quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I find your posts to be immature, sometimes bordering on unintelligible, and lacking in taking personal responsibility which annoys me the most.  Clearly you need help but the attention-seeking that you do on here is a symptom of the problem which is greater.  When you speak of age play, it creeps me out because I get the sense of someone with multiple-personalities retraumatizing themself and raising a big Borderline hoopla in the doing. 
I think that you need a lot of help.  I hope that you are engaging in therapy, medition management, and other services to work on and through these things but the pivotal piece I always feel you are missing is that YOU have to be willing to be constent and to grow up and make the changes rather than pushing off the responsibility for negatives in your life onto others. 
Best wishes,
Davan

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

TfB, you will find since you are posting this stuff on a random anonymous discussion board that its not you, but it IS what you are doing that everyone also is doing -- we all have our reasons for posting otherwise we wouldn't be here.  We all perceive and respond to random anonymous posts from nicknames in different ways.   If you post in such a place, you have to learn to expect that not everyone wants to spend their free time seeing tons and tons of posts by one person with regard to topics that are VERY SIMILAR in nature.  BUT MORE importantly, when you post something personal to strangers -- and yes, we are mostly strangers on this discussion board (you may know a couple off the board but the board in and of itself is a black hole of anonymous nicknames) you have to expect to be judged no matter WHAT it is, and it won't always be a judgment you want because as you realized -- only YOU know the whole story and those commenting can only respond to what they see.

So a couple lessons learned here, yes?
1.  If you post something personal expect to see things you don't like and see people take a different presumption than what you meant.
2.  If you want attention and post many different threads to have many different conversations going, as above, expect judgment and people who are bored or who use the board for entertainment to respond to them in ways you may not want or expect.
3.  Laugh at yourself, and here is the biggest thing
4.  NEVER USE AN ANONYMOUS MESSAGE BOARD TO DETERMINE YOUR WORTH.

People online on a message board anonymously are just like strangers on the street.  You pass them by, nod in vague hello, say some random stuff while in line but in the end, they are FLEETING part of your life.  Find those who matter, people you KNOW their names for one would be a good start.  Never think what people say on this board is a concept of judging whether you are friend or foe to them because usually you aren't either you are simply a random post of words that doesn't matter to them.   THE majority of nicknames on a message board shouldn't matter to you, but see what the posts are --- simply responses to written words some random nickname threw out there.

I am not sure if you are understanding what i am saying but seriously, its not worth the angst and hurt feelings YOU are putting yourself through.

grins, i have offended, verbally fought with, ignored, been ignored, made someone's day, clarfied things for, made someone laugh, probably made someone cry, pissed people off and made many go hmmmm with what i have written in my 1000s of posts.  I have been at the bottom of the pile and i have been at the top, i have waivered in between, hell i have even been accused of wanting some guy i didn't know lol, stalked, been insulted by, insulted back, and believe i have had a hit on me a time or two lol and would have enjoyed blasting a few myself etc.  and i am sure i can go on and people could contribute, but in the end.... NONE of them matter, hell most of what i say here doesn't matter as i expect people to take it or leave it with me going about my life.  Many people use this as a social board, what you may want to view this board as instead of a board of friends, see it as a club wherein you matter to a select few and the rest are simply fleeting images that are part of the painting of your life soon to be made part if the whole. 

I don't know much about manic depressive other than my cousin who is bipolar and that isn't much.  But maybe in those times focus on those people who MATTER -- make a bloody list if you need too and then focus on those people as who is important otherwise read the message boards even responses to your threads as little books that you can take home and browse or discard at the library.

YOU are important, random nicknames on a message board should not have the power over you to gage your selfworth -- and TfB, friends are the people you know outside of random nicknames, don't give random nicknames the power of determining anything about you.

Hope this is understandable.

angel

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I find your posts to be immature, sometimes bordering on unintelligible, and lacking in taking personal responsibility which annoys me the most. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I find your posts to be immature, sometimes bordering on unintelligible, and lacking in taking personal responsibility which annoys me the most. 

And I often find your posts irresponsible, heartless, selfish and lacking in personal responsibility.
Maybe you should question why you allow the way people post to cause you negativity or creeped?

But then, this thread isn't about you, it's about TftB, who for me, is one of the most genuine and kindest people I have had the honour to converse with off forum and - having been on the boards far much longer than I would care to admit[;)] - I have seen her growth.  I have also seen the times when she is in mania and when people are unkind to her, she is usually quite kind and always polite back to them, which is indeed a rare thing.  She understands her mania and sees her issue and the problems - which many people lack in their own instance.  In a thread like this, she is trying to explain so that people may have a much better understanding of her and her situation.  And I hope that she feels she has accomplished that for the majority at least, and I for one, support her attempt.

the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue
I'm kind of in the middle - on the one hand I don't like to see people in emotional and mental anguish, while on the other hand I find her posts boring, repetitive and almost unreadable.

quote:

The strong thread of "look at me!"/attention whore is also annoying, as is the sheep-like clumping of "fans" that takes place whenever someone dares to object to her trying to turn the forums into a one-woman off-off-Broadway drama. Then again, she's certainly not alone in that respect, so if that's now a crime things are going to get much quieter around these here parts.

quote:

BUT: fortunately CM gives one the option to block people's posts, so why anyone who gets that wound up doesn't just utilise that function is beyond me. One click, and it's all gone.

quote:

I think some people get a kick out of complaining about things. Actually I know they do, coz I do it myself sometimes [;)] [1]

[1] don't get me started on London Traffic Wardens - we'll be here for a week, and it won't be a good week

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I find your posts to be immature, sometimes bordering on unintelligible, and lacking in taking personal responsibility which annoys me the most. Clearly you need help but the attention-seeking that you do on here is a symptom of the problem which is greater. When you speak of age play, it creeps me out because I get the sense of someone with multiple-personalities retraumatizing themself and raising a big Borderline hoopla in the doing.
I think that you need a lot of help. I hope that you are engaging in therapy, medition management, and other services to work on and through these things but the pivotal piece I always feel you are missing is that YOU have to be willing to be constent and to grow up and make the changes rather than pushing off the responsibility for negatives in your life onto others.
Best wishes,
Davan

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I do my best to be intelligent on the boards, but I have learning disabilities and I am not the smartest person when it comes to typing smarts, I am way better than even a year ago because I use spell check, and I never would before, and I downloaded a program that highlights my mistakes in red, so if you say "O" when you should say "U" it tells you the correct spelling, Now true I suck at grammar and I don't do so well there, but i do my best and I won't use really big words I don't know how to spell and I keep my responses simple, instead of trying and failing to use a huge word correctly.


I try very hard to do right and control myself, and if I fail in your eyes I don't care. I'm actually very happy positive loving person and I don't see all the shit in my life as a negative, sometimes I do but not for long, because what's happend to me what's become of me due to what happend it's shaped me and molded me and made me a beautiful person who will not ever trample the spirit of another on purpose because I've had it done to me and it hurts. I was asked once would you undo all the abuse you experinced an all the shit in your life and I said positivly not, because it's shaped me and given me the sympathy and empathy not to ever become an abuser or predator no matter how much my instincts may tell me to because I can empathize with victims and survivors of abuse.

So you take my self awareness and admitting it openly as wah wah wah poor me saveme I won't save myself but it's a very healthy tying.



My age play is actually very therapeutic and beneficial because it helps me grow down and then grow back up, and experience a healthy loving childhood, or rather it would if I was healthy, and then I wouldn't have the issue I do because I role played being a child again and grew out of the issues.


I don't refuse to take responsibility I agree with every one yes I need help yes I am a dork, yes I can't take care of myself and you just think it's not being responsible because I am blowing smoke up every ones ass and not willing to change, and you don't see the good, I've come so far in the last week and I won't let you tell me I have not, , when I am fully agreeing with everything every one said but the neigh sayers don't believe I am, while the ones who truely like my posts and me see that I have matured leaps and bounds even in the last few days, and that I am extremely responsible for owning my own shit, and that I am harder on myself than I need to be. I always have been, it's just that lately, I have been more so than I was, and you don't care to see t hat or you'd see I am better than I was even 4 days ago because I admit I can't help it I need to gush onto the forrums cause I have no where to go.


You don't like me great stay away from me put me on ignore and you won't see my posts. I will ignore your posts to my threads from now on because I am mature and responcible and a good person in so many ways, that so what if I fall short in the most important part of your eyes.


And no I have not been snarky I have been incredibly honest and open and owning my own shit and polite and dignified too. I don't owe you anything, I don't know you from adam or eve, but even though I am retorting to you I am doing so with dignity and not rage and indignation.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I find your posts to be immature, sometimes bordering on unintelligible, and lacking in taking personal responsibility which annoys me the most. Clearly you need help but the attention-seeking that you do on here is a symptom of the problem which is greater. When you speak of age play, it creeps me out because I get the sense of someone with multiple-personalities retraumatizing themself and raising a big Borderline hoopla in the doing.
I think that you need a lot of help. I hope that you are engaging in therapy, medition management, and other services to work on and through these things but the pivotal piece I always feel you are missing is that YOU have to be willing to be constent and to grow up and make the changes rather than pushing off the responsibility for negatives in your life onto others.
Best wishes,
Davan

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

The way i see it is people can post what they wish to her she is after all posting on a public message board and as long as the post is within the TOS which MANY of you have used in the past to post on threads wherein you become many times witches or whinging at the OP for what they have posted -- jumping in and trying to protect her from honest opinions from someone when she on many levels brings it on herself doesn't help her learn how to deal with it or the reality of life. MANY people won't like what she does or her multiple threads etc -- its a fact she needs to deal with and she is -- so let her. Perhaps instead of jumping on the person you see as incorrect in posting their honest perceptions, it would be better to let TfB handle it as she did and very well. And if you see her struggling with dealing with such a post HELP HER not take over for her. I think everyone who is jumping in on Davan is doing a disservice to TfB who handled the post very well on her own. Don't usurp her accomplishment by acting like you guys have never been snarky or honest in your post that MAY have hurt someone's feelings because ALL of you have. And when you did so you did with your own agenda and motivation. TfB has the power to block posters, just as Davan has the power to block TfB.

TfB doesn't need protection because she makes choices to post what she does on the board and people respond honestly in ways that may not be politically correct that is the chance she takes every time she chooses to post and she needs to be prepared and understand people will respond in ways she doesn't like or seem not nice.

TfB, i think you handles Davan's post very well and i hope when you did you felt the power of having control but more so the power of determining what to accept and disregard of what she had said and realizing that people will perceive what you write in their own way but only YOU have the power to allow it to effect you.

angel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I find your posts to be immature, sometimes bordering on unintelligible, and lacking in taking personal responsibility which annoys me the most. 

And I often find your posts irresponsible, heartless, selfish and lacking in personal responsibility.
Maybe you should question why you allow the way people post to cause you negativity or creeped?

But then, this thread isn't about you, it's about TftB, who for me, is one of the most genuine and kindest people I have had the honour to converse with off forum and - having been on the boards far much longer than I would care to admit[;)] - I have seen her growth.  I have also seen the times when she is in mania and when people are unkind to her, she is usually quite kind and always polite back to them, which is indeed a rare thing.  She understands her mania and sees her issue and the problems - which many people lack in their own instance.  In a thread like this, she is trying to explain so that people may have a much better understanding of her and her situation.  And I hope that she feels she has accomplished that for the majority at least, and I for one, support her attempt.

the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel
I think everyone who is jumping in on Davan is doing a disservice to TfB who handled the post very well on her own.  Don't usurp her accomplishment by acting like you guys have never been snarky or honest in your post that MAY have hurt someone's feelings because ALL of you have.  And when you did so you did with your own agenda and motivation. TfB has the power to block posters, just as Davan has the power to block TfB. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Don't worry lusciouslips, it only hurts for a minute.  :-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel
I think everyone who is jumping in on Davan is doing a disservice to TfB who handled the post very well on her own. Don't usurp her accomplishment by acting like you guys have never been snarky or honest in your post that MAY have hurt someone's feelings because ALL of you have. And when you did so you did with your own agenda and motivation. TfB has the power to block posters, just as Davan has the power to block TfB.

Whilst I agree to an extent, I believe that you cannot allow one without getting the other. If you think that people responding to one person is doing a disservice, then someone else is going to believe that person is already doing a disservice.

You are correct. When people post on a message board, they will get people posting exactly what they wish. I don't disagree with that for a single moment. However, unlike the message you are trying to convey, I fully support people (Like Davan in this example) posting her response exactly how she wants - and I fully supoort myself responding to her and I support your response to me and people like me. I applaud in a sense, what you are advocating but a step further, you can't have one without the other. So to suggest in a round about way that we can't, kinda sucks.

I don't see the point of the 'she can, he can't, you shouldn't, please don't' double standard. I fully support the ability of free speech by whomever - whether I agree or not. Thats TftB, Lushy, Me, You, Davan or anyone else.

the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

[sm=agree.gif]  Just make sure it is the expensive kind.  [:D]

the.dark.