RE: knowing one's slave

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eyesopened -> RE: knowing one's slave (10/28/2009 5:05:08 AM)
I don't know what slave-y feels like. I know what being owned feels like to me but I'm afraid it really didn't have anything to do with anything innate, I don't consider myself having "slaviness". I know I am owned because my Master has demonstrated the ability and willingness to be a responsible owner. Yes, I'm a human being, not an inanimate object, but in order to really own anything, car, property, etc, one needs to exercise responsibility for that object. Your car will be taken away and sold at auction if you don't pay any fines you may incur (or should not incur in the first place). Irresponsibility will negate ownership of nearly anything. My Master chose to own me for reasons of His own. I begged for His collar because I saw something within HIM, not within me.

agirl -> RE: knowing one's slave (10/28/2009 5:34:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eyesopened I don't know what slave-y feels like. I know what being owned feels like to me but I'm afraid it really didn't have anything to do with anything innate, I don't consider myself having "slaviness". My Master chose to own me for reasons of His own. I begged for His collar because I saw something within HIM, not within me. This is very much how it was/is for me too. Going on from that ....... it'd be quite difficult to own someone like me , if you didn't know what on earth you were owning. agirl

BitaTruble -> RE: knowing one's slave (10/28/2009 7:30:10 AM)
~FR~ There are so many areas that one can get to know and some are more important than others. It's vital that Himself knows my medical history so he can make knowledgeable decisions in that regard as well as things like food allergies etc. If he wants me to develop hives, swell and get all red and blotchy, he can do that by telling me to eat an orange. If he doesn't know that my eating an orange will do that to me, then his lack of knowledge can lead to a consequence he did not anticipate and have an undesired result for a given command. Does he need to know my favorite author or the name of the junior high school which I attended? Probably not, although I can't see where that knowledge is going to hurt anything. The trivial tidbits of me are not going to effect my service to him but he is certainly entitled to any information he wants from me. I view my lot in life as being the person who makes his life easier. Some knowledge of me is going to help in that regard so he doesn't have to assume, perhaps be mistaken in a particular assumption and actually ending up making his life more difficult.

Domitianus -> RE: knowing one's slave (10/28/2009 9:03:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sravaka quote: OK, so color me pragmatic... but I need to know the slave well enough to enslave her. laughing.... yes, but i still wonder what that means, from this the clueless side of the slash. Are there things you can get by without knowing, e.g.? Are there things you prefer not to know? I need to know enough about what makes the slave's mind tick other than just that she claims to be a slave. What mental and physical triggers evoke what kinds of responses? Where is she coming from, mentally? I have little need to know details of the girl's past (or present) except insofar as they shape her perception of and desire for enslavement, or otherwise constrain or affect her ability to serve Knowing more of the person is good...but many of those things are just the knowing of the person, not the keys to enslaving them.

LPslittleclip -> RE: knowing one's slave (10/28/2009 9:29:04 AM)
when i started in the lifestyle i didn't know what it was i wanted. now i have learned much about myself and that i actively enjoy pleasing others. i only recently had the privilege of being called my Mistress slave. as far as feeling owned i have Her collar around my neck and She says that i am owned by Her. my wife has commented that it has helped our marriage as well so it has been a learning experience for B/both of U/us as well as for our spouses. my Mistress knew my needs better than i did and has helped me further myself in the lifestyle.

sravaka -> RE: knowing one's slave (10/31/2009 10:53:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble ~FR~ There are so many areas that one can get to know and some are more important than others. It's vital that Himself knows my medical history so he can make knowledgeable decisions in that regard as well as things like food allergies etc. If he wants me to develop hives, swell and get all red and blotchy, he can do that by telling me to eat an orange. If he doesn't know that my eating an orange will do that to me, then his lack of knowledge can lead to a consequence he did not anticipate and have an undesired result for a given command. Does he need to know my favorite author or the name of the junior high school which I attended? Probably not, although I can't see where that knowledge is going to hurt anything. The trivial tidbits of me are not going to effect my service to him but he is certainly entitled to any information he wants from me. I view my lot in life as being the person who makes his life easier. Some knowledge of me is going to help in that regard so he doesn't have to assume, perhaps be mistaken in a particular assumption and actually ending up making his life more difficult. Hi Bita.... (and all) I apologize for singling you out... and yet also don't-- you are one of the posters hereabouts from whom I most delight in learning, so it's your own fault if i pick on you. (I mean, poststructuralism on the Gor boards, however long ago?? you're asking for trouble.) :-) I wonder how it felt to you when you were just getting to know your partner. The distinction between potentially perilous allergies and the name of your jr. h.s. I can see, but.... I'm more curious about the middle ground. Or maybe it's not even a middle ground. There's being understood as a slave.... and being understood as a slave plus alpha. You have your quirks, and tastes, and predispositions. You have your history. I am not wondering about all this in a "you do this for me, and I'll do this for you" frame of reference. I understand that Master comes first. As a seeking submissive, though, I sometimes find myself.... getting mushy before I should, and recognizing too late in the game that the mushiness is rather one-sided. These are not adequate words-- "mushy" sounds too emotional, and that's not really the point. Maybe this is? I imagine that the vastest part of what makes one think one has found a viable partner is simply the "omg, I want to serve this person and make him/her happy" feeling. But.... I think there needs to be some opposite (though not necessarily equal) force that says, "this is the place I belong, because I am understood, with all (or at least some) of those quirks, tastes, predispositions." Possibly subs/slaves who are more with it than I am do not feel that "Oh! I want to serve!" thing in the absence of feeling that they are wanted in return for their authentic selves. Or, perhaps sometimes they do. And perhaps sometimes it doesn't matter-- it may work out to the same end, in the end. This is what I'm trying to get at: which is true? Or are all of them true? What contingencies lead to differences? Am I making any sense? What do you do when your inclination is to <cough> be serviceable, and the world is full of idiots seeking twits? I am not a twit and do not seek to serve an idiot (separate issues). Somewhere tied up in all of this is a question about knowledge-- self-knowledge, other-knowledge, the interaction between them. I think. (Might it be something other than knowledge?) I'm not sure that anyone is looking at this thread anymore, but I do thank everyone who replied.... much valuable food for thought already.... Dare I hope you'll indulge me a little further? Best to all, sravaka

sravaka -> RE: knowing one's slave (10/31/2009 11:07:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip when i started in the lifestyle i didn't know what it was i wanted. now i have learned much about myself and that i actively enjoy pleasing others. i only recently had the privilege of being called my Mistress slave. as far as feeling owned i have Her collar around my neck and She says that i am owned by Her. my wife has commented that it has helped our marriage as well so it has been a learning experience for B/both of U/us as well as for our spouses. my Mistress knew my needs better than i did and has helped me further myself in the lifestyle. LPslittleclip--- I'd love to hear more about what your Mistress knew before you did.... I imagine (?) that that has as much to do with your feeling of being owned as the physical signs thereof? But forgive me if it is inappropriate to be curious. And please let me add.... I have a little hiccup of emotion whenever I see you post here. I speak for no one, and will say it in a confident plural anyway.... we owe so much to you, and your willingness to serve in ways that most do not contemplate. Please take care of yourself, and come home safe.

alittleevil -> RE: knowing one's slave (11/1/2009 9:20:50 AM)
quote: sravaka: How (this for subs/slaves) do you have to be known to feel owned? quote: agirl: In a lot of ways, I feel owned because I AM owned. What I mean is......the fact that I can't just up and do whatever I like is the tangible evidence that I'm owned.....and thus I feel it. Hello, Yes, it's that simple here as well. If you had asked me these questions before this particular man (Master), mastered me, i would have said that i was one who needed an extraordinary intimacy to be enslaved. That is because my previous Owner required extraordinary intimacy. He really dug "peeling"and peering into all the dark little corners of my psyche, and when their illumination caused me discomfort, i suspect he dug it all the more. And he did also enjoy my growth from this excavation, when it would occur. So, this was normal to me and thus what i expected from any man who would want to enslave me. Master, not so much. What he wants from me is service. His expectation is obedience, not abject intimacy. He gets them, not because he knows me so intimately but because he expects them and enforces and reinforces them. From the beginning he knew me well enough to know that i am enslave-able. I guess much in the manner that Nihilus Zero describes: quote: I mean, every interaction with someone is based on knowing something about them. Now, as far as actually owning them, I certainly would need recurring tangible proof that their interpretation of the dynamic as it should be mirrored mine. I'm very analytical (normally correctly, but I've drawn incorrect conclusions before), so I'm always reading the subtle 'tells' that would indicate to me if she is in a place where she is getting genuine fulfillment on a consistent basis by being/acting/speaking within the parameters I'd set. But, know every little bit about me? No, and doesn't seem to care to. It is almost an external enslavement. I obey and serve because i don't have a choice: it's that or nothing. It is all very tangible. Nothing mystical or deep or particularly intimate about it. He's not my "best friend," my lover or my boyfriend. He's my master. Now, of course, the obedience he demands is absolute, so if he wants to know something, i'm required to answer,and he's certainly available to take on any concerns or problems that i have: He heads this household and takes it as given that as the boss he is the "problem solver." But there was not a lot of the probing and peeling and "getting to know me" that i had been accustomed to. Different men, different means, different masters. Wishing you well aj

agirl -> RE: knowing one's slave (11/1/2009 12:56:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sravaka I am not wondering about all this in a "you do this for me, and I'll do this for you" frame of reference. I understand that Master comes first. As a seeking submissive, though, I sometimes find myself.... getting mushy before I should, and recognizing too late in the game that the mushiness is rather one-sided. These are not adequate words-- "mushy" sounds too emotional, and that's not really the point. Maybe this is? I imagine that the vastest part of what makes one think one has found a viable partner is simply the "omg, I want to serve this person and make him/her happy" feeling. But.... I think there needs to be some opposite (though not necessarily equal) force that says, "this is the place I belong, because I am understood, with all (or at least some) of those quirks, tastes, predispositions." Possibly subs/slaves who are more with it than I am do not feel that "Oh! I want to serve!" thing in the absence of feeling that they are wanted in return for their authentic selves. Or, perhaps sometimes they do. And perhaps sometimes it doesn't matter-- it may work out to the same end, in the end. This is what I'm trying to get at: which is true? Or are all of them true? What contingencies lead to differences? Am I making any sense? What do you do when your inclination is to <cough> be serviceable, and the world is full of idiots seeking twits? I am not a twit and do not seek to serve an idiot (separate issues). Somewhere tied up in all of this is a question about knowledge-- self-knowledge, other-knowledge, the interaction between them. I think. (Might it be something other than knowledge?) I'm not sure that anyone is looking at this thread anymore, but I do thank everyone who replied.... much valuable food for thought already.... Dare I hope you'll indulge me a little further? Best to all. sravaka I think it would be very difficult for someone like me to go looking in the first place. I don't need M/s....and he didn't need to own me. It was far more a case of ......( from my side)..* I would like to owned by him, I think my life would be much enhanced* . And (from his side).* I'd like to own her, I need to go away and think whether I have enough time and energy to devote to it. There wasn't really any discussion or feelings* about serving or slavitude because we both knew who the other person was in any way that mattered. It was more a matter of whether it would be practical and useful. It boils down to the fact that he knew who he was owning and I knew who I was being owned by. I don't put him first for the majority of the time, because if he wants to be first, then he can say so...and that's something I cannot do in this type of relationship. I generally think of myself first. He can say nah anytime he wants to and know that's what'll happen. I don't have that kind of say-so in this type of relationship. He's got a girl that asked to live with his authority over her and her life....I got a man that said he'd take that on. That's about as magical or complicated as it gets, really. agirl

LadyPact -> RE: knowing one's slave (11/1/2009 1:28:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sravaka quote: ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip when i started in the lifestyle i didn't know what it was i wanted. now i have learned much about myself and that i actively enjoy pleasing others. i only recently had the privilege of being called my Mistress slave. as far as feeling owned i have Her collar around my neck and She says that i am owned by Her. my wife has commented that it has helped our marriage as well so it has been a learning experience for B/both of U/us as well as for our spouses. my Mistress knew my needs better than i did and has helped me further myself in the lifestyle. LPslittleclip--- I'd love to hear more about what your Mistress knew before you did.... I imagine (?) that that has as much to do with your feeling of being owned as the physical signs thereof? But forgive me if it is inappropriate to be curious. And please let me add.... I have a little hiccup of emotion whenever I see you post here. I speak for no one, and will say it in a confident plural anyway.... we owe so much to you, and your willingness to serve in ways that most do not contemplate. Please take care of yourself, and come home safe. I want to thank you for your kind words here, sravaka. Many members of CM have been very supportive of clip in his deployment and I am very grateful when you and others out there let him know that. Please accept My appreciation. Right now, clip is being transferred to another location. Still in Afghanistan, but a FOB that may be a bit safer for him. We're not sure if he will still have CM access until he gets there. If not, I will certainly be passing this post along to him. In his absence, I'm going to repost something that was written on one of lovingpet's originals. It's only a quick glimpse, but it may cover at least a bit The thread in it's entirety is here http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2690038&key= and this is a partial quote: quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact The one where clip was immune was wanting to be owned. No, he didn't realize all that it entailed, but it was absolutely a driving force in his submission. It's been a part of him for as long as I've known him and was probably there in some form his entire life. It's part of what makes him who he is. I remember explaining ownership (in My opinion) to him that first time and watching his face. It was like a lightbulb that was turned on inside of him. As though someone had put into words that thing in his inner being that he had carried with him all along, but never knew how to express.

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