RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom - 11/7/2009 5:48:09 AM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

Yo! you want to clean my loft? I'm not a domme but we always need a hand after a party with the empty beer cans and such. I don't even really feel like I would have to trust you all that much because there are three dudes living here that won't let you hurt me and we keep our valuables in our perspective rooms, not the common areas. Hit me up if you really just want to clean for free. Hey I'll even invite you to the party! (five dollar cover)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sflds43
Not really seeking relationship or any role playing. Just want to clean, do the laundry, dishes, yard work. i really don't understand why this is so difficult to find. Does it always have to be about sex?

(in reply to sflds43)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom - 11/7/2009 6:43:24 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CherokeeRose2
Roch has it right. Build the trust because, rightly so, not many women will just allow a man into their homes to handle their personal items. It takes time to build up to that. My houseboy (who has been serving me like this for about a year now) started out by meeting with me several times, then slowly moving into more of a service capacity. He spent a lot of time OUTSIDE the house doing things like yardwork and washing the car and running errands before he started doing actual housework.

sflds43,
i agree completely with CherokeeRose2. What She describes is EXACTLY how my experience went with my last Domme. She had me do yard work, leaf removal, snow removal, personal shopping, wash Her car, and other outside activities before She ever invited me to clean Her home. It probably took 4-5 months before i ever did any inside service for Her. Moreover, there was nothing even slightly resembling sexual activity. If you don't REALLY enjoy personal service, it might be difficult for you to serve a Domme for such a long period of time without getting the punishment that may be your real desire. So make sure that the service is really what you are in it for. If you DO really seek no-strings housework, there are plenty of Dommes who will find that type of service quite useful.

(in reply to CherokeeRose2)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom - 11/7/2009 9:17:53 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule
Hit me up if you really just want to clean for free.

It's not "free" in the sense you mean. He needs something back, perhaps an emotional connection. Just as it's manipulative for a "sub" to claim he's serving when he's only serving himself, it's manipulative for a "domme" to accept service from a sub without also accepting responsibility to provide what he needs out of the relationship.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Hierodule)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom - 11/7/2009 9:21:22 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Granted, Red, but exactly how much of an emotional connection is someone going to have without any prior exchanges?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom - 11/7/2009 9:24:56 AM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

Like I said, I'm not a Domme. The post you quoted was half joking/half meant to point out how ridiculous it is for sflds43 to claim that he

" Just want(s) to clean, do the laundry, dishes, yard work."

As you pointed out, he wants something in exchange for it. He is the one claiming he only wants to clean. Not me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule
Hit me up if you really just want to clean for free.

It's not "free" in the sense you mean. He needs something back, perhaps an emotional connection. Just as it's manipulative for a "sub" to claim he's serving when he's only serving himself, it's manipulative for a "domme" to accept service from a sub without also accepting responsibility to provide what he needs out of the relationship.

< Message edited by Hierodule -- 11/7/2009 9:25:52 AM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: How to find a Non PRo Dom - 11/7/2009 10:01:37 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Granted, Red, but exactly how much of an emotional connection is someone going to have without any prior exchanges?

Damn little, and that's the guy's problem. I knew Hierodule was joking, but she was just reinforcing his misunderstanding. When he asks "how hard is it to find (fill in the blank)," what he fails to grasp is that it is hard as hell to find people who are willing to engage in a no-strings-attached "relationship" about ANYTHING. People like knowing, understanding, and trusting the people they relate to.

To make things even harder, he is asking for something that is more intimate than a one-night stand. A one-night stand could occur at his place, or at a hotel. Cleaning has to occur at her place, and he will get to see private aspects of her life that she might be embarrassed about. (A lot of people clean up before the cleaning lady shows up. And the cleaning lady is a female who is being paid, not a man who is doing it to satisfy a fetish that the domme might not share or fully understand.)

End result: it's easier to find someone to sleep with for one night, than it is to find a woman who will let you clean her house "for free." Moral: get to know people and earn their trust and respect. No shortcuts.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 26