It's Leather, Not Wool

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It's Leather, Not Wool - 11/6/2009 1:59:06 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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There seems to be something of an upswing of folks coming on, or coming back to the site who are making some attempts to pull the wool over the eyes of some of the members here. Yes, I know it's the internet and some of that should be expected. However, it really isn't necessary. I'm starting this thread in hopes that we can give some legitimate advice to help folks avoid some common mistakes. If I miss anything, hopefully, the other ladies will help Me out.

Some little tips to provide the CM experience a better, more helpful place.

1. BE HONEST! Be honest about your age, your gender, your role, your marital status, your location, how much experience you have (and which type) or don't have.

2. If you can't follow number one, expect one of us to bust you on your dishonesty. That might be either publicly on the boards or privately on the other side. A lot of the regulars here (which is why this is on the Mistress board) will exchange information with each other if you're not coming clean.

3. Your words can and will come back to haunt you. If you're going to say things you might later regret, it might be advisable not to put them on the net. In coming up on three years here, I've never had to tell anyone to fuck off, blow me, or any other thing. (Other side, yes. Forums, no. And yes, I actually used the search function to check.)

4. People have long memories and even if they don't, the search function works. You know that policy that they tell you about 'don't put anything in an email that you might regret'? It works like that here, too. (I've screwed up on that one personally, and believe Me, I regret it.)

5. And finally, just because you were gone for a while or changed profiles, doesn't mean all of the prior four have gone away that were linked to you here prior.

Often, the folks on these boards can help you with issues and questions related to BDSM. Many of us will try to help you, but we are better able to do that if you can help us by keeping the above in mind.

What did I miss, folks?

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RE: It's Leather, Not Wool - 11/6/2009 2:32:42 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
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"In looking for people to hire, look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence and energy. And if they don't have the first, the other two will kill you." ~Warren Buffet~

"Every man has three characters: that which he shows, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has."
~Alphonse Karr~

You didn't miss a thing, LadyPact, and thank you for posting what has been on my mind recently. Integrity seems to be a forgotten principle for some people...regardless of this being the internet or not. As far as character...too many people choose to be characters instead of having character.
So many of the recent threads that relate to your post could have ended much better if the people who started them were honest from the beginning.

**Stepping down off the soapbox now and going for a glass of wine.

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 11/6/2009 2:39:25 PM >

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RE: It's Leather, Not Wool - 11/6/2009 3:40:12 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I'm not sure that there are nearly as many people posting here who are flat out dishonest as there are people who 'puff up'. There seems to be a great deal of exaggeration going on. Stories told, or questions asked, are posed in such a way as to try to make one's self seem more experienced, more important, more likable, more 'bad ass', or just plain old 'better' than they actually feel that they are.

Let's face it folks... we all started out uninformed. Somewhere along the way, some of us picked up a few tricks and gained a touch of enlightenment... but NO ONE person knows everything. We all need help now and then. So, let's just roll with it. You'll get a better answer to your problems if you're honest about the situation. If you're working totally with exaggerated hypothetical situations, then the answers aren't going to fit the real need.

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RE: It's Leather, Not Wool - 11/6/2009 5:12:01 PM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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The only things I'd add are:

6. Keep a sense of perspective and a sense of humor. If Ron comes in with a bizarre post, as if he ever posted anything else, don't flame him, but respond in good humor and you'll make a far better impression.

7. Be respectful. I've seen new posters whom I did not know anything about, ask who experienced lifestylers like LaT and Bita were to question them. That went over just as well as walking into a meeting of experienced BDSMers and challenging everyone's credentials instead of introducing oneself.

8. Give holly a hard time. she needs it.

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RE: It's Leather, Not Wool - 11/6/2009 5:46:53 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
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How about: Can the hostility. Making your posts, especially your first full of hostility just gets everything off on the wrong foot.

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RE: It's Leather, Not Wool - 11/7/2009 6:46:16 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
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I agree with these wise suggestions. Especially being respectful of other people's differences. This is why We/we are all here. To each Her/his own. We are not clones or robots. We are all different. Be happy about that. Be are also not a computer. There is a person behind every post. So be kind. Be respectful!

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RE: It's Leather, Not Wool - 11/7/2009 6:55:15 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
. . . If Ron comes in with a bizarre post, as if he ever posted anything else, don't flame him, but respond in good humor and you'll make a far better impression . . .

Don't be ridiculous, Steven. There's no point to keeping him around if we can't flame him.

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RE: It's Leather, Not Wool - 11/7/2009 7:02:35 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
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Ron, for all purposes, is flame-retardant.

I tire of the endless tit for tat venomous chat. People striking secret fangs and all of that.

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