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pixelslave -> RE: What Does It Really Mean to be a Slave? (10/30/2009 8:20:24 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sfguy1
So the sense I get from the profiles is that there are at least two kinds of slaves desired?
1) A slave that does anything for his Mistress/Goddess, but also shares a vanilla kind of relationship -- movies, cuddling, vacations, talking, etc.
To add to what GM has said, first I suggest you understand the difference between a submissive and a slave. Generally speaking, a slave will turn over all control of his life to a Mistress without question and doesn't have any limits, unless they were stated/negotiated at the beginning of the relationship. Slaves usually are considered completely owned property. A submissive on the other hand, will generally retain control over certain parts of his life, has hard and soft limits, safe words, and is more likely to also share a vanilla kind of relationship of the type you speak of. Many submissives also tend to feel owned, but usually not in the same context as a slave. I know one woman who frequently says she views herself as being owned in the same way as though she were a pair of her Master's boots. Whether or not a slave will have the vanilla you speak of, would be a matter of the dynamic that evolves over time as part of the relationship between the two; something which also applies to the relationship between a submissive and his Dominant as well.
Disclaimer: the above are general statements for comparison/reference and are not absolutes. Its really up to each individual to decide for themselves whether they're a submissive or a slave; something only they can discover on their own through introspection. In my experience, each Mistress will also have her own thoughts on what defines a slave and a submissive.
I consider myself to be a submissive who has a certain number of slave tendencies. Since the mid 90's, my on-line name has always been "pixel". The "slave" in pixelslave comes from doing computer graphics and having felt as though I was at times a slave to manipulating the pixels in images when it was necessary to work late into the night to meet a client's deadline. That's its true origin. As such, it wasn't primarily based on my being in the lifestyle; although a hint to that was intentional. However, that "hint" was never meant to be a reference that defined myself as being of slave orientation.
You might search on D/s (Dominant/submissive) vs M/s (Master/slave) relationships to get some idea of the differences that often exist between the two.
quote:
2) A slave that is a slave 24/7: maybe chained to the bed or in a cage much of the time and beaten regularly.
I'm thinking that the second kind isn't realistic, that the profiles that suggest that are teasing or playing, maybe thinking that's a turn-on.
What do you think? Are most of the situations of the "Type 1" kind?
You're right. The latter is essentially a fantasy of many men. Very few women want to have a man chained to a bed or in a cage 24/7. Of what use to them is he in that state? Instead, they'd rather have him doing something useful. They may have him sleep that way or do a scene like that for the weekend, but its certainly not the norm and is the stuff primarily of fiction or "wanking material". If a man wants that, he's likely to get it only on a short term basis as part of a scene from a Lifestyle Domme or will have to pay for it by visiting a Pro Domme; again on a time limited basis. It just doesn't happen that way for most.
As for being beaten regularly, some may include that as part of their dynamic, either for no reason, as punishment, or as part of their play. Again, as GM said, each relationship is different and what happens will depend on what the two parties negotiate between them. What works for one couple may not work for another.
- pixel
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