RE: Mistress wants companionship

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ownedgirlie -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/9/2006 5:35:43 PM)
It suited me to beg my Master's ownership. After that, i obey no matter. Whether i like it, dislike it, think it is good for me, do not think it is good for me. HE sees the big picture. If he chooses to change courses tomorrow, in a completely different direction that i do not understand at all, then that is my new direction. Yes i can ask him about it, and he may or may not explain it, based on what he feels is best. He knows what suits me better than i do. That is my slavery. ~ Hands Amayos a feather ~

Arpig -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/9/2006 5:52:26 PM)
to sum up...it suits you to obey. You can dress it up in as much flowery language as you like, but that is what you said. Nobody has said a slave obeys because they enjoy what they are being told to do, just that they obey because they choose to, because it suits them.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/9/2006 6:11:07 PM)
It is not up to me to decide what suits me.

amayos -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/9/2006 6:13:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig ShiftedJewel, it seems you completely misunderstood LA's post. She said it would be unethical to suggest the slave is forcing an "inappropriate obligation" on the master when she wants more play time. I think shifted is driving sarcastically at something deeper and more subtle. That often BDSM enthusiasts make a fetish of "playing", and not taking their relationships or roles too seriously outside of this, that an unhealthy focus on self-serving kink pervades many so-called M/s relationships. I could be totally off base, but that's how I read it, at least. quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig And Amayos, if you really do not understand that your slave obeys you because it suits her to do so, then personally I want a little of whatever it is you are smoking. Unless you have total control of her mind, then every time you give a command, she consciously decides to obey it...that is just the way things are. Indeed, from a technical diddle point of view, she can choose to disobey—and then suffer the consequences for that disobedience. The very consequences she agreed upon and surrendered to when becoming my slave. Good point in bringing up control of the mind, however. It is quite prevalent, among other more tangible and worldly methods of collateral. But speaking directly to mind control—yes, this can be and is very much a reality in my relations, as it is for others. It is as much calculated as it is loving and intimate. I suppose the annals of psychology may assist, providing terms such as classical conditioning, capture bonding and the Stockholm syndrome, just to name a few.

amayos -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/9/2006 6:23:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie It suited me to beg my Master's ownership. After that, i obey no matter. Whether i like it, dislike it, think it is good for me, do not think it is good for me. HE sees the big picture. If he chooses to change courses tomorrow, in a completely different direction that i do not understand at all, then that is my new direction. Yes i can ask him about it, and he may or may not explain it, based on what he feels is best. He knows what suits me better than i do. That is my slavery. ~ Hands Amayos a feather ~ Bravissimo, girlie. :)

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 3:53:43 AM)
quote: quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig ShiftedJewel, it seems you completely misunderstood LA's post. She said it would be unethical to suggest the slave is forcing an "inappropriate obligation" on the master when she wants more play time. I think shifted is driving sarcastically at something deeper and more subtle. That often BDSM enthusiasts make a fetish of "playing", and not taking their relationships or roles too seriously outside of this, that an unhealthy focus on self-serving kink pervades many so-called M/s relationships. I could be totally off base, but that's how I read it, at least. Ok amayos, you're starting to scare me... I didn't think anyone thought like me!

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 5:52:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie It is not up to me to decide what suits me. Yes it is. Like I aid in my other post- it doesn't mean you're blissfully happy to do everything every moment. But you have decided that it suits you to be owned and obey in this relationship. You've agreed that OVERALL LONG TERM, it suits you, no matter what short term or immediate circumstances there may be.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 5:58:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel And we all know that no one ever goes through a lull, a low point in their sex drive or interest in "playing", right? No one goes into a relationship expecting that to happen, but the truth is, it does... all the time. What "inappropriate obligation" are we talking about here LA?? It's a relationship!! If it feels more like an obligation then by all means get out now... God forbid you let emotional ties keep you from getting what you want. The inappropriate part is in telling the slave that they are bad or wrong for the shift in expectations. I don't care what the expectations are. Perhaps the relationship started with the expectation that there would be NO sex, NO play, NO socializing whatsoever. And then two years later, the mistress suddenly wants a sex and play toy everyday. It's not wrong or bad for the slave to go "whoa, what's going on" and need to re-evaluate the situation. The dominant sets up the expectations of the relationship, and needs to be accountable for their changes as well. Of course life changes everything. Expectations will definitely change over time. How much, in what areas, and specific circumstances will guide the people in the relationship to whether the situation still suits everyone or not. To give another example, say a master took a slave with the clear expectation that "If you are owned by me, you will never have children" and then 3 years later says "OK now I'm going to make you pregnant." I don't think it's wrong or bad for the slave to need to re-evaluate that HUGE change in expectations, and the dominant needs to be responsible that they are changing a key part of the foundations upon which the relationship was established.

Arpig -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 7:16:47 AM)
quote: Indeed, from a technical diddle point of view, she can choose to disobey—and then suffer the consequences for that disobedience. The very consequences she agreed upon and surrendered to when becoming my slave. She can also choose to get up and walk away. If mind control/Stockholm Syndrome is indeed what you are into, then don't call her a slave, call her a captive, or robot....or to be more accurate, victim.

truesub4u -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 7:54:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig She can also choose to get up and walk away. If mind control/Stockholm Syndrome is indeed what you are into, then don't call her a slave, call her a captive, or robot....or to be more accurate, victim. OMG.... thank you Arpig.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:01:19 AM)
quote: Yes it is. Like I aid in my other post- it doesn't mean you're blissfully happy to do everything every moment. But you have decided that it suits you to be owned and obey in this relationship. You've agreed that OVERALL LONG TERM, it suits you, no matter what short term or immediate circumstances there may be. Correct - i agreed that when i first begged my collar. After that, what does or does not suit me does not even come to mind. If i ever feel something "doesn't suit me," i bring him such concern and he deals with it as he sees fit. It is up to my Master to decide what suits both of us, and to run the relationship as such. "Yes it is?" Um, if that is your belief, go for it. A bit presumptuous for someone on a message board to determine what does or does not suit another, no?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:03:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie "Yes it is?" Um, if that is your belief, go for it. A bit presumptuous for someone on a message board to determine what does or does not suit another, no? How about this way of putting it: It suits you in your relationship that you do not decide what specifically suits you.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:06:18 AM)
quote: She can also choose to get up and walk away. If mind control/Stockholm Syndrome is indeed what you are into, then don't call her a slave, call her a captive, or robot....or to be more accurate, victim. i thought those were used as examples of mind control, not of how someone chose to utilize their ownership. ShiftedJewel - we're out here, just hard to find, lol... As for expectations - they change. Life changes. Circumstances change. If a Master kept everything "as is" without changing according to life, where is the growth in that? Decisions my Master made two years ago may not be relevant now. If i can not be flexible to adapt and evolve to the way he runs the relationship, then he needs a different slave. This does not mean i can not ask him about it - didn't we all say earlier how important communication was? Why is it everyone is now saying, "omg if things change, leave! leave!" (yes that is exaggerative)

ownedgirlie -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:07:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie "Yes it is?" Um, if that is your belief, go for it. A bit presumptuous for someone on a message board to determine what does or does not suit another, no? How about this way of putting it: It suits you in your relationship that you do not decide what specifically suits you. LOL i like it. And it is accurate.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:30:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie Why is it everyone is now saying, "omg if things change, leave! leave!" (yes that is exaggerative) I haven't said that, or implied it. My point is simply that a slave is not being bad or wrong if the relationship needs to be re-evaluated and consider that releasing the slave might be the best option if the owner makes changes to the expectations upon which the relationship was founded.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:36:06 AM)
i was being exaggerative. It just appeared to me that the most popular option being discussed was the right to leave (or evaluate leaving), rather than how to work out a slave's concerns. Maybe it's me but it seems to be a running trend on this board - slave unhappy, slave has right to leave. While i know there are far too many unhealthy or even abusive situations going on out there. i prefer to opt for communication toward resolutoin than keeping my eye on the exit sign.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:36:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie i prefer to opt for communication toward resolutoin than keeping my eye on the exit sign. I completely agree.

angelic -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:41:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie i was being exaggerative. It just appeared to me that the most popular option being discussed was the right to leave (or evaluate leaving), rather than how to work out a slave's concerns. Maybe it's me but it seems to be a running trend on this board - slave unhappy, slave has right to leave. While i know there are far too many unhealthy or even abusive situations going on out there. i prefer to opt for communication toward resolutoin than keeping my eye on the exit sign. very well said. {edited to remove a smartass remark}

Submotive -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:46:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: luckyslaveboync Hypothetically, it can happen that a sub's mistress over time loses some of Her interest in bdsm and wants a higher and higher proportion of the slave's time spent on service and companionship, which both acknowledge as important. Should the slave be patiently obedient? Express needs for bdsm submission even though this may seem topping from the bottom? Try to redefine his needs to be less erotic and more taking joy in service submission? Move on? Other advice? i look at a relationship this way - Him and me - period. The dynamics between the 2 of U/us are what concern me. Fortunately and gratefully, i have a Master Who finds tremendous pleasure in my pleasure. i have no desire to be "whatever He wants" with no consideration to me, my needs and wants as well. Does that mean i am not a slave - His property? i don't think so. i own my car - am i oblivious to it's needs? No. If i was it would not be able to serve me for very long - it would become difficult and eventually stop running all together. i believe a slave is similar in that if my needs and, as a human being and not an object, desires, are not considered and taken care of, i will become difficult and eventually stop being able to serve. It's not because i would choose to become difficult, but because i am who i am - human. Master loves my individuality and intelligence as well as my submission. The very fact that i have desires that are not always in alignment with His, is one of the things that makes my submission so beautiful to Him. However, i knew this was something i wanted and needed before accepting His collar. i am not a robot with no thoughts, feelings, desires of my own. And, for me, to be in a relationship with Someone who does not care about these things, would be hell. And so, i must return to my first statement of a relationship is Him and me period. i am thankful that there is room for both of U/us to breath and change and grow and communicate. i, for one, am not of the belief that patient obedience - no matter what - is the solution to everything. Do i enjoy serving and pleasing Him? Absolutely. But my enjoyment comes from my love for Him, not from some sense of obligation because i'm a slave, required to serve no matter what. my recommendation is to review your relationship. What kind of Mistress are you involved with and has open communication been part of Y/your relationship? Are your needs and cravings important to your Mistress, or is it only about what She wants? There is a lot here to consider. i wish you the best in your endeavor.

truesub4u -> RE: Mistress wants companionship (3/10/2006 8:58:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Submotive i look at a relationship this way - Him and me - period. The dynamics between the 2 of U/us are what concern me. Fortunately and gratefully, i have a Master Who finds tremendous pleasure in my pleasure. i have no desire to be "whatever He wants" with no consideration to me, my needs and wants as well. Does that mean i am not a slave - His property? i don't think so. i own my car - am i oblivious to it's needs? No. If i was it would not be able to serve me for very long - it would become difficult and eventually stop running all together. i believe a slave is similar in that if my needs and, as a human being and not an object, desires, are not considered and taken care of, i will become difficult and eventually stop being able to serve. It's not because i would choose to become difficult, but because i am who i am - human. Master loves my individuality and intelligence as well as my submission. The very fact that i have desires that are not always in alignment with His, is one of the things that makes my submission so beautiful to Him. However, i knew this was something i wanted and needed before accepting His collar. i am not a robot with no thoughts, feelings, desires of my own. And, for me, to be in a relationship with Someone who does not care about these things, would be hell. And so, i must return to my first statement of a relationship is Him and me period. i am thankful that there is room for both of U/us to breath and change and grow and communicate. i, for one, am not of the belief that patient obedience - no matter what - is the solution to everything. Do i enjoy serving and pleasing Him? Absolutely. But my enjoyment comes from my love for Him, not from some sense of obligation because i'm a slave, required to serve no matter what. my recommendation is to review your relationship. What kind of Mistress are you involved with and has open communication been part of Y/your relationship? Are your needs and cravings important to your Mistress, or is it only about what She wants? There is a lot here to consider. i wish you the best in your endeavor. Could not of said it better... Applauds.... standing ovation.

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