RE: Love and Long-Distance

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 1:31:30 PM

OrionAndi

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Wow, wish I saw the blog suggestion sooner!! That is a fantastic idea!!

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 1:54:13 PM

Tinkerer

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Keep your head on a swivel and remember to duck, LPslittleclip! If you see any of my fellow leathernecks there give them a "yut" for me.

There has been a lot of good advice given here. I'll just add my $.02

SomethingCatchy and I don't have the money to call each other every day, but we do try and talk on instant messenger daily, and we keep a private blog for the other person to see. We also make it a point to send the other person pictures of where we are, what we are doing, and ourselves. We talk about things we wish want to do when I get back, how our day has gone, and just about anything that comes to mind.

Some things we've found we have to be careful with: emotions and sarcasm don't carry well over text and the phone. Also, it's impossible to stop drifting apart some when you are away for a long time. Keep in mind when you reunite both of you will have forgotten a surprising amount about the other person, not to mention both of you will have changed a little. There simply isn't anything that can replace being there, living with the person.

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 2:02:22 PM

Lucylastic

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I dont know how much you pay for calls, and Ive just recently given up my landline, but I have family and friends in the UK and I just bought a subscription with skype to call the UK landlines and mobiles for 6$(can) a month. It means I make all the calls, but its a damn site cheaper than a landline would be.
I know the US and Canada pack is 2.95 a month(canadian price) it costs more to text but calls are free once you have paid that subscription, I think its up to 1000 minutes a month or something.Check it out.
Disclaimer I neither work for, or have shares in skype:)

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 3:26:27 PM

DomImus

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We have an LDR. It doesn't involve long military deployments or an ocean between us - we're only 200 miles apart. With work and family commitments we spend every other weekend together on average. It's tough being apart no matter if it's a few hundred miles or halfway around the globe. What makes it easier for me is always having the next visit planned - whenever that may be - to have something to look forward to. We also talk on the phone once or twice a day but we are on the same cell carrier so the minutes are free.

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 4:33:33 PM

whiteslavebitch

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The only reason I was able to tolerate a long distance relationship was because I knew it wouldn't always be long distance. If I never saw light at the end of the tunnel, I would not have been able to handle it. Having an established relationship that went long distance would make me crazy.

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 5:53:22 PM

littlewonder

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Are one of you planning on moving near the other? If not then unless you're planning on keeping it completely online or only seeing each other once in awhile and having other partners in the meantime, I don't really see it working. Sorry.

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 7:13:53 PM

StoneFox

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We're already very much real-time. The problem is that I'm moving away. I thought that was expressed in the original post?

I think the most important thing for our relationship (aside from the multitude of useful tips) hat I've read here, is the question of "is there a light at the end of the tunnel?". I can't say if there will be. I mean...maybe he'll meet someone else and decide to be exclusive with them. I'll be sad, I'll be devastated...of course! But in the end, I guess we'll have to want eachother equally bad to make this thing work and even to THINK of a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 7:24:44 PM

LadyPact

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I'd say the answer to your follow up question is going to have a lot to do with your outcome.

When I first got clip, he was only supposed to be temporary. It was only when the time that we were all in the same location ended that it was decided that it was going to be a permanent, albeit a LD for a while thing. If somebody involved didn't want an eventual outcome, I would have released. I'm pretty good about being patient for a while, but not forever.

From your posts, it sounds to Me that you aren't especially wanting to let go of the second male in your life. This may be too personal of a question for here on the boards, but how are the two males feeling about it?

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 7:49:15 PM

StoneFox

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When you got clip, did both of you intend it to be temporary or was it mostly just one or the other who desired temporary?

My mate understands my need for a D/s partner. We've been together a long time and are moving together. My switchy companion lives in LA and will remain behind. He seems OK with the sort of poly/open situation I have going. I just got back from a week with him. It went well but emotionally, I'm haing a hard time. Maybe because in coming home, it really reinforces the fact that it was the last time I'll see him for a while?

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/26/2009 8:30:04 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: StoneFox

When you got clip, did both of you intend it to be temporary or was it mostly just one or the other who desired temporary?

Originally, the intent was for it to be temporary. When I met him, he was in My location for nursing school through the military. At the beginning, the understanding was that when school was over so was the dynamic. (It's also part of the reason that I named him clip.)

quote:

My mate understands my need for a D/s partner. We've been together a long time and are moving together. My switchy companion lives in LA and will remain behind. He seems OK with the sort of poly/open situation I have going. I just got back from a week with him. It went well but emotionally, I'm haing a hard time. Maybe because in coming home, it really reinforces the fact that it was the last time I'll see him for a while?

I know the feeling. LOL.

That's exactly how the temporary situation became...... not exactly temporary. By the end of clip's year at school, the bond was already there and neither of us wanted to give it up.

Around that time is when MP approached Me about what preferences I had for him after his year of Korea. Normally, I don't mess in MP's career, but he gave the options to Me. Before that, I had no idea of how to eventually make this all work out. I'm definitely a light at the end of the tunnel person. I can't do indefinite limbo.

My advice to you is to see where everyone stands on this. All three of you. If you're not going to have the support of your primary, you're in for a very tough time. That's on top of your upcoming move.

Discuss how you are feeling with both of your partners. It won't be enough for just you to be the only one who wants to continue. They both have to want it, too.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/27/2009 1:31:19 AM

StoneFox

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Oh, I am surely trying. Sometimes innebriated, sometimes sober...depending on the nature of the conversation. I hate hurting them (in the bad way, not the fun way) and I think neither of them wants to see me hurt either...so it's like there's this dance to figure things out and what are the possible options that won't cause conflict. I am going to look on FL I think and try to find poly.open support groups.

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RE: Love and Long-Distance - 10/27/2009 10:47:45 AM

spookyfe

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we started long distance and moved close we used skype, second life great tool and feels much closer . also sms email facebook etc etc

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