I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (Full Version)

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Darkelder -> I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/1/2004 7:24:43 AM)

I'm not experienced much as a Dom, but I am really interested in developing my skills and learning. I have written to at least ten people, none of which has had the courtesy of even replying. So far, this website is seeming to be a bunch of baloney, where women post who are not really serious about finding a Dom partner. I know I'm an unknown, but if no one even gives me the chance, how will they find out.



afmvdp -> RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/1/2004 7:52:35 AM)

yeah I wonder where all those damn submissive women are who are desiring to be used as a fucktoy on the side by a married man. Gotta wonder what the hell is wrong with all these dumb sluts, eh? Yeah. yeah..right?



sweetpleaser -> RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/1/2004 8:01:33 AM)

It helps to read profiles thoroughly before emailing someone. A lot of subs do not want a partner, they are looking for friendship and conversation only. If they do want a partner, the majority wants a lifetime partner who cannot be married already (bigamy ring a bell?). You have thrown out a huge part of the collarme population by being married, however, I do commend you for being honest.[:)] Have you tried to play real time? Your local group might have members who are willing to play discretely.

Good luck,
ann



gitta -> RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/1/2004 8:06:18 AM)

Darkelder,

Welcome to collarme. Perhaps the fact you are married causes pause. BDSM is based on TRUST, i most certainly would not respond in a positive manner to a married man(if i were looking)...hard to trust a man who is not willing to commit. There could be someone out there who is willing to see a married man, just for this one it is a bright red flag. Playmates "on the side" are few and far between around here. Good luck.



smile2cu -> RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/1/2004 11:05:03 AM)

Darkelder, a couple of suggestions if I may:

A picture helps. People like to know who they're dealing with. If you need to be discreet, crop it, or do what you have to, but no pic makes it difficult.

Your profile is quite short. Admittedly to the point, but you might want to expand it a little.

In my opinion, I think some explanation of why you're into BDSM while you're married would help. Even something simple, like "She's Vanilla".

In my case, for example, my wife is chronically ill, and can't have sex. I'm pretty up-front about it. If someone can't handle that, they need to look elsewhere.

Finally, some patience, unfortunately is required. A lot of the people here are no longer looking, so its different from a "dating" site.

Good luck.

~smile~



proudsub -> RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/1/2004 11:11:26 AM)

Hi Darkelder.
Welcome to the forums. I'm sure the married thing is a problem for you. Also your name implies that you are old, but you aren't. Contacting 10 women isn't very many, but i agree it is rude to not even reply. Also it might help to say a little more about yourself in your profile, what you interests are, what kind of woman you are looking for, etc. Does your wife know of your bdsm interests? If not it might help to sit her down and have a talk. Maybe she has submissive fantasies and has been afraid to say anything (that was me a few years ago and hubby is now my Dom).
Good luck with your search.

There are many threads on here about how to contact people and also about handling vanilla spouses. If you set the days at the top of each forum to 365 and go back through the threads you may find a lot of interest.



MaitresseEden -> RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/1/2004 1:49:11 PM)

It also depends on how you contact them.. being that your profile is short, I hope that your intitial email to them tells they what you seek, and what about there profile attracts you. Don't assume that just because someone is submissive that they want to be submissive to you, without getting to know something about you.

Good luck,

Ms.Eden



Darkelder -> RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/2/2004 8:08:01 AM)

I appreciate the responses and advice. Thanks. I am trying to be discreet but you are right I need to expand my profile and add a discreet pix as well. The wife is super vanilla, who would not understand this need in me at all. My thanks to those who responded honestly to my post.



NightDaughter -> RE: I'm feeling this site is a waste of time. (9/2/2004 9:20:09 PM)

Welcome Darkelder,

Well reading profiles is a good idea, to make sure that the person your emailing is looking. Believe it or not, but some of us here are not looking for partners, some of us have happly partnered, and we are here for the forums and to chat with friends.

That being said, I hope you find what your looking for, take care.



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