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RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/8/2006 9:29:22 PM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

He enters, smiles....

'Hi all, a big wave..... Is it now that I understand why Slavejali began a thread on boundaries of discussion on boards regarding D/s M/s relationships?

I think it is unfair to flame Simply V here for posting here and yes to those flamers, put up with constuctive positive criticsim for everyone's learning- not being hypocrites yourself with immature negative judgements.

No-one is perfect and only a fool says they know everything.

A slight smuggy bow.....
Departs.

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to Knight2be)

Post #: 21

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/8/2006 9:48:44 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

My Mistress wants to take on a new sub. He happens to be my best friend and she has fallen in love with him, which in itself would be interesting to have him as a brother/sub. I however, want nothing sexual with him.

I feel somewhat like he’s stepping into my territory. I’m a little upset about it as I was 1st and think I should always be first. But those 2 want to be together.

I’m not sure what to do, should I be upset about it or except this with open arms?

With best friends like yours, who needs enimies? Nuts and bolts, nuts and bolts, you are SCREWED!!! I don't know the full story and I could care less. Save the drama for your mama. Should you be upset? Well, you already told us that you are upset so it doesn't matter what any of us think. Can you actually except this idea with open arms and like it? Apparently not or you wouldn't be bitching about it right now.

The bottom line is that your mistress wants two pups instead of one. If you can't do it, then it's time to find a mistress who only wants one pup and a new best friend.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Speedalicious)

Post #: 22

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 4:56:41 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

I think it is unfair to flame Simply V here for posting here and yes to those flamers, put up with constuctive positive criticsim for everyone's learning- not being hypocrites yourself with immature negative judgements.

Hello Driver,
In no way did I flame Simply V for posting to this thread. I gave my opinion without attacking or saying anything in regards to her charactor. Read my post again.

_____________________________

(in reply to Driver1961)

Post #: 23

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 5:39:00 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

Did anyone else catch the additional name posting...

OP is speedalicious & then his Mistress comes in & then at the bottom of page one there is a post defending V, Knight2be. It seems by the writing that Knight2be & speedalicious are the same person. If this is so... one is identified as a submissive & the other as a switch.

You guys really need to talk this out. You bring this issue to the boards asking for opinions & advice, yet when it is offered their is a hint of retaliation in your replies when no one has attacked you in any way, shape or form.

The inability to communicate effectively has been shown within these forum post & it would seem that you are all having difficulty in communication as well.

I am still of the opinion that this triad is not going to be a success... but you know what they say about opinions.

< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 3/9/2006 5:41:30 AM >

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MstrssPassion

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 24

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 5:47:23 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

Did anyone else catch the additional name posting...

Hi MstrssPassion,
Knight2b is the second submissive. He is "sub b". Speedalicious is the first submissive "sub a". Yes it does get a bit confusing.

_____________________________

(in reply to MstrssPassion)

Post #: 25

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 6:40:06 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

In this situation, does she also want you all for herself? After all, what goes around comes around. If she's fucking your best friend, how is she going to feel when you're being submissive and fucking another Mistress? Can she handle that?

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Driver1961)

Post #: 26

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 6:49:48 AM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

In this situation, does she also want you all for herself? After all, what goes around comes around. If she's fucking your best friend, how is she going to feel when you're being submissive and fucking another Mistress? Can she handle that?

good question, Sir. One i personally wonder about a lot. Will wait to see what the answers/responses might be.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 27

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 8:51:17 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

It sounds like the three of you are communcating about all of your issues and working as a group to over come them. Poly isn't easy but with lots of open communication and patience it can and does work. Speed, you shouldn't be upset about what you are feeling, but you should be totally honest and talk about it openly, that's the only way to "fix" it. Poly isn't just about sexual interaction. It seems like you are truly loved and they want to help you and be there for you. Take your time and figure out what you want and why.

SimplyV... Experience has absolutely nothing to do with. Before we decided to become a poly family we, as a couple, had no experience in it. No one does until it happens. As far as I'm concerned, I don't care if someone has been a slave/submissive for two decades... they've never served me and mine before so it's all new. So long as you and yours are willing to talk about everything and keep an open mind.... hey... dive right in with both feet and learn to swim.

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 28

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 10:59:17 AM

PlayfulOne

Posts: 1047
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyV

I have tried to refrain from posting on this thread as I wanted to leave this as an outlet for him to talk about his feelings about the situation from his perspective. Alas, I feel the need to update and reply.

I'd like to thank those of you who recommended him to talk to me about it. We had a good conversation last night after he posted this, about his feelings, worries, and insecurities. I believe we have addressed most of them and he feels much better about things now. Most of his concerns were centered around his worry that I would stop loving him. Which I don't ever forsee happening, but it will be my actions that convince him most over the next few weeks/months/years.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

Having looked at the original thread before I will say that I see a lot of imaturity, a huge lack of experience, and no thought of the ramifications to anybody in this relationship. Personally all I see is a train wreck waiting to happen.

While you claim to have read the other thread ( http://www.collarchat.com/Poof%21%25%25_You%27re_Poly%21/m_275367/tm.htm ) I did not see you reply to it. I will "confirm" your statement of lack of experience as I believe in being honest, with myself as well as others.

However, you seem to see "a lot of immaturity" and no thought of the "ramifications".. which rather than blanket statements.. I think we would find it much more beneficial if you'd explain or give some type of councel on exactly what "immaturity" you are perceiving.. and what "ramifications" we are overlooking.

Much like telling a blind man "you're blind" and not telling him about the ledge ending in front of him.

V

You may question whether I "actually" looked at the thread or not I do not really care, I am not questioning whether your judgment is bad, I am making a stament that you have bad judgement and lack maturity.

As you put it, A is in a position where he needs b to help tacke care of him, as his Mistress you should have his best interest at heart, but instead you decided to fling with b. Would even you not agree that was not the brightest of moves? So you do not know how to take care of one, so we should have two, again we are not showing wisdom. You stated ( can't remember the exact words and I am not going back to the thread to quote) something about a pwer rush, so we have the gee look at me I have two slaves thing going on, very mature wouldn't you say? You then go on to say you and A have issues, you and b have issues, A and B have issues, but we can work it out. So you also suffer from illusions. You and A must work out your issues if you can, A and b must work out theres, BEFORE, must I repeat for the dense, BEFORE, you can bring the three together and have any chance of making it work.

Between you and me, everyone who has run a poly house raise their hands, oh wait I am the only one of the two of us raising their hand. My current little one and I both have poly leanings which we discussed from the very beginning. Yet still we had two long and rather involved conversations about the subject, BEFORE, yes I said BEFORE we even let it be known we MIGHT be looking.

Yes inexperieenced, Immature, and foolish, oh and the ramifications, you have never anywhere you have written spoke of giving one moments thought to what this might do to A, only how you can make it work, and the cheers of two slaves oh glee.

Thats what I said, thats what I meant, and you've never said one thing to make me say gee maybe I was wrong.

Wreck that train baby

K

(in reply to SimplyV)

Post #: 29

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 12:03:50 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

Hold the phone, stop the press, and answer me this.

Occurding to profiles, Speedalicious lives in Washington and SimplyV lives in Texas. So how is this relationship working to begin with? Please tell me the two of you have physically met one another atleast once. Are you now living closer and one just needs to update there profile?

Knowing these things could allow me to give these two much better advice.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Speedalicious)

Post #: 30

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 1:24:42 PM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Knight2be

I think you're to quick to Judge. I don't give a rats ass on what you think of her. But watch how you flame her. My friend came from an abusive relationship, an abusive past and in the last year hes come to grips with it because of her help.

So judge all you want. But I don't see how this is helping him to start a flame fest.

Knight, let me just ask you this, are you sure you are ready to jump into a poly setting this soon after your traumatic event? It was not that long ago that you were http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=262734&key= having a problem with your X Domina's slaves. Is it wise to jump into another relationship this soon?

_____________________________

(in reply to Knight2be)

Post #: 31

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/9/2006 1:41:15 PM

truesub4u

Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

In this situation, does she also want you all for herself? After all, what goes around comes around. If she's fucking your best friend, how is she going to feel when you're being submissive and fucking another Mistress? Can she handle that?

good question, Sir. One i personally wonder about a lot. Will wait to see what the answers/responses might be.

LOL angelic... i'll put the coffee on again... this could get interresting. I for one know that... if Master decides to bring in sub B... after knowing... and agreeing to no other members... he best get use to another Dom being mixed in the salad here.... LOL

It's also nice to know, that's something I don't have to worry about though. But as others have stated.. Dom has the right to change ones mind... ok... so do I..... <grinzzz>

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 32

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/10/2006 1:29:39 AM

Speedalicious

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/26/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

In this situation, does she also want you all for herself? After all, what goes around comes around. If she's fucking your best friend, how is she going to feel when you're being submissive and fucking another Mistress? Can she handle that?

I have no reason to do anyone else as she has always taken care of my needs and I know she will continue to do so.

My Mistress V and I have talked about these issues. I am happy. I want her to be happy. I want Knight2be to be happy. I am no longer scared that she is going to leave me. Knight2be and I are roomates in Washington. When I am well enough to travel, we will be moving to Texas.

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 33

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/10/2006 4:32:25 AM

MstrssPassion

Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: West Palm Beach, FL
Status: offline

ok, you guys are living in different parts of the country & you say you will be moving to Texas when you are able to...

You still didn't mention just how much time you all have spent together under the same roof.

Only when you live with someone (or at least make frequent visits to where they live) will you ever truly know that person. I had a boy move in with me after a long distance thing. We had a wonderful 'relationship' by phone & by email & the few brief visits went very well. So I had him move to be with me. It wasn't until then that I learned about the many quirks & habits that really upset me... well that is putting it mildly... pissed me off. Within 6 weeks I sent him packing. It cost me a lot of money to do so also. I had decided to have him move in with me, which means he gave up his place where he had lived. Air fare back, deposit & security for an apartment & a little pocket money until he got a first pay check.

At least I'm a good person. I'm guessing there are more than a few people that have found themselves kicked to the bricks without so much as a bus ticket.

I will never consider anything like this again. If someone wishes to RELOCATE... well then it's all you. In fact I am pretty much soured on the whole idea of even considering meeting others from great distances. Not just because of this incident but because of a couple of rather heartbreaking situations where the distance just tore at us.

V, speed, knight... best wishes to you guys & best of luck. Everyone deserves happiness in their lives. If you three are able to truly find this within each other you are surely blessed. It will be interesting to hear from all three of you as your relationship grows.

_____________________________

MstrssPassion

(in reply to Speedalicious)

Post #: 34

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/10/2006 4:49:13 AM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

I think it is unfair to flame Simply V here for posting here and yes to those flamers, put up with constuctive positive criticsim for everyone's learning- not being hypocrites yourself with immature negative judgements.

Hello Driver,
In no way did I flame Simply V for posting to this thread. I gave my opinion without attacking or saying anything in regards to her charactor. Read my post again.

MoGa,

Sometimes I think a new thread should be started on how to comment/disagree/defend oneself with diginity. Your posts would be perfect examples. I always enjoy your thoughts and the way you are able to speak without beoming 'enflamed'.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 35

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/10/2006 5:55:11 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa

quote:

I think it is unfair to flame Simply V here for posting here and yes to those flamers, put up with constuctive positive criticsim for everyone's learning- not being hypocrites yourself with immature negative judgements.

Hello Driver,
In no way did I flame Simply V for posting to this thread. I gave my opinion without attacking or saying anything in regards to her charactor. Read my post again.

MoGa,

Sometimes I think a new thread should be started on how to comment/disagree/defend oneself with diginity. Your posts would be perfect examples. I always enjoy your thoughts and the way you are able to speak without beoming 'enflamed'.

Cloudz, thank you so much! That is awfully sweet of you!

_____________________________

(in reply to Cloudz)

Post #: 36

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/10/2006 8:17:14 AM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

He enters, dips His lid to all....

overall, Like shit from a shangai ,..................So are the days of our Lives!

Yes this whole thread distresses me, it should not be here full stop. There are many negatives here that only set it up as a confusion of BASE needs and COMPROMISABLE wants......... but I still stay and say..to those flamers, put up with constuctive positive criticsim for everyone's learning- not being hypocrites yourself with immature negative judgements. .

I apologise that if saying flamers is incorrect semantics. (those semantics of politicians again!) and I apologise for not coming back here earlier to see I had used an incorrect word. My orginal words past flamers still stand.

I too am in a poly of three. This began without my intention but after careful and open communication- my behest. Yes, the journey to date has been one of extreme and fruitful learning. W/we have learnt, grown and groaned (both good and bad groans!) Yes it is difficult to take the relationship out of playtime encounters to realtime and this means so much more open and constructive communication. Yes this original poster and subsequent of their W/we does beg the pandora's box but it is all underpinned by 'communication' of base needs and compromisable wants. This W/we has to find these and we can only assist them if we provide constructive criticism- hence failing that- This thread should be removed for the betterment of this W/we and for the betterment of others considering or currently in poly. I advise both My Precious Ones to stay clear of the 'Poly Message Boards' because of the 'abundance of negativity' contained. (My Wild's observation, my assesssment relying upon her judgement.)

My biggest clarity is that this W/we need to promptly establish their 'boundaries of public discussion regarding their relationship'

I welcome any others' thoughts contrary to mine. I learn as I listen to those that speak to/ not at me.

He bows to all respectfully, departs.

Paul, Sir to His Angel and His Wild.

_____________________________

Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to MistressOfGa)

Post #: 37

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/10/2006 11:40:48 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Fangs, I was not going to get involved in this, but I have to ask...how do you go from this (post 22):

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

The bottom line is that your mistress wants two pups instead of one. If you can't do it, then it's time to find a mistress who only wants one pup and a new best friend.

to this (post 26):

quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

In this situation, does she also want you all for herself? After all, what goes around comes around. If she's fucking your best friend, how is she going to feel when you're being submissive and fucking another Mistress? Can she handle that?

This speaks loudly to Me of "what's good for the goose, is good for the gander". What this boils down to is what agreements or understandings were put into place at the beginning of the relationship. I always leave My options open for another boy. I am not saying I would not get into an exclusive relationship, if I felt that was a good thing, and if I did so, I would keep to My committment. But do we know what the original understandings were? You proclaim your exclusive relationship and intent to have that exclusivity in your profile. Others like to keep things open to adding additional people the equation. I would hope that if decided, in the beginning, that you are not exclusive, you either agree that your girl is not either, or she would accept your freedom to choose more than one, without feeling she should go out and get her own to get back at you.
Jealousy between submissives is more common that should be. It is a fact that needs to be handled. If hurt feelings come into the picture, all one can do is communicate, communicate, communicate. If things don't work out, the ultimate decision is up to the Dominant.
I get quite perturbed when I read the "tit for tat" line. D/s and M/s are not *equal* relationships, except in the sense that both parties are getting satisfaction and happiness in a complimentary relationship that may seem out of whack to those on the outside.
In the meantime, not having read the other thread, (I will try to find it), I see that two boys are living in Washington while the Lady is in Texas. So I can only say that time is well spent in positive and constructive communication, and best of luck to all three.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 3/10/2006 11:45:07 AM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 38

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/10/2006 8:58:28 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I have no reason to do anyone else as she has always taken care of my needs and I know she will continue to do so.

My Mistress V and I have talked about these issues. I am happy. I want her to be happy. I want Knight2be to be happy. I am no longer scared that she is going to leave me. Knight2be and I are roomates in Washington. When I am well enough to travel, we will be moving to Texas.

All is well that ends well. It's great that you worked it out and everybody is happy with everyone else being happy that you're happy. It sounds like it's time to put an end to this thread. Let us know how it works out in three months. I live in TX as well. How about we all go for a drink when you get here?

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to Speedalicious)

Post #: 39

RE: My Mistress wants a new sub - 3/10/2006 9:10:24 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

All is well that ends well. It's great that you worked it out and everybody is happy with everyone else being happy that you're happy. It sounds like it's time to put an end to this thread. Let us know how it works out in three months. I live in TX as well. How about we all go for a drink when you get here?

You, Sir have a lot of class.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to FangsNfeet)

Post #: 40

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