quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

well if you asked me, a mistress board attracts the people who seek them, as well as conversation about the things mistresses would be involved in.  thus there are many men here, and much of the conversation involves interaction with them, such as is the norm. 

if you wanted a board that talked about women most of the time, and attracted dominant women to see what's in there, you'd likely want to look in the submissive forum, but there's the problem.  dominants got split into male and female, but s types got action packed into one forum with no differentiation between genders, and due to population imbalances alone, it then causes it to be almost exclusively involved with the dominant male submissive female viewpoint. 

if we had it equal on both sides of the fence, you'd probably be able to find what you're looking for, but as for now i just don't think it exists; the general board is better to go to than the sub board for our type of relations but it is of course very lacking as well.

the way i see it, there's 2 boards to interest female submissives, 2 boards to interest male dominants, and a board to interest male submissives, but female dominants kind of just get "stuck" in ask a mistress.  the only board to really apply to them is one where they "answer questions" but don't really get to be inclined to ask them, or see how the sub males talk amongst themselves.  my belief in that being the case is only brought further to light by the fact that when a mistress wants to ask a submissive male a question, it's posted in "ask a mistress" rather than "ask a submissive", because "ask a submissive" is M/f, and you all know us submissive guys are already drawn to this forum like a bug to a glow in the night.

all in all i wouldn't say anyone has slipped, i'd say the setup of CM's forums just leave us with little alternatives.  i have no suggestions really on what to replace these forums with even if he had free access to anywhere, my only other source is fetlife and there forums leave a lot to be desired if you ask me. 

personally i never came here or saw this place as an education tool, regardless of how much i've learned or came to realize in my time spent here.  i'm just another moth flying towards the flame, and i'd probably keep coming back even if this place made me more ignorant each visit.

the only thing i could think to do is relay things you come across to him either via email or messenger.  you could have him spend his time doing self learning~

maybe send him to waldenbooks or something to pick up one of those nice little hardback journals for 4 or 5 bucks, and by the time you two get back to normalcy that it is to be filled cover to cover with his own thoughts and observations across a wide array topics, perhaps ones you ask him to write on time to time, especially if you find a topic that you would have liked him to read.

if i've learned anything from these forums, it's that you learn far more by the words you add to others than the words you've read.  seeing other posts may inspire me to say something, but it's not until i find myself in thought of what i wish to say that i often realize what i even thought or felt in the first place.  in fact at this point, that's probably what i would suggest, i'd have him write on things that either comes to his mind and causes him to think, or on things you'd like to hear his thoughts on.  and because hes writing on his own you wouldn't have him just agreeing with the op or afraid of opposing someone's views, you'd just get a fairly accurate portrayal where the only influence in his writing will be in the knowledge that you will eventually see it and so he might tailor certain things in that respect.

might be worth a try~

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Actually, I think there is.  While I enjoy reading many of the posts created by some of the male submissives that frequent here, I do see that very much as secondary.  The reality of day to day life in a functioning dynamic is, was, and always will be better topic material.  Whether that is dynamics that have more of a gf/bf, romantic, laid back type of relationship or for those of us who have more service, protocol. rigid arrangements and everything in-between.

When you say

quote:

You can wish, rant or project to the end of time what you want to read about but you cannot make men interested in writing and contributing to topics that bore them to death.

I can agree with that.  The thing is, the other side of the kneel is not My primary thought behind the post.  If it was, we certainly could call the forum the Ask My Penis section, because it would be focus on the folks who are serving us.  If the topics are important to the femdoms, that is a bit higher in the schene of things than whether the males are bored with them or not.  Just the same as if I were talking with a group with Dominant women any other place while he was sitting at My feet.  If he's not all that interested, that's not going to be My first concern.  Rather, I'm going to be involved with the conversation that I'm having with the other women AND I'm going to expect him to try to learn something from it.

Part of the theory that I have from the result is that we are talking less about what does interest us, which gives even the greater impression of us being overrun here by what it is that the males *do* want to talk about.  For some (and believe Me I am not saying nearly all) that has more focus on their orgasm or their fetish, than it has to do with any female,

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This was a very well thought out and very well articulated post.  Before anything else, I would absolutely like to thank you for your reply.

I also happen to think you are correct.  It makes Me wonder overall if more results would have been achieved regarding education and discussion had the Dominant boards been combined as one, the same way the submissive section has.  Now I have so many speculations on the possibilities and what could have been alternative outcomes that I don't even think I could articulate them properly.  I am fascinated by the prospects of the thought.  (It should make an excellent topic in it's own.)

The writing you suggested is also a possibility.  Due to circumstances, a hand written journal may not be the best option, but electronically, it may work.  Burger King and Pizza Hut they  have but I'm afraid Waldenbooks hasn't set up shop.  LOL.

Again, thank you very much for the reply.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kccuckoldmist

I think we are agreeing on everything but in different ways of phrasing it except for one thing that to me is quite important. The discussions that have been talked about in this post that are being claimed as the actual femdom dynamic are not at all the dynamic. They are the absolute equivalent of the male posted wank fodder but just for female dominants. There in essence is no difference between these two things outside of which gender wants to read which thing.

I agree with other things people have been writing that the other sections on here provide much more interesting topics on the power dynamic. The other sections are not free of wank fodder requests or sexual and kinky post by a long shot but they are not dominated by them, because there are other threads to water them down. This section is not being overrun but this section is not having any topics being posted that interest you and most of us of the female gender. But this is not the male submissives problem but apparently a lack of interest or effort by female dominants to post. But as howahkan wrote people want to place a post where it will be read and replied to hopefully with people with an open mind about it. Any threads of describe to me some way to make my life better threads do not get replied to because they do not interest men just like all the penis questions do not interest women. Which goes to me the reason why so few posts in this section as the more ultra specific the posts, (just what a female dominant would be interested in) will mean fewer replies. It is free market supply and demand.

In other sections there is a more built in B.S. detector that calls out stuff and along with the female bias that prevents delusion and promotes more thoughtful questions. Simply put if a male dominant created posts constantly emphasizing that the dynamic is mainly all about the female submissive making their life easier they would get torn to shreds. In my opinion the ask mistress sections appeals to male submissives thinking they can have their sexual and kinky questions answered where in other sections they are usually laughed at or completely ignored. That and I see way too many female dominants use this section to promote garbage that would not fly if posted in other sections. In some bizarre way this section and what appears to be a mixed collection of people in reality come to it for the same reason because the other sections will not deal with what they are selling, right or wrong.
 
There are plenty here that feed that dynamic, and even encourage the endless "kinky/sexual" questions".
I totally agree, a lot of this crap would not happen in the "Ask A Master" section. 
I could go down the list of strong women that used to post here, and took off and got the hell out of here, because they could not "buy into" or be associated with this board. 
Every now and then a thread here will REALLY interest me {but that is rare}, many here seem to enjoy it.
I guess it is, what it is, here.

The fact is elsewhere in this message board or any other on power dynamic when one brings up the dynamic it is always talked about in a more theorized way. Also it is talked about in a much more multi-dimensional way where a submissive has duties and responsibilities and the dominant has duties and responsibilities.

I was talking to an old friend and fellow female dominant a couple of months ago and directly mentioned this section and jokingly ask her when was the memo passed around that we are not seemingly so scared and annoyed with penises that we are demanding them out of existence. Sorry if people want a more vibrant and honest ask a mistress section then topics have to be posted like they are on other places on a message board like this. They have to be more theory and less specific, they cannot be the b.s. of femdom being mostly talked about in a way that infers spoil me 24/7 that would get torn to shreds in other sections and actual talk about the effort both people put in for the spoiling to be the delightful byproduct. We cannot chase every man away who brings up sex by calling them frauds.

But do not expect men to create posts and comment on posts that are detailed specific things to make a female dominants life easier. It is not what they think about or want to read just like we do not particularly like to create and comment on posts that go toward specific kinky and sexual questions. In essence what most female dominants are wanting is a section where people talk about spoiling them and to be initiated by men, not going to happen.

Femdom is not any different then maledom and if you read the other sections you will realize that they are not discussing things mentioned wanting in this section either. The men mostly talk in theorized views and self promote themselves and the female submissives talk about what is on their mind and not selflessly thinking what would entertain and interest a dominant.

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ORIGINAL: kccuckoldmist
Femdom is not any different then maledom

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ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

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ORIGINAL: kccuckoldmist
Femdom is not any different then maledom

Except that there are far more real-life examples of male-led relationships.  That is part of the reason the other forums are more grounded.  On average, posters have more real-life relationship experience to draw upon.  The symptoms you point to -- male obsession with sex, female obsesson with being spoiled -- are consequences of people having only fantasy (or very short-term femdom relationships) to speak from.

Edited to add:  There's a reason it's called "top's disease."

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ORIGINAL: Andalusite
RedMagic, there are plenty of what I perceive as "fantasy-based" M/f relationships/dynamics depicted here as well.

quote:

How focused do you think the questions on this particular forum are leaning more toward male sexuality or fetishes of males, rather than topics related to BDSM or authority structured dynamics?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

I agree that the forums are set up in a manner that doesn't match reality.  On the other hand, how could they?  As a gay male Dom with a S.i.T. (slave/sub in training.  I'll tell him which he is after I decide) As a gay male Dom with a male SiT under my hand, where am I to go to answer questions of gay, male subs?  Where can I send my male SiT to learn?  I am of the same opinion as LadyPact on the subject of training (even though my signature line says otherwise.)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I have to disagree with your assessment of the fantasy based posts being 'not that much' different between male and female submissives.  Where I would agree that it is similar would be those occasions that I am going to call the 'singular' event.  This being the disillusion that one play session somehow results in a dynamic, much like the males who use the services of a pro.  Of course, what feeds the fantasy comes from two completely different motives, so it's impossible to compare the two.

quote:

ORIGINAL: kccuckoldmist

It is a forum for people to discuss stuff and ask questions and not anything more. I do not particularly enjoy reading one sexual fetish question after another but I have just the same amount of interest replacing those with one with threads made up of 5,000 ways to spoil me, more pointless, boring and probably destructive male bashing or in a magical kingdom this would be how a male submissive would be that just goes against all reality of how any human being is wired. Because none of this is what my power exchange relationships are about as well.

Yes, I would prefer to read about the femdom dynamics more in this section. But I have no interest in reading the false propaganda of the mythical selfless non sexual slave or seeing men play an act of such a one in cyber to try to attract a female dominant who happens to read it. I am sorry but this is what I see more often then not on threads of this nature.

To be honest the male centered kink posts might have more reality in them then many of the other types. No not often the original post that starts the replies but in the actual replies there tends to be realities discussed. So be careful for what you wish for and I recommend if we bash the male “do me” types we should also call foul on all the B.S. of it is all about the mistress type junk that has little reality as well that might do more to drive away people from posting in this section then anything.

My personal preference is reading posts that describe reality of relationships. I do not care where those slices come from. But to answer more directly one of your questions I would recommend people reading the female submissive areas of forums, blogs and any other types. Cyber has created a strong female bias where male dominants say anything that sounds harsh they are ripped to shreds and if male submissives stand up for themselves or have the nerve to want to read about sexuality and kinky things they get labeled a “do me” fakes so we get female dominants contribute only negative verbage and male submissives playing a fake person in cyber so they do not get bashed.

So yeah I all for more discussion of real femdom dynamics and that we have dropped the ball on that. But I am not for trading male kink centered posts for delusional wishful thinking posts on femdom dynamics either. I truly have come to believe that femdom suffers from a major PR problem. We as a group the females come off as foully negative or full of crap and thanks to my slave pointing this out to me the men in this life live to rip other men and see other men get ripped thinking that makes them the “true” submissives. Unfortunately all of this played out seems to leave little healthy discussion on the realities of femdom relationships.