In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out

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Aileen1968 -> In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 5:52:22 AM)
Today is my first day of being single. My divorce was finalized yesterday morning, ending eighteen years of marriage. I'm sad, tired and just generally in a funk. And then at the same time I feel like I'm going a mile a minute. What is up with all of that? Anyone have any suggestions on how to center myself again and to start to gain control of my emotions because I hate these feelings.

pahunkboy -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 5:59:09 AM)
Jigga boo jones cheers me up. He is out of jail again. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FPRMr8HsPc warning- language. this is a radio show in LA. HUGS to you. HUGS

soul2share -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 6:12:26 AM)
First, don't make any major decisions right now. And take time to let yourself be sad...regardless of how the divorce happened, it ended a large part of your life....18 years! Be selfish......it can be a good thing! Do the things you want to do. Take time to pamper yourself in ways that make you feel better. Get used to being alone, learn to enjoy your own company....there's nothing wrong with it, no matter how much your friends tell you otherwise. Read, take up or continue with your hobbies, maybe go to school if that is what interests you. Get counseling if your feelings start to seem to overwhelm you.....there are all kinds of support groups out there. You'll know if you've been in a funk for too long. That's pretty much how I got thru it.....one day at a time. Things will improve, it just takes time. Good luck to you.

pahunkboy -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 6:15:45 AM)
I did get all the appliances when Bob left. :-) At the time that was a big deal. lol

cjan -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 6:37:51 AM)
Aileen, divorce, of course, like any major life change, is difficult. We all need to practice letting go of things as they slip away or change. That is the nature of all things. Just ask the Buddha. My impression is that you are in a solid relationship with a man who rings your bell and vice-vresa. So, I'm a wee bit confused. I'm assuming that your divorce is from your former partner and that you are still in a solid relationship. If so, rely on your man for comfort and support. Best Wishes to you.

breatheasone -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 6:42:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 Today is my first day of being single. My divorce was finalized yesterday morning, ending eighteen years of marriage. I'm sad, tired and just generally in a funk. And then at the same time I feel like I'm going a mile a minute. What is up with all of that? Anyone have any suggestions on how to center myself again and to start to gain control of my emotions because I hate these feelings. i know this is gonna sound stupid... but do "normal stuff" laundry, fold clothes, dust, etc... It helped me... talking was hard because i have a hard time keeping my shit together sometimes...So doing "normal stuff" helped me feel normal...till i was...(well "normal" being a relative term LOL[;)])

SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 6:43:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aileen1968 Today is my first day of being single. My divorce was finalized yesterday morning, ending eighteen years of marriage. I'm sad, tired and just generally in a funk. And then at the same time I feel like I'm going a mile a minute. What is up with all of that? Anyone have any suggestions on how to center myself again and to start to gain control of my emotions because I hate these feelings. Hug! Accept that you're going to have some mixed emotions about this. Take a day or two or a week (or however long it takes) and just have them. Grieve. Then take a deep breath and move forward towards the life you want to have. You have my email. If I can do anything for you let me know.

PralineFaline -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 6:54:26 AM)
When I became single I focused on doing things I enjoyed, I took up a new hobby, I socialised with friends, I kept myself busy. Hope that you are feeling more positive soon. x

RCdc -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 7:00:18 AM)
Give yourself some you time - like some spa time, shopping etc... whatever floats your boat. Ask your SO for time together if that rocks your world. Be completely selfish and mourn if you need to. It's a yuck time and a time to look forward as well. Mixed emotions that will have you up and down for a while and it's part of it all. Not the most helpful thing to suggest I know - but just go through it and come out the other side. the.dark.

VampiresLair -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 7:00:51 AM)
When I got divorced, the first thing I did was remove him from my life. I took down photos, I boxed up gifts and memories, I took off jewelry that he gave me. Getting him out was first and foremost, because I did not want to wander around and be reminded of him with things I looked at. Remind yourself WHY you are single, dont let remembering the good times push aside remembering the reasons he is out of your life. Most of all, do things you enjoy, maybe the things that you couldnt do when you were with him. Cook your favorite meal, rent a movie and watch while you eat. Take an hour long bubble bath. Read a book in bed. DV

Aileen1968 -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 7:10:17 AM)
Thanks guys.... Let's see. I'm having a tough time because I'm one of those people who is always smiling and happy. When something like this hits me I just don't know how to handle it. I do have a SO, but I am trying everything in my power to not dump all of this on him since he has all kinds of stress going on in his life too. I don't want to box up memories from my marriage because I have young daughters with my ex. He has been a huge chunk of my life. I married him when I was 23. I talk to him daily, I coach a soccer team with him and I see him physically at least three times a week involving kid stuff. It's just weird...the transition from husband/wife to just friend/co-parent. The SO is extremely supportive of me and has been from day one. I just hate that "real life" and real life stress is creeping into the relationship. I hate that he sees me cry from sadness and not from him hitting me. I'm just frustrated. Must go find a spa...

agirl -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 7:13:01 AM)
Sometimes, having the line drawn under things that you already have accepted in almost all ways, just brings you back to looking at it. Life has already moved on for you, but perhaps the finality needs a little while to lose it's potency. 18yrs is a long time and you're looking at the full-stop today. It's probably quite natural to feel something.....it was a long held relationship, after all. I'm not good at suggestions .... but perhaps business as usual will help. agirl

devilishpixie -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 7:49:27 AM)
When my divorce was finalized, i went and got a tattoo to signify me spreading my wings (an angel tattoo) and my new found sexual freedom. Then I focused on me for a long time, defining myself as someone other than "the wife". I began doing things I had not done before because he simply didn't like them or would put them down. I began to find out who I was, granted it was scary I had not been single as an adult. (I got married at 17)

pahunkboy -> RE: In a Funk and a Little Freaked Out (10/27/2009 9:15:12 AM)
I ended up moving because the apartment was always ours. But he has not been to the new place- do there are no memories. Living well they say is the best revenge. Keep smiling. I am sure I would enjoy your beautiful smile!!! :-)

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