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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/1/2009 10:01:19 PM

Cuffkinks

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks? I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.

I enjoy marking my little girl. She belongs to me and I mark her as I wish. I don't mark her in places where everyone can see, but that's my choosing. Bite marks on her breasts or on her hip mark her as mine and I get a kick out of the fact that she's walking around with my marks on her skin, under her clothes. It's a beautiful thing to get a call from her in the middle of the workday and hear that my bite marks are still on her.
Even better if they still hurt.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/2/2009 5:01:27 AM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

Has anyone whose ever had a problem at the doctor's office, with police, friends, family, etc. ever been honest and said: " I just like rough sex?"
I imagine that may not work, but I'm curious how that panned out for anyone whose got the story to tell...

Not a problem , but I have made a brief comment that bdsm is part of my relationship when I've been on the chiropractor's table, as I have marks that are permanent now and they are perfectly visable when I'm having my knickers hoisted. Also, she got used to not bothering to try to take off
my collar as it doesn't have a catch, and can't be removed without breaking the fairly heavy chain.

People tend to take their lead from me......I'm obviously not bothered and it's clearly only of passing interest to me. She suggested we lay off the rope suspension for a while, until her work had taken effect, though .........lol. Cane marks and whip marks are hard to pass off as *rough sex* and I wouldn't even bother. I just tell the truth in a pragmatic, dismissive manner.ie..it's no big deal to me, in fact , quite a boring, mundane activity.

agirl

< Message edited by agirl -- 11/2/2009 5:02:14 AM >

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/2/2009 7:38:51 AM

CreativeDominant

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks? I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.

Hmmm, why do some many males shy away from receiving marks?

I would imagine it has a lot to do with the way society is geared. In "normal" society, a guy with marks is likely to be seen as a guy who got in a fight or who is extremely clumsy...almost anything but the true explanation...and none of the ones that "work" are all that conducive to his standing. An executive who got in a physical altercation? A cop who shows up with marks not related to the job? OR...an oil rig worker who shows up with marks that were left by someone that many think of as his girlfriend?

Even in "our world", many male submissives are not accepted as readily as female submissives are. Even in our "understanding" world, the idea that a man would let a female hit and mark them is not accepted as readily as a female who lets the same thing happen. And before anyone pooh-poohs, stop and think for a minute and tell me that you have not seen this. I know that I have, back in the days of Uncommon Ground, at least.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/2/2009 11:51:57 AM

Wolf2Bear

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PainfullyCurious

Has anyone whose ever had a problem at the doctor's office, with police, friends, family, etc. ever been honest and said: " I just like rough sex?"
I imagine that may not work, but I'm curious how that panned out for anyone whose got the story to tell...

Yes there has been a few times where I had a few visible marks and had close friends ask what I was doing! My standard reply is asking them if they really want to know. Coupled that with a look of defiance usually lets them know that unless they want all the details, they simply laugh nervously and change the subject! rarely do I need to take that type of stance as most of my close friends either know I am into rough sex/play or they know well enough not to ask questions to answers they really don't want to know.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/2/2009 3:11:12 PM

beltainefaerie

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Master and I both like marks and he leaves them when he can. He leaves them where they won't cause awkward questions depending on who I will be seeing, but otherwise, it is something we both enjoy. I was quite surprised by the number of people who don't like to mark people, but I understand the reasoning.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/2/2009 5:36:58 PM

SaharahEve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks? I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.

Hmmm, why do some many males shy away from receiving marks?

I would imagine it has a lot to do with the way society is geared. In "normal" society, a guy with marks is likely to be seen as a guy who got in a fight or who is extremely clumsy...almost anything but the true explanation...and none of the ones that "work" are all that conducive to his standing. An executive who got in a physical altercation? A cop who shows up with marks not related to the job? OR...an oil rig worker who shows up with marks that were left by someone that many think of as his girlfriend?

Even in "our world", many male submissives are not accepted as readily as female submissives are. Even in our "understanding" world, the idea that a man would let a female hit and mark them is not accepted as readily as a female who lets the same thing happen. And before anyone pooh-poohs, stop and think for a minute and tell me that you have not seen this. I know that I have, back in the days of Uncommon Ground, at least.

Don't read too much into what I wrote; it was pretty much tongue-and-cheek. But regarding PDBs, I tend to think the social outrage is greater for females to be carrying around publicly visible markings for their own concerns of beauty and for the implications of domestic abuse. That said, I wasn't speaking about marks you can't hide around the office, anyway.

As for "our world", I'm not so sure I'd agree with your overall take on male participation in submission. There are many, many men who make up the BDSM / fetish lifestyle who like being submissive, or enjoy humiliation, "feminization", strap-on, bondage and other types of role play. The dye hard masochists, imo, tend to be fewer within both sexes, but I think it's more due to the natural human tendency to avoid pain than not being seen as submissive in intimate or private social settings. Even in Public (with a capitol "P"), I'd had more men get down and kiss my feet on a busy sidewalk and many of those same men detest pain, however. That was really the crux of my comment: a good masochist is hard to find. :-( I like masochists, too. :-)

< Message edited by SaharahEve -- 11/2/2009 5:37:49 PM >

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/2/2009 7:41:18 PM

jaffa1

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mmmm interesting!!!!!

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/3/2009 10:46:32 AM

Mishna

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I, personally, love marks, and it takes quite a bit of work to get them onto me, so when they do show up, I'm a pretty happy camper. It is about trust, though. I wouldn't just pick some John Dom at a party and say, hey, could you leave some marks? However, the last time I played, I really wanted the reminder, which I still have 3 days later. :) It's about personal choices.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/3/2009 3:51:52 PM

DomImus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning
Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks? I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.

The things that I enjoy the most leave no marks. No visible marks, at least.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/3/2009 3:58:24 PM

GYPSYMAMBO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks? I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.

How many?? 2? 10? 1000? 5000?
Did you meet them?Did you know them WELL?
DId you negotiate? discuss marks?

If you are sessioning that may be ONE reason..
or casual play mates.
When you are owned it may be another situation..
it is often a sign of bonding...and ownnerhip

GM

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/9/2009 11:17:11 PM

kasumi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: deliciousmorsel

I like to be marked myself, but how those marks are made is a bigger deal than I'm seeing discussed. I've seen women who've played way too hard for years and their bodies are breaking down as well as their brains - neurotoxicity is when the body has had enough and those pain signals start chewing up your brain instead of notifying it that something's wrong. People's behavior will change, basicly it's a chronic pain situation that requires heavy duty intervention that they won't get. Theyll go nuts and turn super mean, it escalates dementia onset, and it isn't at all pretty to watch. Any off you who belong to a dungeon club have seen the vicious fat old sub who's basicly nuts? People who get there from car crashes get the exact same symptoms. But they get sent to chronic pain clinic for hefty doses of opiates. Old sub just makes other peoples lives hell.

And some people get a bruise tattoo; permanent capillary damage from things like handcuffs. I have them around my thighs from decades of cycling shorts, none of which are cut for women who leg press 800 lbs. I've also been in plenty of black eye dirt racing crashes and been questioned by police and social workers repeatedly, and that was before I found out about Men With Whips. It isn't fun. I had a team sponsor to call in and ER reports straight off the trail in dirty gear and helmet hair. If you think these things won't be noticed- guess again! And then there's scar tissue that doctors can feel, and needle marks that'll be noticed if you're into that.

Injudicious injury can raise hell, not just on your health proper but Doms in jail and you in psych treatment. Yes, courts will order that if not a trip to a head hospital. If you need a daily fix of endorphin that big, go to the gym. Daily bruisings are something you'll regret down the line if you have to quit play forever because of your health. Just have Master brand you.

Heavy marks should be special occasion things. Yeah, I think it's a drag too, but do you still want to play when you're fifty?

This post scared me, to be quite honest. And now I'm wondering just how much marking and/or pain is safe to have on a regular basis?

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/10/2009 9:41:28 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve
Even in Public (with a capitol "P"), I'd had more men get down and kiss my feet on a busy sidewalk and many of those same men detest pain, however.

There's public, and then there's public. If you mean a busy sidewalk on the streets of New York, there might be a jillion people around, but no one the guy will ever see again, or have to relate to. If you mean in front of the grocery store that's closest to his residence... that's different. It's possible to be surrounded by people and still engage in acts that, materially, are completely private.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/11/2009 7:44:58 AM

SaharahEve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve
Even in Public (with a capitol "P"), I'd had more men get down and kiss my feet on a busy sidewalk and many of those same men detest pain, however.

There's public, and then there's public. If you mean a busy sidewalk on the streets of New York, there might be a jillion people around, but no one the guy will ever see again, or have to relate to. If you mean in front of the grocery store that's closest to his residence... that's different. It's possible to be surrounded by people and still engage in acts that, materially, are completely private.

It still does not mean it's easy for many men to consider doing it at my whim. For some, the humiliation factor is still too high on their list,
because they know it's not about the streets of New York with me; they are to grovel wherever I wish, whenever I wish - - they never know when I'll snap my fingers. The setting can just as easily be Manhattan as it is a local restaurant, a town wharf, or a mall. When I say public, I mean public - - meaning anywhere.

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RE: Leaving Marks?? - 11/12/2009 5:32:10 AM

daddysliloneds

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WendyMorning

Why is it so many Doms shy away from leaving marks? I like heavy beatings and handcuff marks, they are a turn on to me.

there are plenty of answers to this question:

they don't want to have the possibility of assault on their records

they aren't paying your bills so can't send you to work looking like you were beat

they aren't raising your kids or want them to see you black and blue on accident

they don't get turned on by them like you do

they know you like it and they're in charge so expect you to be happy with what they give you...

and the list goes on and on and on.

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