poppyseed -> RE: I Admit It I........ (12/1/2009 9:24:31 AM)
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I admit it's been too long since I posted, though I've been reading along in fits and starts. I admit that's because I've been going to bed early the last week, like grossly early, like by nine p.m., because of some meds I'm on. I admit I hate that. Hell, I'm just getting warmed up by ten p.m. in my normal sleep pattern! I admit that my new ink is about as badass as a ladybug tattoo can possibly be. I admit I miss my Ma'am. I admit it was good to talk to her - phone! And I hate the phone! - this morning. I admit I want to see her soon. I admit I understand she needs some space, and that includes space without me, and I respect that. I admit I'm a selfish and grabby little thing sometimes. I admit I'm trying not to be, though. I admit I'm looking so forward to Christmas I can taste it. I admit that the month leading up to Christmas, and the day itself, are the only things that make winter tolerable. I admit that January and February are hell for me. I admit I don't know what I'll do if my current depression is still going on when January and February roll around. I admit I think it'll be bad. Very bad. I admit I'd like a good flogging right about now. I admit I'd even take it sting-y if that was on offer. I admit I've missed being here even though I barely know some of you. I admit I need to settle in more to feel more at home so these long absences don't happen often.
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