RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread)

RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (Full Version)

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OneMoreWaste -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 11:48:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hardbodysub quote: ORIGINAL: kccuckoldmist the men in this life live to rip other men and see other men get ripped thinking that makes them the “true” submissives. Unfortunately all of this played out seems to leave little healthy discussion on the realities of femdom relationships. BINGO! Bingo indeed. [sm=Groaner.gif]

howahkan -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 12:51:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OneMoreWaste So I guess we're considering "posts about men's fetishes" to be any post that's in any way sexual and/or involves the physical side of BDSM? Just checking. I agree with others that Collarchat's broad forum outlines mean that topics and posters end up places where they really don't belong, and the quality of discussion suffers for it. I find the board "Male submissives and the women who love them" on another site to be far better in that regard, and much more likely to have genuinely thought-provoking discussions as opposed to thunderstorms of hostility. WOW, This is a really great idea. I would love to have a place to post where I am not sliced-n-diced by the Domme-O-Matics on this web site. I am going to try to find a way to suggest this to the web site administrator. If I am able to do so I will come back here a post the procedure so other can ask also. If enough people request this they might add this new forum "Male submissives and the women who love them". Thank you OneMoreWaste for your post. It's nice to hear something constructive for a change... I wish you all the best things in life...

Lockit -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 1:18:25 PM)
Male submissive's and the women who love them is or was a chat room here at CM and then there was a split up and some went one way and some another and I don't know who claims the title elsewhere. The name has been around for years. If you want a male submissive's board... I would simply state that.

howahkan -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 1:38:10 PM)
Okay, I went to the front page of CollarMe.com and clicked the "Support" link at the bottom of the page. I selected "Feature Request" as the subject. This is what I posted: quote: First thing I would like to say is, WOW, What a great web site... Really folks, everything works and it is relevant to our community. There is a small problem in one of the forums, "Ask a Mistress". Many of the posts have thinly veiled comments that us men should post somewhere else. Example: "Over a third of our current threads on the first page of the forum are more about the male orgasm or male sexuality more than anything else. How focused do you think the questions on this particular forum are leaning more toward male sexuality or fetishes of males, rather than topics related to BDSM or authority structured dynamics?" http://www.collarchat.com/fwd.asp?messageID=2892755 ________________________________________ Here is part of my response: "I don't want to post a thread in an area where no one or most people don't want to read it. The way this message board is setup there doesn't seen to be any other option. I have to ask, What other option is there?" http://www.collarchat.com/fwd.asp?messageID=2893520 ________________________________________ Someone made an outstanding suggestion. A new forum called "Male submissives and the women who love them". Can you PLEASE start this new forum? If you are not sure it's a good idea could you please start a poll in the "Ask a Mistress" forum asking people what they think... Thank you for creating such a great web site. I wish you all the best things in life... We'll see what happens.

howahkan -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 1:51:13 PM)
The "Ask a Submissive/Slave" forum is a great place to post because both women and men are welcome there. That really can't be said about "Ask a Mistress". There is clear hostility here for sub's who dare to think for themselves. For sub's who want something out of a relationship in addition to what the Domme wants. No one wants to post in a forum where they feel unwelcome. That's how some of the people here have made me feel. I mean really, how negative can a person get? "Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread)". It might as well say "Men, Get the Fuck Out!"

Lockit -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 2:10:34 PM)
It is the rare dominant woman that says the mistress board is only for dominant women. We readily tell people all over these boards that anyone can post anywhere they want. When a domina comes in and gets on a submissive for posting.. many of us jump to their defense and correct the one trying to decide what happens here according to their belief that it should only be dominant's posting. If all things are not going to be considered, you are not going to have a good take on what goes on. If you can't see that male orgasm is important in the proper setting and cannot respect that... any... woman on this site gets boombarded by men trying to get a lil... then you simply won't get how we feel sometimes. We don't hate men or men who post. We simply would like men to think about, talk about something other than how pitiful things are and their orgasm's or fetish. Is it so hard to understand that disrespecting women is going to upset us in some way and expecting us to be here, ready to rock and roll with those lil cocks.. is asking too much? And... stupid shit, immature, not adult, whining and such gets slam dunked all over the boards... not just in mistress.

Santoro -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 4:18:22 PM)
Locket, respect is earned...politeness and courtesy are social graces that should be extended by both genders and frankly, I agree with Howahkan.

Lockit -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 4:28:03 PM)
You are correct, respect is earned and when some whiny, horny guy wants to know the best way we would dominante him... I dare say we don't have to respect him or be nice. Disrespecting women by acting as if we are here to cater to their sexual pleasure is about as socially graceful as an elephant in a china shop. And I said that with as much nice as I could at the moment.

Venatrix -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 4:40:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit You are correct, respect is earned and when some whiny, horny guy wants to know the best way we would dominante him... I dare say we don't have to respect him or be nice. Disrespecting women by acting as if we are here to cater to their sexual pleasure is about as socially graceful as an elephant in a china shop. And I said that with as much nice as I could at the moment. Oh, Lockit, I love you!

Santoro -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 5:06:26 PM)
Locket, the blank pages in the book of life upon which you write your destiny, are of your own design.

Lockit -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 5:09:24 PM)
What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't see me here complaining about my life. And if you think a message board has anything to do with my destiny... you might want to think again.

LadyPact -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/14/2009 9:15:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: howahkan The "Ask a Submissive/Slave" forum is a great place to post because both women and men are welcome there. That really can't be said about "Ask a Mistress". There is clear hostility here for sub's who dare to think for themselves. For sub's who want something out of a relationship in addition to what the Domme wants. No one wants to post in a forum where they feel unwelcome. That's how some of the people here have made me feel. I mean really, how negative can a person get? "Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread)". It might as well say "Men, Get the Fuck Out!" This is absolutely incorrect. I, as well as many of the other female Dominants here, have been very vocal about the fact that we appreciate the contributions of the male submissives who have done just that. Make contributions to the discussions here. I can't tell you how much praise has been given and well deserved to aidan, elan, pyro, invo, Otters, peon, boijen, DV's Fox and too many others for Me to even keep track of. I could have sat here and typed out quite a few more if I was so inclined. Have they gotten a better reception here than some? Yes because they have always presented themselves as well rounded people. When they've talked about their desires and kinks, it's been in balance, not the center of their universe. No laundry list of fetishes or obsessions with their orgasms. I'd also like to add that OneMoreWaste showed the differences between this board and the one he referenced without intentionally meaning to. (I'm a member of that particular group on Fet.) Here were the subjects posted on the top page: Who does the pursuing and wooing? If a Domme has no means of support and depends on a sub to support/subsidize Her? Guilt about submission. If I could only find a Mistress... Am I a selfish bastard even though I call myself a sub? Chastity men and the women who hold the key. My Gripe. What's on your top ten? No more orgasms. Fear and loathing leaving the vanilla world. Pushing limits Play gratification. Anal sex... A question for the men. Why pretend to be more submissive than you really are? Submission vrs Dominance. So, roughly about the same. However, half of the threads that were sexually focused from that site were authored by women. Maybe they feel a little more free to speak on such subjects there due to fewer wankers and posts from those who's myopic view comes from the one eyed wonder worm. Edited to correct a cut/paste error.

howahkan -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/15/2009 3:18:54 AM)
Okay, maybe I am reading the post the wrong way. Maybe because the title of the thread is so offensive I started reading it with anger rather than an open mind. The thread title is as offensive to men as if I had started a thread called "Ask My Vagina (No, it's not a thread about pussy)". What do you think women would do if I did? Gee I wonder...[image]local://upfiles/887613/A0AB6770D1F54591A8946A5E3FE31861.gif[/image] What I see in the middle of this post is someone who is complaining about not being able to teach her sub anything in this forum because males are posting their needs, their wants, their expectations in an area which should be used exclusively for Domme's to teach their sub's. Did I miss something here? I read this post over and over because I could not believe how offensive it is. I came to the same conclusion each time. Can any other males read this and tell me how I could come to any other conclusion? quote: LadyPact Wrote: (First part of post has been edited out) Often, I'll direct him to one thread on this board, one in the submissive section, and then a third on either the general or the poly board. This isn't working so well in our coverage of the threads for this section. I'm not saying we don't have some good threads here. We obviously do. However, many of them quickly spiral away from discussions related to female Domination dynamics and become more focused on males. Over a third of our current threads on the first page of the forum are more about the male orgasm or male sexuality more than anything else. How focused do you think the questions on this particular forum are leaning more toward male sexuality or fetishes of males, rather than topics related to BDSM or authority structured dynamics? Have we slipped a little bit in our corner of the CM world? (Last part of post has been edited out)

stiv2009 -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/15/2009 7:03:12 AM)
I wonder if there isn't a simple solution to all this. Namely one forum for femdom(porno-and-pampering) and one forum for femdom(relationship-dynamics). In the first one, anyone wishing to have their laundry cleaned, or their ass cleaned, could happily post without fear of censure or tutting. Should they post something over-lurid to the second forum, they could, undramatically be pointed to the first. And in the second, all the difficult but fascinating stuff about learning obedience, coming to terms with one's own sadism/masochism could be dealt with away from all the "hot" threads. I think this is where all the acidity is coming from. Some guys are posting some maybe a tad lurid questions here - and getting responses to the effect of - how dare you soil our wonderful forum with your overearthy carnality! And yet this is a site which encourages us to fill in a profile where we list our kinks in minute detail - and so it is not unsurprising that newcomers do post naive messages full of rather mechanical eroticism. Rather than telling them how limited their concerns are and why their messages are not worthy of response, if you took away all the judgement and condemnation and just pointed them to the porno-and-pampering forum, then surely everyone would be totally happy! Also I think people do deserve some slack. Finding one's bdsm niche after living much of one's life without having done so, is like having a black and white movie suddenly turning technicolor. No wonder people want to relish this explosion of color to themselves, and also express this and affirm this to the world, but perhaps lack enough experience to be able to do so wholesomely and without a sensitive understanding of those who have been in this world much longer than they. La passione del neofita! (The zeal of the convert) The only downside is that you separate two things (the practices and the dynamics) which ideally should be together, and which are likely to yield their most powerful effects when genuinely fused. However, it would help deal with the differing motivations and expectations with which people are coming to this board. Steve

Lockit -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/15/2009 7:24:53 AM)
How many times have we watched someone who is newer around here, come in and say something that has gotten him flamed a bit or slaughtered... and typically for good reason as he later finds out and then he wakes up, calms down and becomes a valued friend and poster? He starts out assuming things and crashes in... in a non sexual way, learns a lesson or two and finds his place amoung us all by paying attention and figuring out a few things. Does that mean he doesn't challenge us or say things that some might not care for? No. It means he finds a more comfortable spot and watches what happens and then learns why things may be the way they are. Then one day, not because he is kissing our tail ends... he realizes why many of us are the way we are and actually can see some offense in another newbie and jump on it faster than we can see it and respond. In other words... don't go off half cocked before you have time to understand and don't use anger or frustration to blind you to what you may later see. We don't have to argue. We can understand one another if the undercurrents, wounds and current things in emotion and life can be tempered long enough to actually see rather than trying to take offense or find fault. Now you can say that goes both ways... yes, I agree to that, but if you come crashing in challenging things before you see us and you want to find fault becasue you have found fault before, realistically... expect a rough start or even a continued rough time. Most of us are not looking for men to slam dunk and rip apart. Most of us love men and want them in our lives as friends and more. We simply expect an adult to be an adult and reasonable without crying foul when called on a personality or sexual practice that is unreasonable to expect from strangers who happen to be, for the most part, leader's of their relationships. We have play toys... willing play toys that we value and love... but we do not wish to be spoken to or treated like a play toy and we don't tolerate well... someone so focused on his sexual desires that he fails to see a woman standing there and see's more an object. It's really pretty simple and not too hard to understand if one actually looks and does so with an open mind. You read the threads and posts around here. If you can't see that men are coming in and acting out... then I simply do not know what to tell you.

LadyPact -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/15/2009 9:39:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: howahkan Okay, maybe I am reading the post the wrong way. Maybe because the title of the thread is so offensive I started reading it with anger rather than an open mind. The thread title is as offensive to men as if I had started a thread called "Ask My Vagina (No, it's not a thread about pussy)". What do you think women would do if I did? What I see in the middle of this post is someone who is complaining about not being able to teach her sub anything in this forum because males are posting their needs, their wants, their expectations in an area which should be used exclusively for Domme's to teach their sub's. Did I miss something here? I read this post over and over because I could not believe how offensive it is. I came to the same conclusion each time. Can any other males read this and tell me how I could come to any other conclusion? You did miss something. Actually, you missed a few things, so I'll point them out to you. The title of the thread literally did come from another thread. The person who coined the phrase had literally used it in conjunction with her reasons behind not participating in this forum as much because of the type of posting that happens here. The full line is this. It probably is, and is one reason I now rarely frequent the Ask My Penis (sorry, Ask A Mistress) section. The other half of the title was something of a personal joke. Since one of My kinks is strap on play, I was thinking that most people seeing a thread that I had entitled "Ask My Penis" would be about that subject. I didn't want that confusion made. Unlike your example of "Ask My Pussy" unless you've got one of those little numbers from the sexual aide store, it wouldn't have applied. The case isn't true in reverse, since a number of the regulars out there already know My fondness. Of course, there's always the part where you have to consider that any thread that you create needs to have a title that will grab attention if you want anybody to read it and be interested enough to contribute to it. That's what helps to create a discussion, rather than a manifesto. Another thing that you missed was that this thread was not based on a complaint. Rather it was an honest, serious inquiry of other Dominant women out there. My slave literally has no connection to certain things like munches, events, and other learning tools right now, and has only this access. How would they approach the situation if the educational content of a good portion of what happens here could be about as helpful as a copy of Penthouse Forums? If you were offended, I regret to inform you that I'm not going to feel responsible for that. It could be that you are seeing too much of yourself within the complaints that were expressed throughout the thread.

LadyPact -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/15/2009 9:49:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stiv2009 I wonder if there isn't a simple solution to all this. Namely one forum for femdom(porno-and-pampering) and one forum for femdom(relationship-dynamics). In the first one, anyone wishing to have their laundry cleaned, or their ass cleaned, could happily post without fear of censure or tutting. Should they post something over-lurid to the second forum, they could, undramatically be pointed to the first. And in the second, all the difficult but fascinating stuff about learning obedience, coming to terms with one's own sadism/masochism could be dealt with away from all the "hot" threads. I think this is where all the acidity is coming from. Some guys are posting some maybe a tad lurid questions here - and getting responses to the effect of - how dare you soil our wonderful forum with your overearthy carnality! And yet this is a site which encourages us to fill in a profile where we list our kinks in minute detail - and so it is not unsurprising that newcomers do post naive messages full of rather mechanical eroticism. Rather than telling them how limited their concerns are and why their messages are not worthy of response, if you took away all the judgement and condemnation and just pointed them to the porno-and-pampering forum, then surely everyone would be totally happy! Also I think people do deserve some slack. Finding one's bdsm niche after living much of one's life without having done so, is like having a black and white movie suddenly turning technicolor. No wonder people want to relish this explosion of color to themselves, and also express this and affirm this to the world, but perhaps lack enough experience to be able to do so wholesomely and without a sensitive understanding of those who have been in this world much longer than they. La passione del neofita! (The zeal of the convert) The only downside is that you separate two things (the practices and the dynamics) which ideally should be together, and which are likely to yield their most powerful effects when genuinely fused. However, it would help deal with the differing motivations and expectations with which people are coming to this board. Steve I agree that it should ideally be together. I would actually never want the submissive males not included here. Yet, you can't really come from the view of 'oh wow this is all so new and exciting' to cover the whole thing. How many people out there would walk into a room of strangers (if they were at their first munch) and decide it was a good idea to profess to the entire group which sexual position is their favorite or how much they wish someone would do them up the ass? It's pretty much the same premise.

PeonForHer -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/15/2009 3:28:01 PM)
quote: Santoro: Locket, the blank pages in the book of life upon which you write your destiny, are of your own design. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit What the hell is that supposed to mean? . . . I was wondering if it came from the same book as my tag line.

Venatrix -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/15/2009 3:33:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PeonForHer quote: Santoro: Locket, the blank pages in the book of life upon which you write your destiny, are of your own design. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit What the hell is that supposed to mean? . . . I was wondering if it came from the same book as my tag line. The Book of Rubbish?

Lockit -> RE: Ask My Penis (No, it's not a strap on thread) (11/15/2009 3:40:38 PM)
Damn and I thought he was trying to sound philosophical in his judgement of me, while avoiding what I said. Like he summed me up, figured me out and thought he had something far superior and I was doomed, by having the opinions I had and because I spoke of them, to live something he projected. But because he never responded and I know he saw my response I just saw it as... A great avoidance done with classic, passive aggressive, side tracking.

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