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How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 12:28:37 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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How many of the Dominant females really do confirm the health status of your partners?

Do you have them tested for anything that could be sexually transmitted to you?

If you don't have their health report, do you insist on things such as condoms and dental dams?

For those of you involved in types of fluid play other than sexual, do you insist on such testing prior to playing with needles, cutting, or other ways that diseases in the blood can be spread?

I think it's important that we think about such precautions. What do you think?

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Post #: 1

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 12:32:38 PM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

well I'm not a Domme but I am a woman in a sexual relationship so I feel I can answer too

. We went to PP together and got tested before we started fluid sharing. And during the same trip we also obtained B C pills.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 2

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 2:14:39 PM

SaharahEve

Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How many of the Dominant females really do confirm the health status of your partners?

Do you have them tested for anything that could be sexually transmitted to you?

If you don't have their health report, do you insist on things such as condoms and dental dams?

For those of you involved in types of fluid play other than sexual, do you insist on such testing prior to playing with needles, cutting, or other ways that diseases in the blood can be spread?

I think it's important that we think about such precautions. What do you think?

Getting your males fully tested before any form of interaction takes place is more than a good idea; it can be a matter of life and death. Asking questions with the intent of getting full disclosure from your prospective male should be first on your list. And I don't think you should stop there because it can cost you your life. Getting a full blood screening, no matter how flowery the man talks is paramount.

I had a pretty unfortunate experience long ago with a masochist where he omitted the fact he was infected with a life threatening blood disease. Yes, he eventually came around to telling me, but unfortunately it was only after I had punctured him with an item and whipped him a few times. When I finally found out, I was rightfully upset and shocked that he intentionally kept that important fact from me. To think that his "scene" was more important than my life to him, well, definitely was a wake-up call for me. I think you should get your males checked out, as it is obvious there may be some who can't be trusted with disclosing the full truth upfront. And, to be fair, if you're going to be exposing him to your blood as in vampire play, etc., you should be equally responsible for getting yourself tested for his safety as well.

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Post #: 3

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 3:38:10 PM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I know everyone needs to stay safe. It just saddens me you can no longer expect a potential partner to be honest about any past std`s. It seems to me honesty and trust are slowly no longer the norm.

(in reply to SaharahEve)

Post #: 4

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 3:42:19 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I inform any potentials that they will need to get a recent workup prior to any fluid sharing activities. I knoow I am in great health, I do not know they will be. I also have no problem reciprocating if my most recent physical results are not satisfactory for them.

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Post #: 5

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 3:52:51 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline

I'm not a she type D type, but, I have a very very strict policy for this. My pet was tested before we did anything at all. Period. The day after he arrived actually. B. also was tested before we did anything. Anyone else in the future that may come into the household in such a capacity will also be tested.

That being said, it should be noted that I and M. were both there to be tested along side them.

Is it out of distrust for me? No. Not even a little bit. I trust completely when they said "As far as I know, I don't have anything and don't know where I would have gotten it if I did have something." However, I am a firm believer in "Better safe than sorry." Accidents do happen, and although the chances of such an accident are astronomical, so are the chances of winning the lottery. People do that all the time. And really, I would so much rather spend that half hour getting tested and knowing for absolute sure, rather than having a surprise pop up and everyone say "Wait... WHAT? Where did that come from?" somewhere down the road, and everyone being screwed, and that building huge distrust in the environment. If we know ahead of time, we know what to watch out for, what to do, what not to do. If it suddenly appears 6 months down the road because we didn't know about it, THEN we start distrusting eachother "Hm, maybe J. slept around on us.", "Well, M. is gone for a long time sometimes off doing something that he says he'll only be a half hour, and he doesn't even call for 3 hours.", "C. was over at a friend's place all night last night, I wonder if...". Things like that. I'd rather not have to deal with that.

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Post #: 6

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 6:00:20 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

How many of the Dominant females really do confirm the health status of your partners?

Do you have them tested for anything that could be sexually transmitted to you?

If you don't have their health report, do you insist on things such as condoms and dental dams?

For those of you involved in types of fluid play other than sexual, do you insist on such testing prior to playing with needles, cutting, or other ways that diseases in the blood can be spread?

I think it's important that we think about such precautions. What do you think?

Absolutely! I am adamant regarding getting an up to date health report as well as continuing to do so on a biannual basis. I also am insistent on a Hepatitis series being done. Mine was done due to the nature of my work. Because of that it only makes sense that anyone I'm sharing fluids with be protected as well.

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How glittering they shone -
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Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 7

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 6:17:10 PM

AcademyForSlaves

Posts: 712
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Hi.

We always have a sub tested if we're going to do something sexual with the sub. Usually we have the sub go to a clinic and get tested and show us a copy and if the sub can't do that we don't use that sub or we'll insist on condom, gloves, etc but we usually use those precautions any ways. Who wouldn't!! Good health is real important to us. The HeadMistress insists on it.

Hope this helps.

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Post #: 8

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 9:21:22 PM

MissBeautiful2U

Posts: 98
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline

it's not always dishonesty, sometimes it is a genuine lack of knowledge. If someone believed their last partner that they were clean and saw no reason to suspect otherwise, yet were infected, they could genuinely believe they are std free. I think for peace of mind, it is good for both a Domme and a sub to be checked before they engage in activities without a protection. If someone can't accept that, and respect your feelings regardless of what side of the whip you prefer, then is it a relationship that you really are willing to risk your life for?

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 9

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/8/2009 9:29:58 PM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think it's important that we think about such precautions. What do you think?

I think its something that applies to both Dommes and subs!

- pixel

_____________________________

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(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 1:16:03 AM

NovelApproach

Posts: 150
Joined: 3/25/2007
Status: offline

My Kitty and I showed each other our test results shortly before we started playing together, and he goes and gets fresh ones every times I loan him to someone else. My other boy hasn't gotten tested for anything, but only because he was an absolute virgin when we met and even then we use condoms and dental dams.

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 11

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 4:30:32 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NovelApproach

My Kitty and I showed each other our test results shortly before we started playing together, and he goes and gets fresh ones every times I loan him to someone else. My other boy hasn't gotten tested for anything, but only because he was an absolute virgin when we met and even then we use condoms and dental dams.

Just curious, do you have the person you are loaning him out to checked?

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Post #: 12

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 6:56:53 AM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

honestly, all it has taken for me is to inform someone i'm a virgin and they either think it's stupid of me to take the test and assure me that any kind of clinic or wherever i would go to find out would laugh at me and just tell me to go home, or they assure me there's simply no point.

the women i talk to however always say they have results from their last pap, which leaves me to assume they do a check for stds each time as part of that routine test, though i honestly don't know. but honestly, it always bothers me in some sense that they don't require it of me almost as much as if they refused. first of all they have no way of truly knowing no matter how much they may trust me that i am indeed a virgin, and secondly being a virgin doesn't mean a damn thing except that i'm "less likely" and can narrow down the list to being only the invisible/dormant/women affecting ones.

i know tests and such would take a bit of romance out of things, but i wouldn't mind taking the test at all personally, (though i'm not sure if encouraged to not waste my time what i might end up doing) and it would be nice to have peace of mind about it by finding out for sur, at least in the event that i was going to be with someone, because as much as i may know i'm a virgin while they only "trust" that to be true, neither of us know i'm completely clean. i'd probably hope and prefer they were behind me on it, if not helping me go about it altogether or doing it with me, but in my eyes it's just information and awareness anyway. i'm not taking the test to find out if i can be with someone, i'm taking the test because i want to be with someone, i don't get do "flings", or get sexually involved early into dating or do one night stands, so the only reason a test would come up is because i see my future with them indefinitely.

but hey, nothing like the knowledge that all future partners might reject you to make you think a little deeper on how much and for how long you want and expect to be with someone right?~ it's probably more idealistic fantasy that just "sounds" good than anything else, but i'd like to think that if i was fond of someone enough i'd at least give real consideration into staying with them regardless of what they had. i don't believe in soul mates, but most people i meet seem to at least throw the word around as loosely as love, but if stds come into the equation does your soulmate cease to be a soulmate, or do you decide they never were to begin with, or do they still remain your soul mate? soul mate implies there's only one; if i believed in such things i damn sure wouldn't give her up easily if i found her.

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Post #: 13

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 8:40:04 AM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

As far as I know they do NOT check for STDs with every pap. Evey time I have gotten one I had to specially request a test and the one that can easily be done during the pap is an STI test. It only dectects gonorrhea syphilis and clamidia. For HIV and hep you need a blood test. I don't know, what she told you sounds kind of fishy to me.

< Message edited by Hierodule -- 11/9/2009 8:41:52 AM >

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 14

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 9:24:54 AM

Reform

Posts: 151
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo
i don't believe in soul mates, but most people i meet seem to at least throw the word around as loosely as love, but if stds come into the equation does your soulmate cease to be a soulmate, or do you decide they never were to begin with, or do they still remain your soul mate? soul mate implies there's only one; if i believed in such things i damn sure wouldn't give her up easily if i found her.

I do believe in soul mates, but I still test my partners. Yes, even the virgin ones.

If my boy (whom I do consider my soul mate) got an STD the question would be how he got it because I already know he's clean. If he had already had something when we met, it would have been a discussion on possible treaments, and how do we prevent (or are we even going to prevent) me from getting it as well.

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 15

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 9:27:31 AM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reform

I do believe in soul mates, but I still test my partners. Yes, even the virgin ones.

If my boy (whom I do consider my soul mate) got an STD the question would be how he got it because I already know he's clean. If he had already had something when we met, it would have been a discussion on possible treaments, and how do we prevent (or are we even going to prevent) me from getting it as well.

i think peace of mind for everyone has to be the best route, even if you did have something there's some measure of "peace" just in knowing for sure. afterall there's the worry of giving something to others not just receiving it, though that might not be a worry everyone has. =p

for the most part, i worry if they feel certain ways from what i tell them, because claiming to be a virgin comes with its own set of headaches. the last thing i want to have happen and assure them isn't the case is that i'm trying to test their trust by saying i'm a virgin to see if they still want me tested for diseases, or to have them think i'm lying about being a virgin to avoid the test or simply have them look at me that way; i'm aware that it's hard enough to believe that from men let alone prove it just in itself. trust comes into issue the moment they ask the "how many people" question anyway, but i figure if i think i should be tested maybe that'll put doubt in their head that i'm telling the truth, or my results might, or anything else, so i feel like the whole 0 thing causes more problems than good. the simplest things have a way of getting carried away like that.

what's always funny is how much they assure me their views and trust from me saying i'm a virgin is what "everyone" would think, and so far i've found no one who has ever treated the situation very similar. some trust it, some don't, some like it, some end our relations on the spot. the only thing that ever seems semi constant so far, is that the one's that think it's a "positive thing" see it as saving it for a special someone, but they always have assumed they are that special someone and get pissed when 2 weeks go by and i haven't lost it to them lol.

how often i hear of people insisting on tests in this lifestyle often makes me think the kinky practice safer sex than vanillas do. i so rarely hear vanilla people ever mention tests unless they're getting married, but in normal shorter encounters i'm under the impression they use a condom at best, but most of them seem to shirk birth control let alone protect against stds~

i just wish for once i could find someone who regards both issues as a non issue and we could just get things done without worry.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

As far as I know they do NOT check for STDs with every pap. Evey time I have gotten one I had to specially request a test and the one that can easily be done during the pap is an STI test. It only dectects gonorrhea syphilis and clamidia. For HIV and hep you need a blood test. I don't know, what she told you sounds kind of fishy to me.

it wasn't just the words of one woman, but the most recent especially put a good amount of effort into assuring me the pap is all that was needed. maybe there's more than one good reason that relation ended up falling through~

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 11/9/2009 9:51:40 AM >

_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

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Post #: 16

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 9:45:04 AM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

A Pap test is a test for abnormal, precancerous cells. It has nothing to do with sexually transmitted diseases. HPV can lead to cervical cancer so an abnormal pap may indicate an HPV infection but not always.

http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/pap-test.cfm#pap01

(in reply to hopelesslyInvo)

Post #: 17

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 9:45:24 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissBeautiful2U

it's not always dishonesty, sometimes it is a genuine lack of knowledge. If someone believed their last partner that they were clean and saw no reason to suspect otherwise, yet were infected, they could genuinely believe they are std free. I think for peace of mind, it is good for both a Domme and a sub to be checked before they engage in activities without a protection. If someone can't accept that, and respect your feelings regardless of what side of the whip you prefer, then is it a relationship that you really are willing to risk your life for?

Dont get me wrong, i fully agree with you. I just think it is a sad reflection on todays permissive society. Sex education is freely available yet many STD`s are on the increase.

(in reply to MissBeautiful2U)

Post #: 18

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 9:49:06 AM

Hierodule

Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline

a pap test also gives the doctor or clinician a chance to check your discharge and make sure you don't have an infection such as a yeast infection or a bacterial infection but these are not (generally) sexually transmitted anyway.

(in reply to Hierodule)

Post #: 19

RE: How Many Of You Really Check? - 11/9/2009 10:02:28 AM

hopelesslyInvo

Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline

what's so sad is i don't even know where to go to get tested if i decided to right this second, i would have to inquire from somewhere, i wonder how many other people are like that and if that isn't one of the factors in how many do get tested.

i figure i've got a semi decent excuse for never finding out since i've abstained, but it probably would be nice to simply have efforts increased in making people aware, i wonder if it's covered in sex ed classes, i never took any but it was never mentioned in health or anywhere else to me growing up.

in that regard, there's no way of me knowing whether the pap thing was to pull the curtain over my already ignorant eyes, or if she believed that a pap test was indeed all she needed. i'm not sure how well the procedure is explained to them when get them and what they're for and what they find out from it, so it could be highly unlikely she would be under that impression, but i'm so called "blissfully ignorant" in those regards, so i'm not sure i could blame her anymore than myself.

< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 11/9/2009 10:08:47 AM >

_____________________________

great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

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Post #: 20

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