|
hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Why do women cheat? (11/12/2009 8:38:39 AM)
|
quote:
Although, the last few guys she was with had cheated on her. I wonder if getting cheated on makes you more prone to cheating on a future partner?
don't forget the whole "predictability" thing, there's no way of knowing how a person will react to anything; that's the very reason we found ourselves here.
put bdsm in someone's face and they might fall in love with it; others will disregard it, others will be dead set against it, and even still others will be completely repulsed by it.
in fact, i tend to believe who we as humans are is in our reaction to what we are exposed to. violence, homosexuality, etc. etc. the thing that people never seem to understand is while these things do affect and shape who we are; seeing violence doesn't make us fond of it, seeing a penis doesn't make you want it. imagine as our soldiers come back from war, and with all the horrors they've seen and committed in some cases, if seeing or experiencing something made you a certain way, and violence makes violent people, why do so many soldiers come back in tears, shaking, and in need of therapy? why don't they all come back as criminals if even so much as the violence in video games turns people into them.
it's because having experience defines us, but it doesn't allude to 'in what way'.
i really hate to quote the movie saw... but in there it's said "people never appreciate life until they see death up close". that's sort of what i'm getting at, our exposure defines us in such ways as to make us aware, that doesn't mean seeing death will make you appreciate life, that means seeing death will force you to form opinions and beliefs.
but hey, you just got cheated on so you've been exposed to that now, so what is your reaction? what are you more prone to doing now that you've seen it up close? keep in mind you've only been exposed to being cheated on up close an personal. what might happen if you're in her shoes one day and get exposed to the things she went through. you haven't seen what it's like to tempted to cheat on them up close an personal yet.
quote:
I keep going over what happened, seeing if there was anything I missed. I cant think of a damn thing to be honest. Like I said, we had our problems, but nothing we couldent talk out rather quickly. I wonder if I come across as being unapproachable?
see, that's the part of questioning things about yourself and what you thought to be true that's so important.
the next step if you want to make this wound bigger is to decide if you're going to be honest enough to look into whether or not you may have "let her down".
anyway, wise man once say "forgiveness is divine", but also "fool me once shame on you". i don't know if the possibility of working things out still exists, but what you likely have yet to realize is that the biggest damage has been dealt to your "trust", not just with her but others as well; i can't begin to get into the complexity of how much that can ruin things.
in your future attempts to not fall victim to this again, you could become overbearing, untrusting, too clingy, or just flat out too stressful or high maintenance to try and have a relationship with.
i'll promise you one thing though, you can expect failure in any and all future relationships if you don't let the wounds from this one heal. more than likely, if you really seek truth out, that'll probably mean coming to terms with the understanding that you'll never know for certain, but being ok with that.
|
|
|
|
