or your dominant can invent in which you have to do something in-between the whips, and that give you a little time break between the strokes. Time for the last cut to die down before the next one begins.
_____________________________
"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo
"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris
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RE: Toughening up skin - 
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