Service: A Form of Love (Full Version)

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pyroaquatic -> Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 11:41:43 AM)

Yes? No? Discussion?

This statement holds true to me.

Would a person who hates automobiles but details them perform as well as a person who loves automobiles and details them? I would say the person who wants to be around that which they love would do better.




CalifChick -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 12:09:13 PM)

I say it doesn't HAVE to matter.  For some people, they may not be as careful, as exacting, if they didn't love the chore.  I would say in that case, their love is specific chores, not service. 

I hate doing laundry, but I'm very careful, treating stains, mending rips, sewing on buttons, ironing wrinkles.  I am particularly careful when I am doing a partner's laundry (when I have a partner), because I want them to be happy with the SERVICES I am doing for them.  I want them to know, if it's in their closet or their drawer, they can count on it being fit for use.  If I wasn't as careful, then I would be serving my interests, and not theirs.

Cali



catize -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 12:12:27 PM)

Love as the only motivation? I'd guess it is more about self-love.
The best service comes from a desire to serve.



Hierodule -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 12:19:38 PM)

For me the two are completely intertwined. I serve my Master because I love him. He is everything to me: boy freind, daddy, big brother, best friend, mentor, but above all Owner. He is pretty clear about the fact that although he loves me, I am first and foremost his property. when I told him that he is my best friend we both noted that a dog is also man's best friend but if a dog soils the rug you rub their nose in it and put them outside.



Hierodule -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 12:23:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic


Would a person who hates automobiles but details them perform as well as a person who loves automobiles and details them? I would say the person who wants to be around that which they love would do better.




I think if you love what you do you are more careful and exacting. You take your time and you have an emotional investment in the work. But sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do and not liking something it isn't an excuse to do it half-assed.



Aileen1968 -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 12:26:51 PM)

I hate, hate, hate doing laundry. It is one of those never ending evils. I do his laundry and I do it the best I have ever done. I do that because it is for him and for no other reason. The same goes for all of the other service things I do for him.



GabrielleSlave -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 12:31:18 PM)

i hate loath and detest anything to do with housework....there are so many better things to do in life......however, in order to make His life more comfortable and pleasant, i do it. There is nothing better than hearing Him say "Good girl" or "Good puppy" because i have pleased Him. i love Him completely and although it is my place to serve Him, i do it more out of love and devotion that it being just my job....

gabrielle x



hardbodysub -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 12:50:40 PM)

quote:

The best service comes from a desire to serve.


But where does the desire to serve come from? Who do you desire to serve? Anybody at all, or just certain people, or just your one? Do you desire to serve those you love, or also those you don't care about?

This is where I think a lot of dominants seeking service subs go wrong. They get the cart ahead of the horse thinking they can find someone with whom they have no emotional connection and automatically have that person serve them with no strings attached. No wonder so many of them are disappointed and disillusioned. Do "service subs" exist? Sure. But I'll bet that even among self-described service subs, there aren't that many who desire to serve "just anybody".



CaringandReal -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 12:51:25 PM)

Yes.



littlewonder -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 2:25:08 PM)

I admit I do better at services that I love than ones I don't like but I still try to do my best but if I don't love what I'm doing it's just not going to be as good because I haven't learned it with a passion and zeal. My whole  heart and mind just aren't going to be into it. That doesn't mean I can't still do a good job. It just won't be a fantastic job.

I do these things for him though because they are for me. I don't do them for anyone else. I do them because I love and care for him and want to do everything I can to make him happy.



RCdc -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 2:27:46 PM)

Kinda repost - For myself service has never had anything to do with my submission nor love.  It's just something that everyone does anyway.

the.dark.



Politesub53 -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 3:22:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Kinda repost - For myself service has never had anything to do with my submission nor love.  It's just something that everyone does anyway.

the.dark.


Yes yes, but would you make me coffee. [8D]



catize -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 3:50:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

quote:

The best service comes from a desire to serve.


But where does the desire to serve come from? Who do you desire to serve? Anybody at all, or just certain people, or just your one? Do you desire to serve those you love, or also those you don't care about?

This is where I think a lot of dominants seeking service subs go wrong. They get the cart ahead of the horse thinking they can find someone with whom they have no emotional connection and automatically have that person serve them with no strings attached. No wonder so many of them are disappointed and disillusioned. Do "service subs" exist? Sure. But I'll bet that even among self-described service subs, there aren't that many who desire to serve "just anybody".


Points to this part of my first post.
quote:

I'd guess it is more about self-love.

The desire to serve comes from within. You don't have to love someone to serve them well.

Certainly, praise and positive reinforcement can feel good, but the one who has been served doesn't have to love the server in order to let them know they are pleased.

In the words of Tina Turner, “What's love got to do with it?”



pyroaquatic -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 4:08:11 PM)

I would not half-serve someone at a restaurant and expect them to pay full price and expect them to come back.

I should explain my reasoning behind this topic.

My friend had some work done on his motor vehicle. He was incredibly dissatisfied with his service....
one: they expect him to pay for more work that they screwed up on.
two: they would have most likely have screwed up the work that they made him pay extra for.

The owner has been doing this for fifteen years. FIFTEEN YEARS!!

I was asked as a favor to stand in front of his store and wave a sign that essentially says "Bad Business.... Don't come here"

So far the owner has attempted to entrap me, bribe me, was all sorts of sweet and gentle, threaten me, and generally put me through hell. There is nothing he can do legally... for I am not on his property but his ways are fairly scummish. He uses lots of Neuro Linguistic Programming Techniques.

While I am out there I can see what the owner and his employees are doing.

Usually dicking about and not doing anything.

If I was in the owners position I would be wondering how I can better serve customers (and investing money into it) instead of focusing on the guy waiving a sign.

His desire for other peoples money is greater than his desire to have people walk away satisfied. If he would not have allowed for such shoddy work he would not have to deal with a guy waving a sign.

He does not serve like he advertises, he simply sells product.

The start of this topic has nothing to do with BDSM, but has many parallels I would like to explore.

Thank You for Your Replies.



CalifChick -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 5:16:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Kinda repost - For myself service has never had anything to do with my submission nor love.  It's just something that everyone does anyway.


Oh good heavens, I WISH it was something that everyone did anyway.  I wish my husband had done just one-tenth of the "service" things he promised before we moved in together. 

Cali



hardbodysub -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 5:20:17 PM)

quote:

The desire to serve comes from within.

So what? Lots of things come from within. Including love.
And frankly, not everyone's "desire to serve" comes purely from within.

quote:

You don't have to love someone to serve them well.

Then you need another motivation, and for most people that means more than something from within that just makes them want to serve whomever. I'll bet most people will serve the people they love a hell of a lot better than they'd even consider serving someone else.

So far, you haven't really answered the question. Does your vaunted "desire to serve" that comes from within you extend to anybody at all, just some people, just some situations? Is it universal? Surely there are some limitations.

quote:

In the words of Tina Turner, “What's love got to do with it?”

In the words of me, "What's Tina Turner got to do with it?"




DesFIP -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 5:53:50 PM)

If you like something, you will be more knowledgable about it and thus able to do a better job.
I don't do anybody's laundry to perfection. But I do it good enough.
I can sew a button on or put a hem back up, but if he needs reweaving when he puts a hole in a suit, I'm not the person to come to. Doesn't matter how much I like sewing or I like fixing things, that's something I'm not competent at.

You don't have to adore everything, you just have to do it good enough to get the job done.



breatheasone -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 6:11:04 PM)

The Bible says(i'm paraphrasing) Whatsoever you do, do as unto the Lord.... i also use that same attitude with my Master...everything i do, and will do....i do the best i can because it honors Him.



AnnaOfAramis -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 7:13:33 PM)

quote:

Then you need another motivation, and for most people that means more than something from within that just makes them want to serve whomever. I'll bet most people will serve the people they love a hell of a lot better than they'd even consider serving someone else.

So far, you haven't really answered the question. Does your vaunted "desire to serve" that comes from within you extend to anybody at all, just some people, just some situations? Is it universal? Surely there are some limitations.


*waves hi* long time no see [sm=wave.gif]

Well, I actually recently came to something of an epiphany myself regarding this topic. I used to think I needed love in order to be enslaved. My former owner (whom you met) I loved; but he could not master me. I held myself in slavery and served because it was something I needed to do. So yes, I served out of love for him and out of a desire to be something I was not- a slave. I behaved as a slave because I was choosing to, but not because he mastered me, so in reality I was never a slave, but a free woman pretending and wanting to be a slave. After he departed from my life, I met my current Master - at the time as a trainer. The story is a little more complicated than I can go into here, but it is in my journal if anyone wants the expanded version. Anyway, long story short, I had not known him long enough to have come to love him, but He had me mastered without even realizing it and I became His slave and served Him. Love did come too, but after wards. So in answer to your question about where the desire to serve comes from... it comes for me from mastery and it can come from love too, but if it is only for love, then it remains in my control...a choice of a free woman. If it comes from mastery, it is compelled from me, and I serve because I am unable not to. And under mastery, I think it is impossible- at least speaking for me- not to also love somewhere along the line.

Outside of those two areas, I am not service oriented most of the time. I'd make a lousy waitress or nurse[8D]

Hope this helps shed light upon your question.

Well wishes,
anna



OttersSwim -> RE: Service: A Form of Love (11/8/2009 8:41:36 PM)

Service is Love made manifest...



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