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luckyslaveboync -> RE: What do I do? My hubby wants ‘kinky’ sex (3/10/2006 8:08:03 AM)
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quote:
One of the reason's I stopped doing professional sessions, years ago, was that I had a difficult time seeing married men. Married men make up for 80% of clients using professional adult services. As much as I understand the need to fulfill ones desires, I have always been against infidelity and cheating. This is not to say I am against someone having multiple partners when everyone is in agreement.
I understand the reasons why someone would be reluctant to share kink fantasies and risk ridicule or rejection from their spouse, especially when they can’t fully understand themselves.
Maybe it was my southern upbringing where I find it hard to be with another woman’s man. I would always push them to try and explore their fantasies with their wives. I lost a few clients this way. Not because they told their wife but got tired of hearing it or felt guilty towards me. I think that if a person wants to explore, it’s ok and maybe there is a small part of me that thinks its ok to check it all out before bringing it home. I don’t know but I hope that if there are any of you who are married that you will seriously consider finding a way to approach the subject carefully.
Not having a relationship with married men unless it is an open marriage is probably the standard philosophy of most dommes. It is one lucky used to support too. But lucky has found life is complex, probably too complex for simple rules. One of lucky's relatives has a wife in a nursing home, with long-term brain cancer, does not recognize anyone; lucky arranged for this non-computer-literate relative to find a partner online, leading to real-time meetings. He went from depressed and suicidal to happy and able to continue facing daily visits with his wife. Conventional rules say he should be faithful till death, but the reality is that following this rule led to depression, alcoholism, resentment, and suicidal thoughts. Or to take another personal example, another relative is married to an ill woman whom there has been no sex for over twenty years; as she is a religious fundamentalist who spends most of her free time in prayer and 'binding demons' it is not very realistic to suggest he find a way to approach the subject carefully. This individual has developed a relationship outside marriage and in lucky's opinion is not only a happier individual but also a better husband not walking around resentful and angry all the time.
lucky's advice: this is a topic where each person's case is unique and the situation must be treated holistically before a decision is made. A one-size-fits-all rule is unrealistic.
Just this sub's thoughts,
lucky
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