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Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 3:17:50 AM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		There s a thread in the ask a Master forum where a submissive wrote that Master's are held to a higher standard and follow a code of ethics (I'm not going to quote the person directly because I don't know them) While it would be nice if this were universally true, it got me thinking:

Do you hold your Master or Mistress to a higher standard? Do they have to be perfect? Or just "stronger" or "better" at certain things than you are? If your M type showed some kind of moment of weakness in front of you, emotional, intellectual, or physical, would it erode your bond with them? I'm not sure this is even what was meant by "higher standard" but that is what inspired my question.

I want to direct this question specifically to people in or seeking 24/7 relationships. In those relationships you are more like to see someone during their "bad days." Its a lot easier to put on a brave face when you only see someone a couple times a week or in play situations. Of course anyone can answer.

I'm not really sure how I feel yet. I think that if my Master had a problem I would want to be there for him. As long as he didn't take it out on me I don't think I would judge him if he say, cried about a death in his family, or bitched about something that happened at work. But I wouldn't want to give my life to someone if they acted like a petulant kid every time something didn't go their way.

What do you think?


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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 4:16:24 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		I don't expect him to be perfect. No one is perfect (except for me).
I do expect him to make sound decisions for the simple reason that he not only makes decisions for himself, but also for me.

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 4:21:08 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		Do you hold your Master or Mistress to a higher standard?

No I don't

Do they have to be perfect?

Nope, in fact I am pretty sure the perfect models don't exist, although I have met a couple who thought they were.


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 4:36:16 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Do you hold your Master or Mistress to a higher standard?


higher than who or what?

quote:

Do they have to be perfect?


No.

quote:

...Or just "stronger" or "better" at certain things than you are?...


He is WAAAAAAY better at dominance and sadism (cause it's as easy as breathing in and out for Him), but that isn't the result of a higher standard being held and met...just sensational kismet.

quote:

If your M type showed some kind of moment of weakness in front of you, emotional, intellectual, or physical, would it erode your bond with them?


No.
He has a sentimental weakness for His children and posessions and He spoils them as anyone who knows Him/them can see.  this slave finds it endearing.
Driving Him home from a medical procedure where He woke up groggy and couldn't even dress Himself properly afterwards didn't erode our bond one bit.  (He doesn't even remember it, but we laugh about it, anyway!)

quote:

...As long as he didn't take it out on me I don't think I would judge him...


He has taken shit out on His slave (verbally) that had nothing to do with her...and apologized for it afterwards.  It wasn't something that caused a wedge between us---on the contrary----this slave was gratified to be there for Him.

(in reply to Hierodule)
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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 4:46:24 AM   
slavekal


Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline 		A Mistress does not have to be smarter or smarter than me.  But she has to be very smart and quite emotionally secure.  I have to be able to admire her.

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 4:56:57 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		I do not hold my Master to a higher standard.  In my perfect world, all people would be honest and exhibit personal integrity in all that they do.

There are many things that Master is better at than I am, and I have talents in areas that He does not.  In this way, we enrich each other. 

It is part of my job as His slave, part of His primary directive of my purpose, to be His soft place to land when the world gets too heavy, to protect Him at His vulnerable times, to safeguard those vulnerabilities.  It is the highest form of service I can provide to Him.

_____________________________

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 5:02:17 AM   
ShoreBound149


Posts: 622
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		I'm not perfect....but we are perfect for each other.

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 5:20:35 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I don't expect him to be perfect. I am however attracted to men who are smarter, stronger, better than me. I don't see that as holding him to a higher standard though. I simply am attracted to men within my same standards range.

I still expect him to be human with all the human emotions that are available to us. I still expect him to  be loving, caring, available...but just better at making decisions, someone who can lead me..thus why I chose him. :)


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 11/10/2009 5:23:01 AM >

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 5:26:08 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		My Husband is not Mr perfect...
i have had difficulties respecting Him before we entered this BDSM world of ours and that did make our relationship very awkward...
now He might be weak, dum, troubled, puzzled, silly or have flu... i will still respect Him always
He does take His frustrations out on me and i am grateful He does.... like no matter how hard i try to be good, the man always suffers my pmt too...

i think i would lose interest in Him as my Master if he started acting like a child though...
i can only hope i won't have to deal with dementia ever

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 5:30:40 AM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

Do you hold your Master or Mistress to a higher standard?



I don’t hold him to any standard. It is my understanding, in this type of relationship; it is his standards that pave the way, not mine.

quote:

Do they have to be perfect?


He is human, the two terms don’t mix.

quote:

If your M type showed some kind of moment of weakness in front of you, emotional, intellectual, or physical, would it erode your bond with them?


Yes, sorta. Lying will cause me to walk, every time; but then, I would have to conclude that what I had perceived as a bond had only been in my head.

Kim


_____________________________

Humility is where weakness and strength meet and humanity begins.

one voice

(in reply to Hierodule)
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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 5:36:54 AM   
daintydimples


Posts: 967
Joined: 7/6/2009
Status: offline 		I think if a dominant can't show me his softer side, we don't have much of a relationship.




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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 6:04:18 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		I hold any person to the standards appropriate for his/her position. That doesn't make it a higher standard, just a different one. There are certain traits and abilities I would absolutely need to see in a dominant that wouldn't hold such importance in another relationship, but then again I know my partner has some pretty significant things he looks for too. I look for a quality person and expect to be such for someone else as well. That idea of a quality person does not change over different relationships, however.

I had just started talking to my partner when he had a significant illness in the family. We were both still a little reserved, but his vulnerability at that time was palpable. I was the one he held and talked to when he thought is dad might have been dying this past summer. We had grown a great deal as a couple and he showed every drop of his grief and worry. He has told me when he was sick and needed to lay down or too tired and needed more rest. The biggest eye opener of all came several months ago when it finally hit home that I had the phenomenal power to hurt him more deeply than probably anyone ever has. None of this ever relegated him to a lesser status in my eyes. His humanity and his trust in me to be that vulnerable with me is probably what allows me to feel safe and loved in his arms the most. I cherish those times.

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 6:09:29 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

There s a thread in the ask a Master forum where a submissive wrote that Master's are held to a higher standard and follow a code of ethics (I'm not going to quote the person directly because I don't know them) While it would be nice if this were universally true, it got me thinking:

Do you hold your Master or Mistress to a higher standard? Do they have to be perfect? Or just "stronger" or "better" at certain things than you are? If your M type showed some kind of moment of weakness in front of you, emotional, intellectual, or physical, would it erode your bond with them? I'm not sure this is even what was meant by "higher standard" but that is what inspired my question.

I want to direct this question specifically to people in or seeking 24/7 relationships. In those relationships you are more like to see someone during their "bad days." Its a lot easier to put on a brave face when you only see someone a couple times a week or in play situations. Of course anyone can answer.

I'm not really sure how I feel yet. I think that if my Master had a problem I would want to be there for him. As long as he didn't take it out on me I don't think I would judge him if he say, cried about a death in his family, or bitched about something that happened at work. But I wouldn't want to give my life to someone if they acted like a petulant kid every time something didn't go their way.

What do you think?


I think the person who made this list you speak of needs to redefine what is ethical. Both need to aspire to be the best, as ethics are not something that one can be short of. It is sad that one would consider expression of emotion as a weakness and that it is something that judgment on such an action is allowed. Of course I do not know anyone who would desire a petulant kid for a Master, however do not be so naive to believe that one, from time to time, may use their partner to take out their bad mood on. It is not fair and it is not right but it will happen





< Message edited by Acer49 -- 11/10/2009 6:11:00 AM >

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 6:20:05 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Better ethics than me? No. Same or pretty damn close ethics and morals, yes. If someone else's ethics don't match mine we will have a major fundamental divide between us. One that cannot be bridged.

Since being vulnerable to him is one of the great draws of this relationship, I have to trust that he will not deride me for believing in things he doesn't. In return I also need him to be vulnerable to me, because if he isn't then I can't feel comfortable being vulnerable to him.

Now. with that said. Does he have to cook better than I do, type better, etc? Of course not. I have my strengths and he has his. Together we just have to make a great team.

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 6:35:18 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Hello Hierodule, hope today finds you groovy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule
Do you hold your Master or Mistress to a higher standard?

Compared to what standard?  Do you mean everyday people?
quote:

Do they have to be perfect?

No.
quote:

Or just "stronger" or "better" at certain things than you are?

Not in particular.
quote:

If your M type showed some kind of moment of weakness in front of you, emotional, intellectual, or physical, would it erode your bond with them? I'm not sure this is even what was meant by "higher standard" but that is what inspired my question.

Absolutely not.
For me, when people tend to talk about higher standards, it's because they have a set idea that a type of person has to be and then you get down into the whole what is real and true debates.

quote:

I want to direct this question specifically to people in or seeking 24/7 relationships. In those relationships you are more like to see someone during their "bad days." Its a lot easier to put on a brave face when you only see someone a couple times a week or in play situations. Of course anyone can answer.

We live together.

quote:

I'm not really sure how I feel yet. I think that if my Master had a problem I would want to be there for him. As long as he didn't take it out on me I don't think I would judge him if he say, cried about a death in his family, or bitched about something that happened at work. But I wouldn't want to give my life to someone if they acted like a petulant kid every time something didn't go their way.

What do you think?

Sounds reasonable.

the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 6:46:04 AM   
DerangedUnit


Posts: 660
Joined: 2/23/2007
Status: offline 		my doms need one particular quality, they must be my intellectual superior. they aren't usually, granted, but when they aren't they end up turning into subs within 3 months... so its for the best. you cant expect too much more then that... finding someone who is superior in every way is improvable unless you are extremely pitiful(in which case it's your doms job to help build you up), or have no self worth(which would be the only case i could think of in which one would notably put their life in the hands of someone less equipped to manage it then they themselves are)

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 7:57:44 AM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

Do you hold your Master or Mistress to a higher standard? Do they have to be perfect? Or just "stronger" or "better" at certain things than you are? If your M type showed some kind of moment of weakness in front of you, emotional, intellectual, or physical, would it erode your bond with them? I'm not sure this is even what was meant by "higher standard" but that is what inspired my question.

What do you think?



Do you mean a higher standard then I hold for myself? And do you mean an ethical standard? If so, then no.  We share very similar ethics. They differ slightly here and there but we're very different people.

I probably hold him to the standard he set for himself when he first met me a decade ago...ie..I expect him to be the same bloke he always has been.

I've come to expect him to be better and stronger than me in all SORTS of ways because he always has been. It's not so much a standard as an expectation.

His role in my life wouldn't be eroded by him being human........in fact, I think I'd be a complete tosser if all the years that he's spent being an admirable leader, guide and owner could be eroded by anything other than a significant and marked lack of interest in me.

If he'd behaved liked a *petulant kid* we wouldn't have been together in the first place....but daft things like crying, or having a grumble...Good Lord, no.

agirl




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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 8:05:09 AM   
ncbabe


Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		My owner is superior to me in many ways.  But this doesn't mean I hold him to higher standards.  The only thing I require is that his morals and ethics match my own, and this is something I established a long time ago.  So I trust in every decision he makes whether I like it, understand it and agree with it or not.  His overall superiority and generally being right about everything more than compensate for any 'imperfections'.  Besides, I wouldn't want him to be perfect.  I need him to be human.

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Nichts ist unmöglich


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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 8:05:10 AM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		no, i do not hold Him to a "higher" standard.

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RE: Does your Master/Mistress have to be... - 11/10/2009 8:16:28 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		I hold everyone to a higher standard. Doesn't mean they will meet that.

If you mean higher as in do I expect them to not lie to me, cheat, steal, be self aware, be a hard worker..so on and so on..Then yes see the first line...Do I think I will get that from every person I meet?..Absolutely not, although, I don't expect them to be perfect either.

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submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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