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RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 9:26:37 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

She can also choose to get up and walk away. If mind control/Stockholm Syndrome is indeed what you are into, then don't call her a slave, call her a captive, or robot....or to be more accurate, victim.


"If you can imagine it, someone, somewhere is doing it."

I don't remember where I read that.. or who posted it, but I do find it holds a lot of truth.

For me, though, it's not about mind control at all. It's about power control. The reason I cannot just get up and walk away is because I'm powerless to do so.. and will remain powerless as long as Himself holds onto the power he took from me with his ability. I am not, however, a victim, nor a robot. Should there come a time when the power slips from his fingers, that, too, will be through his will. I am his as long as he desires it. That is the truth of the relationship which we have. It's not unhealthy, it's not unbalanced. I 'need' air, food etc.. I 'want' to belong to him, to be owned by him, to be his slave because HE makes me want that and has stripped me of all other considerations. What suits me is one of those considerations which has been taken from me along with the power he holds. It's about what suits HIM. Tomorrow, he may decide that he doesn't want a slave anymore and that's something I would have to accept, but unless he releases my power, it doesn't matter what I want tomorrow.

There are several things which would cause the power to flow back to me.. all would be by HIS actions. It seems fairly simple a way to look at things, so maybe that's the beauty of it.

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 9:29:35 AM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline 		luckyslaveboy
quote:

wants a higher and higher proportion of the slave's time spent on service and companionship,


Horror of horrors! What does the cruel and evil <w> Mistress desire?

Like she wants you to take her to the movies? After you cooked dinner..then YOU had to wash a few dishes... before you escorted her on a walk in the park??

Respectfully, dear luckyboy, she sounds very, very sadistic, not to mention selfish.

PS Perhaps she will wear a long skirt. After carefully screening the Jujy-fruits by holding them up to the light of the coming attractions, must ascertain there are no yucky green ones, she will pull her glam frock around her waist and tell you: you will be her seat for the duration of the film. Oh! And that sexy lil maids outfit..under the sink. Just your size! hey! Is that a crop in the utensil drawer? yeah.. right next to the barbecue tongs and the meat thermometer. Carry her bag? Its heavy because of the chain that she plans to use to secure you to a tree... right next to the dog park.

Never know......

Gee, I thought I was resistant. OK, better draft that letter I had promised. Poor me! A sadist forces me to endure... writer's cramp? Thank you very much for your post.

< Message edited by Fawne -- 3/10/2006 9:46:07 AM >

(in reply to luckyslaveboync)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 9:35:19 AM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
It is not up to me to decide what suits me.


Dear ownedgirl: Hun <smile, no offense> You made that decision when you accepted his collar. YOU decided.. not to decide. All's good, right?

<shrug>
Best to all, fawne



(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 9:58:42 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

Indeed, from a technical diddle point of view, she can choose to disobey—and then suffer the consequences for that disobedience. The very consequences she agreed upon and surrendered to when becoming my slave.


She can also choose to get up and walk away. If mind control/Stockholm Syndrome is indeed what you are into, then don't call her a slave, call her a captive, or robot....or to be more accurate, victim.


Mind control is of course what I'm into—I don't think it's too far a stretch to say that is the case for many involved in BDSM, to one degree or another. It's important to understand it is one part of the machine, however. To suggest it stands alone as the only modifier is wholly inaccurate and simplistic.

Robot is a silly term. Victim is a relative one. I understand you're romantically proud of and viscerally believe in your way of doing things, but keep in mind many outside of BDSM would probably label your "pet" a victim as well.

Point being, we can have a rational discussion on the subject or start hurling out names and labels due to ignorance. The latter choice I will certainly not join you in.

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:05:44 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

Mind control is of course what I'm into—I don't think it's too far a stretch to say that is the case for many involved in BDSM, to one degree or another. It's important to understand it is one part of the machine, however. To suggest it stands alone as the only modifier is wholly inaccurate and simplistic.

Robot is a silly term. Victim is a relative one. I understand you're romantically proud of and viscerally believe in your way of doing things, but keep in mind many outside of BDSM would probably label your "pet" a victim as well.

Point being, we can have a rational discussion on the subject or start hurling out names and labels due to ignorance. The latter choice I will certainly not join you in.



Looks down at personal quote... bites tongue again... shakes head..

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:07:44 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Fawne


quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
It is not up to me to decide what suits me.


Dear ownedgirl: Hun <smile, no offense> You made that decision when you accepted his collar. YOU decided.. not to decide. All's good, right?

<shrug>
Best to all, fawne



Once again, our point of view does not argue that. It all starts with a decision, but if you are a slave it is grossly inaccurate to suggest you have the right to repeatedly decide what works for you and what doesn't in your slavery from minute to minute. If that is the case, it's not slavery—it's submission. One is not better than the other, but in our minds there is quite a substantial difference between the two.

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:19:29 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

Once again, our point of view does not argue that. It all starts with a decision, but if you are a slave it is grossly inaccurate to suggest you have the right to repeatedly decide what works for you and what doesn't in your slavery from minute to minute. If that is the case, it's not slavery—it's submission. One is not better than the other, but in our minds there is quite a substantial difference between the two.


Looks at calender... 2006... not 1506... or 1106.... yep... those days are over with for the most part.

I'm not knocking your way of life.. your beliefs.. what I am knocking is you thinking that... every slave has to be what you say they are.. or they're not a slave at all.. so there for.. your arguement doesn't wash. You want us all to see things your way.. while at same time.. you refuse to see things in any other light at all. That's all fine and dandy. This is how you want to think.. more power to you. But all because I or another, do not look at slavery in the same light as you.. doesn't make us less of a slave... or submissive. I consider myself a submissive... Master calls me his slave. So it's all in how everyone looks at themselves. It's now about how IT HAS TO BE.

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 3/10/2006 10:20:53 AM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:21:10 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: luckyslaveboync

Hypothetically, it can happen that a sub's mistress over time loses some of Her interest in bdsm and wants a higher and higher proportion of the slave's time spent on service and companionship, which both acknowledge as important. Should the slave be patiently obedient? Express needs for bdsm submission even though this may seem topping from the bottom? Try to redefine his needs to be less erotic and more taking joy in service submission? Move on? Other advice?


imho, submission is submission... be it under the BDSM veil or doing for others just because you 'have a need inside to do so'. Possibly, what you could do is talk to Her about your need for the BDSM portion of your life fulfilled and see if there are some options available to Yyou, a local dungeon... something along those lines, without compromising what the Ttwo of Yyou have.


_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to luckyslaveboync)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:23:38 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

Hypothetically, it can happen that a sub's mistress over time loses some of Her interest in bdsm and wants a higher and higher proportion of the slave's time spent on service and companionship, which both acknowledge as important. Should the slave be patiently obedient? Express needs for bdsm submission even though this may seem topping from the bottom? Try to redefine his needs to be less erotic and more taking joy in service submission? Move on? Other advice?


You've been given some very good advice in between the debates. I may be repeating some of it, but my thoughts...

A relationship does not follow one course forever. There is an evolution as the people in the relationship change so does the relationship. Ideally both people would be growing in ways that enhance and foster the growth of the other and the relationship would grow stronger and better as a result.

This is not always the case. In many instances things that a person was once very passionate about fall along the roadside as time goes by. While the D/s dynamic itself is still there, her focus has shifted from play and sex to service and companionship. This is a natural progression in many relationships, kinky or vanilla, that the spark does often fade, and what was once constant white hot sex becomes comfortable and sometimes sex. Does that mean it's gone forever? Not necessarily. But it sounds to me like that fading sexual passion may be a deal breaker for you.

If that's the case then you do need to do some soul searching. Do you love this woman? Do you love her conditionally or unconditionally? Do you serve her conditionally or unconditionally? Can you be fulfilled serving her in the manner that she wishes? Will you be happy being without this woman and her guidance?

Think very hard and be as honest with yourself as possible, and then talk to her. Let her know how you feel, what you think, and be as honest with her as you are with yourself. If she's a Dominant worth her salt, she won't want a perpetually unhappy sub/slave. She will care about the feelings and thoughts of her s, and make a decision for the both of you that has her and your best interest at heart.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to luckyslaveboync)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:28:55 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress
If that's the case then you do need to do some soul searching. Do you love this woman? Do you love her conditionally or unconditionally? Do you serve her conditionally or unconditionally? Can you be fulfilled serving her in the manner that she wishes? Will you be happy being without this woman and her guidance?

I don't think all those are the best questions, at least not in that way for this purpose.

I can love someone and not be in any way right for them in a relationship. Whether love is conditional or not is irrelevant.

Everyone serves conditionally. If they didn't, then they'd just latch onto the first random available person who walked by.

Happiness- a fragile and highly transitory state of being. You might not be happy without them, but still know it's the right thing for yourself. I think your question about fulfillment is absolutely on target though.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:43:30 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

Once again, our point of view does not argue that. It all starts with a decision, but if you are a slave it is grossly inaccurate to suggest you have the right to repeatedly decide what works for you and what doesn't in your slavery from minute to minute. If that is the case, it's not slavery—it's submission. One is not better than the other, but in our minds there is quite a substantial difference between the two.


Looks at calender... 2006... not 1506... or 1106.... yep... those days are over with for the most part.

I'm not knocking your way of life.. your beliefs.. what I am knocking is you thinking that... every slave has to be what you say they are.. or they're not a slave at all.. so there for.. your arguement doesn't wash. You want us all to see things your way.. while at same time.. you refuse to see things in any other light at all. That's all fine and dandy. This is how you want to think.. more power to you. But all because I or another, do not look at slavery in the same light as you.. doesn't make us less of a slave... or submissive. I consider myself a submissive... Master calls me his slave. So it's all in how everyone looks at themselves. It's now about how IT HAS TO BE.



I hate to keep playing seesaw, but it is said there are more slaves in our modern world of six billion than there ever have been before in human history. It comes in many forms: child labor, human sex trafficking, domestic captivity, forced laborers, financial tyranny and so on and so forth.

But never mind that—it's neither here nor there. As I've said before, words do mean things. What is the value in anything if it can be so easily attained or changed with a whim? My intent is not to convert you, or make you like me; I could really care less either way. My aim, simply, is to reveal what is arguably a minority view on the subjects at hand. If it helps you to get over me, I will say it this way: I respect your views, but I don't have to conform to them or give the BDSM salute with my answers. As with any comment or expression on these boards, take what sounds right to you and go with it.

Fair enough?

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:46:51 AM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos


Once again, our point of view does not argue that. It all starts with a decision, but if you are a slave it is grossly inaccurate to suggest you have the right to repeatedly decide what works for you and what doesn't in your slavery from minute to minute. If that is the case, it's not slavery—it's submission. One is not better than the other, but in our minds there is quite a substantial difference between the two.

Dear amayos:
Perhaps I was unclear. I did not disagree with what you are saying, or intend to represent another point of view.

In fact, while I wasn't addressing you, I do actually agree with what you are saying.

I do beleive the person I was speaking to, ownedgirlie has: already given her consent
ONCE.

Once, is enough for me in a M/s relationship. I haved lived it and do believe in what some call "non consentual consent". Personally, after trust is established, Ownership bound, I can't imagine it any other way (speaking for for myself.)

I wonder if you are getting me mixed up with another poster?

Best, fawne


(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 10:52:43 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline 		Truble,

Very well articulated, and fills in the debate from another angle that was until your post not entirely addressed.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 11:22:29 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Dear ownedgirl: Hun <smile, no offense> You made that decision when you accepted his collar. YOU decided.. not to decide. All's good, right?

<shrug>
Best to all, fawne


Dear Fawne: How can i be offended by words? i did however state twice in this thread that i made that decision when i begged his ownership. The collar came later, actually. So yes, i made that decision BEFORE i was owned and it was my last decision regarding our relationship.

Of course it's all good - it's fantastic.

~ doesnt shrug, finds shrugging at others rude ~
og.

(in reply to Fawne)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 11:25:28 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		not directed to Aanyone, but why can't threads stay on point?

just my opinion

*thinks about the dead horse and considers it*

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 11:26:39 AM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		owned that wasn't directed at you... i just saw that in my little corner it said it was...

LOL i've barely gotten the quoting thingie down...

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 11:27:54 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

not directed to Aanyone, but why can't threads stay on point?

just my opinion

*thinks about the dead horse and considers it*



And let others not know of ones fantasies?... are you kidding angelic?... lmao

Watch out for OWNED.. she likes to give apples to dead horses.... <winks at owned>

< Message edited by truesub4u -- 3/10/2006 11:28:33 AM >

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 11:31:20 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

not directed to Aanyone, but why can't threads stay on point?


It's the nature of communication. Sometimes you get good rambles- deeper linkings to philosophy and dynamic issues. Sometimes you get weird rambles- anal sex topics that turn into colored condom topics. Sometimes you get fluff rambles- relationship topics that turn into flirting or getting cyber drinks or chocolate. Once something is posted, it's in the hands of those who would respond.


_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 11:31:53 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Angelic: i know it wasn't at me :)

Threads can't stay on point because sometiems people get offended or disturbed by the ideas offered, that they disagree with, and feel compelled to address them.

Also, often times, like in any conversation, new ideas are presented and discussed or debated, which ends up taking the conversation in a new direction.

To me, the latter is the healthier approach. Otherwise what you get is bickering and the OP doesn't get his/her question resolved :)

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Mistress wants companionship - 3/10/2006 11:33:40 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

t's the nature of communication. Sometimes you get good rambles- deeper linkings to philosophy and dynamic issues. Sometimes you get weird rambles- anal sex topics that turn into colored condom topics. Sometimes you get fluff rambles- relationship topics that turn into flirting or getting cyber drinks or chocolate. Once something is posted, it's in the hands of those who would respond.


Yeah - what SHE said!! :)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 60
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