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Energy ? - 10/26/2009 7:29:47 AM

Aneirin

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Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
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Yesterday, I attended my city's Respect festival, but I had a problem and had to leave PDQ for fear of embarrassing myself. What it was, was I had gone into one of the halls, inside the civic centre to where the none large stage displays were happening. In there was various stalls and loads of people, my problem was, that everywhere I looked and focused, I had what I know is an overwhelming emotional response which I had to fight to stop the tears. wherever I went in that display hall, the same happened, focus on something that interested, and the tears came, I left the building. Now, feelings yesterday, I felt positivety all around, people, all colours, ethnicities and spiritualities just being people, it was great, except I was not going to embarrass myself my snivelling in public, I left. A pall SMS'd me last evening and asked why I was coming out of the building with a red face and what looked like tearful eyes,l so it had been seen by others.

Now, looking back on what happened, what caused that incident, why did I do that, all I can think of, is energy, and a lot of it, positive energy, because it made me feel so happy, and there happy enough to illicit an emotional response, something I am unused to in recent years due to medication. Oh, it has happened before, I have had these feelings before, but forgot I had had them, as it was some four years since the last event where this happened, so I had sort of given up on energy, as I did not feel it as much due to the meds possibly, or I had grown out of hocus pocus.

My thoughts, well, yes, energy is back, and I feel it especially when it is that powerful despite the pills, do I go to events in the future and risk snivelling, or realise limitations and not go. But, this energy thing, hocus pocus to some, very real to others, I feel changes in atmosphere, even meteorological pressure changes sometimes, so I have to conclude it's there, but as to the happening yesterday, my thoughts are perhaps we live in so much negativity or neutrality, when something overwhelmingly positive is there, it is, well overwhelming.

But energy, as an unseen, unmeasurable perhaps theoretical something, can anyone explain it as to it's real existence or fiction ? Is it likely, my incident yesterday was energy related, if not, can you give a hint of what it might have been ?

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

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RE: Energy ? - 10/26/2009 7:50:15 AM

dreamerdreaming

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Why be ashamed of tears of joy?

If anyone thinks its not masculine: just punch them in the face, and continue on your merry way. Problem solved.

Enjoy your feelings!

Whether they're "energy", or just an overabundance of hormones, happiness, or whatever. Feel your feelings, and enjoy them!

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RE: Energy ? - 10/26/2009 8:21:30 AM

DesFIP

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Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Happy tears are nothing to be ashamed of. However, in a group that large, someone was bound to be wearing a strong perfume. So you could just have claimed allergies and then gone on about your business.

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RE: Energy ? - 10/26/2009 9:39:15 AM

Termyn8or

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Joined: 11/12/2005
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Feelings are as real as you make them. While it is up to you, being able to turn it on and off like a lamp is not all it's cracked up to be. Even switching it off, taking to rational thought and trying to be of help can be percieved as being aloof, or at least disinterested. I have been misunderstood in that way many times.

Tears of joy are not all that different than the pangs of ire, hatred or whatever. When you turn that off, goes with it the experience to appreciate joy. This gives one time to think rationally and really solve problems, but can lead to a Mr. Spock type attitude. Some may be percieved as snakes.

"How can you sit there when this dude just did this ?". "He isn't in arm's reach yet". Seriously. Once in arm's reach I would grab the MF by the neck, push him down to the floor face first without even leaving my seat. That's how I can just sit there. Additionally I like revenge served cold, so I can lay in wait for weeks or months if necessary, like a snake locked in the trunk of a car. (this happened to a buddy of mine, talk about one pissed off snake)

The realization of what emotions truly are takes the magic out of them. It's nice having that level of control, but it does come at a cost. Some might even say that those like me dehumanize ourselves. But really, I had to become just a bit less human to remain human if you know what I mean. I did not get here for free. I have contemplated suicide twice, and I mean for real. No phone calls no bullshit. Alone and not speaking a word of it. But the realization that it was I and I alone who backed out at the last minute told me something. Nobody can stop you. Take my guns, I got knives, take those I got plenty of drinkable concoctions available in the household to take care of it. It is a day to day decision to live, what to feel and what to reject and all that.

The main thing I have against drugs is that they make the growing up process easier. It was not meant to be easy and it might take until you're fifty to happen. Legal or illegal, they "take the adge off". Well as an analogy let me tell you this, if you want to stab somebody, use a dull knife, it causes alot more damage. That edge on life makes it definable, quantifiable, almost reliable.

Tears of joy are rare these days, enjoy. But know it is a double edged sword. There is no one size fits all solution. I know though that self control is the key. I can now watch the world go to hell in a handbasket.

The energy of which you speak works both ways. You can catch it or lose it. If you turn the valve off you can do neither. That is why some people can be alone in a crowd, and others become the crowd.

Do whatever works for you, the crowd be dammned.

Be well.

T

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RE: Energy ? - 10/26/2009 10:01:21 AM

pahunkboy