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Drifa -> RE: DOM being "topped" by His old slave (11/6/2009 2:20:37 PM)
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You appear to be jealous, just like thousands of other women whose boyfriends are seeing or interacting with an ex. I see YOU trying to top from the bottom, as it were, in dictating who your man can see and how the poly relationship will operate.
You need to sit down with your man and explain to him that you are distressed by the situation, exactly how you feel, and why you feel that way. You need to find out from him what he understands the boundaries of your current relationship to be.
If you BOTH agreed, upon beginning the relationship, that the relationship would be closed/monogamous between the two of you, then having your guy seeing another women would be a violation of that agreement. However, if this wasn't explicitly stated, or if you agreed to a poly relationship, you can't change the rules in midstream.
If you didn't have a mutual agreement to monogamy, then you can still open a negotiation now and explain how distressed your jealousy is making you. If (and only if) your man decides to allow a change in the rules of the relationship to monogamy, you can have that. Otherwise, you will need to decide if the situation is intolerable - if so, you need to exit gracefully and with dignity, and plan to do a better job negotiating this type of boundary at the start of your next relationship.
Or, you can choose to accept that he is seeing this other woman, whether you approve or not, and decide to focus on your master and what HE wants, and quit worrying about other parts of his life that are not within your control. Focus on serving him and making him happy. Few people really enjoy being in a relationship with a judgmental, jealous person, so consider whether you want to be that person!
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