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For me to drive 100 miles round trip, there is going to have to be more incentive than I've already been given.

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

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For me to drive 100 miles round trip, there is going to have to be more incentive than I've already been given.

mmmmmmmmm I am gonna be there..... Now what more incentive could you want after that ;)

See, I'd actually do that, and have, for the opportunity to meet certain folks from the boards.  I could easily come up with the names of fifty forum regulars that if the drive was 100 miles to meet them, I wouldn't hesitate.

(Yes, that includes you and your family, KOM.  Don't let it go to your head.  )

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ORIGINAL: abuddingdom
Perusing profiles, I frequently see this one under the "hates" list. I'd put it under
"disllusioning" or "disappointing", or sometimes even "disheartening"  categories if they were options. Human nature  so often  reigns when  2 or more humans try to create a team. Even with the best intentions and well  meaning and well stated missions things  can and often do devolve into power issues(suprise, suprise), pettiness, politics, who can outdo who,  well-meaning leaders with no real skills and lack of afore mentioned teamwork(its a silly cliche but one of those cliches which is accurate : there's no "I" in teamwork, and so many  teams allow themselves to be taken over by "I" individuals). Even when leaders see things going badly things can get too big for them to control  and they roll along of their own momentum leaving the leaders behind if they're afraid to rock their own boat.    

quote:

ORIGINAL: abuddingdom

Perusing profiles, I frequently see this one under the "hates" list. I'd put it under
"disllusioning" or "disappointing", or sometimes even "disheartening"  categories if they were options. Human nature  so often  reigns when  2 or more humans try to create a team. Even with the best intentions and well  meaning and well stated missions things  can and often do devolve into power issues(suprise, suprise), pettiness, politics, who can outdo who,  well-meaning leaders with no real skills and lack of afore mentioned teamwork(its a silly cliche but one of those cliches which is accurate : there's no "I" in teamwork, and so many  teams allow themselves to be taken over by "I" individuals). Even when leaders see things going badly things can get too big for them to control  and they roll along of their own momentum leaving the leaders behind if they're afraid to rock their own boat.    

There's a lot of people out there who seem to have little or no use for the munch / play party / you  need the community to grow or even survive in the "lifestyle"  way of thinking/living. Some have chosen to walk away or greatly limit their particpation, some chose to not go that path from the beginning of their journey. Those of you who are there, or who were there but now aren;t, those who have limited their involvement and those who never got into it :  I'd like to know your thoughts and experiences regarding BDSM groups , good bad or inbetween. How do you fare within your groups? How did you fare before and after being in that world? Do you find it kind of silly after awhile?  Do those who walked away feel a loss?  If you never went that route, why? 

I'd say Cmail me privately if you're not comfortable being honest publicly, but how would I know that you're being honest with me privately?  There's 3 sides to every story(another cliche). I've also been  contacted by scammers on this site, and I personally know of one D male who has at least 2 fake profiles on here masquerading asa female sub.So, if I don't know you and even if I do -  I'm  bringing  up my questions and opinions out here and asking people to share with me,out here. 

Thanks for reading this far, and I hope to hear from people who have feelings and opinions on this.........

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

For me to drive 100 miles round trip, there is going to have to be more incentive than I've already been given.

mmmmmmmmm I am gonna be there..... Now what more incentive could you want after that ;)

See, I'd actually do that, and have, for the opportunity to meet certain folks from the boards.  I could easily come up with the names of fifty forum regulars that if the drive was 100 miles to meet them, I wouldn't hesitate.

(Yes, that includes you and your family, KOM.  Don't let it go to your head.  )

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ORIGINAL: Hierodule

I have a question related to this and don't think it warrants a new thread. Its was part of the original topic but i don't think it has been fully answered yet. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Do you think an individual, a Dominant, who participated in power exchange relationships for 20 years but never went to any clubs or met with others who lived the same way, is just as "experienced" as a Dominant who had been involved in these kind of relationships for a similar amount of time but was very active in their local community, attending seminars watching others scene etc?

I think its more important to consider a Dominant becasue they have to know what is safe and what isn't since they are in control and literally have someone's life in their hands.

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ORIGINAL: Hierodule

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ORIGINAL: abuddingdom
Those of you who are there, or who were there but now aren;t, those who have limited their involvement and those who never got into it :  I'd like to know your thoughts and experiences regarding BDSM groups , good bad or inbetween. How do you fare within your groups? How did you fare before and after being in that world? Do you find it kind of silly after awhile?  Do those who walked away feel a loss?  If you never went that route, why? 

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ORIGINAL: sblady
I'm not really a "joiner"; never have been, never will be. I'm an introvert and meeting a group of people is undesirable on many levels.

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I find the Sacramento bdsm groups to be filled with petty back biting and in fighting, and it's a case of to many chiefs, who all want to do their own thing and not enough people who want to come together under a united cause, but there are a few people who're united.  There's certain people who will in no uncertain terms blast the living shit out of the reputation of other event leaders, to any one who'll listen and there are some people who just can not get along so it's good they stay away from one another.

There was also a lot of toe stepping on it seemed.

I mostly stay away from groups because honestly I am not really welcome a lot since I talk to much and make people uncomfortable with my out right inability to tell if I am wanted near you or not unless you directly say so, but there's some groups I'd stay away from regardless of being wanted there.

I really don't feel better for having been privy to Sacramento bdsm groups, I don't like the drauma lamma's and bullshit that's prevelant way to much, and Sacramento is such a small area, and the groups are so close knit sometimes it'd hard to get distance, and small stupid mis communications and stuff tend to blow up in your face more than in larger more anonomous groups, where one person's fop aux isn't noticed by 100 people an you kinda get the chance to be embarrassed but sink into the wood work after your embarrassment, where as in  smaller groups you don't.

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ORIGINAL: DemonKia

Since I go to parties & classes & such in Sac I wanna chime in with my experience . . . .

While I hear about some of the drama & such I don't get involved in that stuff, & I've never had any of it impinge on my fun & learning & etc with the bits of the Sac community I've interacted with . . . . I've found the Sac community, the hundred-ish I've met over the last few years, to be fun, polite, friendly. I look forward to going to stuff down there, do it as much as I can.

I don't think I've ever met a social group that didn't have all that stupid clique-ishness & gossiping & etc. Kinks about average-ish, frankly. Lots of leftist-political groups I've been around are way more loaded with back-stabbing covert weirdness, for instance.

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I find the Sacramento bdsm groups to be filled with petty back biting and in fighting, and it's a case of to many chiefs, who all want to do their own thing and not enough people who want to come together under a united cause, but there are a few people who're united.  There's certain people who will in no uncertain terms blast the living shit out of the reputation of other event leaders, to any one who'll listen and there are some people who just can not get along so it's good they stay away from one another.

There was also a lot of toe stepping on it seemed.

I mostly stay away from groups because honestly I am not really welcome a lot since I talk to much and make people uncomfortable with my out right inability to tell if I am wanted near you or not unless you directly say so, but there's some groups I'd stay away from regardless of being wanted there.

I really don't feel better for having been privy to Sacramento bdsm groups, I don't like the drauma lamma's and bullshit that's prevelant way to much, and Sacramento is such a small area, and the groups are so close knit sometimes it'd hard to get distance, and small stupid mis communications and stuff tend to blow up in your face more than in larger more anonomous groups, where one person's fop aux isn't noticed by 100 people an you kinda get the chance to be embarrassed but sink into the wood work after your embarrassment, where as in  smaller groups you don't.

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ORIGINAL: Hierodule

I have a question related to this and don't think it warrants a new thread. Its was part of the original topic but i don't think it has been fully answered yet. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Do you think an individual, a Dominant, who participated in power exchange relationships for 20 years but never went to any clubs or met with others who lived the same way, is just as "experienced" as a Dominant who had been involved in these kind of relationships for a similar amount of time but was very active in their local community, attending seminars watching others scene etc?

I think its more important to consider a Dominant becasue they have to know what is safe and what isn't since they are in control and literally have someone's life in their hands.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule
Do you think an individual, a Dominant, who participated in power exchange relationships for 20 years but never went to any clubs or met with others who lived the same way, is just as "experienced" as a Dominant who had been involved in these kind of relationships for a similar amount of time but was very active in their local community, attending seminars watching others scene etc?

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

For me to drive 100 miles round trip, there is going to have to be more incentive than I've already been given.

mmmmmmmmm I am gonna be there..... Now what more incentive could you want after that ;)

See, I'd actually do that, and have, for the opportunity to meet certain folks from the boards.  I could easily come up with the names of fifty forum regulars that if the drive was 100 miles to meet them, I wouldn't hesitate.

(Yes, that includes you and your family, KOM.  Don't let it go to your head.  )