RE: Decollaring & Separation

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RE: Decollaring & Separation - 3/10/2006 4:19:47 PM

Kumasan

Posts: 7
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

First post for me here, so be gentle. :)

This is a recent happening for me and with us, my slave pulled away on her own. Just as the leash shortened for us when we got closer, so too did the leash get longer as we drifted apart. Unfortunately for us, this was after we bought a house together so there was the awkward period when we were in that nebulous grey area between lifestyle and vanilla. In the end, we remained broken up but also remain friends.

She had needs that I (maybe anyone) couldn't meet. That's a complex issue but the fact remains that she removed her collar and we were done. There was no official protocol of any sort. She took her own freedom back.

(in reply to RavenMuse)

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RE: Decollaring & Separation - 3/10/2006 4:24:30 PM

HentaiGamerKitty

Posts: 131
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

I'm not into protocol, especially where one's emotions are involved. When my previous Master released me, it was simple...we were arguing and he just paused for a minute and said, "You know what...I'm through. I can't take this anymore. You're free." I was hurt at the time...for oh, about an hour. Then I felt like the weight of the world was off my shoulders! That was 2 and a half months ago and I've felt like a new woman ever since. In our situation, the separation was just long overdue. He was never going to be the kind of dominant I wanted (not that he wasn't great...just not great FOR ME.) And I was never going to be as submissive as he wanted. I think he thought he could train my independence and stubborness out of me and it just didn't happen, lol. I feel you just have to look at the specific situation. In my case, it wasn't as if I had done something "wrong". It was just, "This isn't working and hasn't been working for a while...so goodbye."

< Message edited by HentaiGamerKitty -- 3/10/2006 4:25:09 PM >

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RE: Decollaring & Separation - 3/10/2006 9:51:19 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

quote:

For what ever reason it is decided to end your relationship with either the person you have in a collar or are collared to. (I am not making this reason specific), how or what protocols do you use to facilitate the decollaring and separation?

i've honestly no clue. i cant fathom it. The concept while i know isnt a strange reality, in thought seems like a strange reality. i have tried to fast forward into my head and "picture" life with out him. i can not do it. Day to day life. i can picture other possible scenarios for the future. But i can not comphrend him being non exisitent. i can not even really comphrend the actual deollaring seperation. Each time that it has come close, the world seems to stop moving, i seem to stop breathing and the life force in me seems to be sucked out. But what i think would happen. Is he would pack his stuff and leave? He would go to take the collar off and my mind would start reeling and the ground would swallow me up hole and my reaction wouldnt be pleasent. Which he fully understands. Thankfully. It is why no matter how loony or angry or whatever i get it has never gone through as he knows i wouldnt be able to cope with it.

No matter how the thought comes up or plays out the ground always trys to swallow me whole. Which is why i cant fathom it. i would have to ask him what sort of "protocol" would be used as he's much more logical about these things then i am. i'm sure he has a plan if things were to happen like that.

(in reply to IronBear)

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RE: Decollaring & Separation - 3/11/2006 8:59:42 AM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
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FWIW (for whatever it's worth), I make the sub remove the collar, wrap it, box it and hand it to Me while on his knees. I want him to internalize his release so that the release is just as compelling and all consuming as the collaring was to begin with.

This, of course, only after the long discussions and honest talks about the pros and cons of both our relationship and the consequences of ending it have ensued.

After that, it's a formal kiss to My hand, and the sub is told to leave My presence and go on to their new life, whatever it may be. A quiet exit with no recourse. The silence speaks volumes.

Texas Maam

(in reply to IronBear)

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Post #: 24