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What's an LTR? - 3/10/2006 2:49:02 PM   
Beatmehrdr


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		Well, the acronym is simple--Long Term Relationship. I've been leery of responding to profiles with LTR mentioned, mainly because I'm not ready for a ring/collar whatever. However, I've been wondering if maybe I've been jumping the gun a bit, and not responding to profiles that maybe I should be responding to. So, the question I have is for the Dommes here, is when you say LTR, what do you mean? More than a one night stand? A friend you can beat? A collared sub? 24/7 and/or a live-in? A relationship progressing to marraige? The thing is I'm not really looking for a one night stand, but I would just be leading someone on if they were looking for a life partner while I was looking for something less than that, at least initially. So, when you say LTR, what do you mean?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/10/2006 2:55:44 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Okay,

I'll go first....1st bit of advice... relax. Many of us would love a LTR...with the right person. YOU would probably want a LTR if you found the right woman. In my opinion, one who advertises as seeking one if probably being honest, that's all. It in no means you are THE ONE.

What does an LTR mean - depends on the person, no depends on both people. Go ahead - take a risk - respond to some of the profiles you have been wanting to, and if she answers back...ask her.

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."


(in reply to Beatmehrdr)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/10/2006 5:58:18 PM   
Nikolette


Posts: 488
Joined: 10/2/2004
Status: offline 		I think that most people don't mean LTR with the intention of jumping into a rushed relationship. Most people I've spoken to intend it to mean: at some point, with the right person, they would like a serious relationship... just that they are open to the idea of one, and desire it.

Of course each person will vary on what it is they are looking for, and their exact intention behind using that term... so really the best thing to do is to write them, introduce yourself, inquire what they mean by that- and explain that you aren't in any rush for a long, serious commitment- but your not looking for a quick kinky screw either.

Interestingly enough most people tend to find a life partner when they aren't overly interested and aren't actively searching. And I think that speaks volumes about the wonderful randomness of life. I wouldn't advocate someone go out on a quest for a husband or wife (I think people rarely do that anyway)... but I would advise them to be open to those possibilities arising in the future. And if you happened to find someone who you felt that way about, it sort of wouldn't matter much anymore what you'd intended from the begining.

I agree with Cloudz statement that you should just relax. The most important thing I have found whether exploring the world of online dating, or meeting people initially in person and dating them- is to just be honest and up front about who you are, what you are ready for and what scares you right now. Don't try to push yourself in any direction because you are assuming people want specific things from you, or lie to yourself (and them) that you MIGHT be ready for something you aren't- just because you got to know them and don't want to hurt them. Often I have found that people convince themselves they are ready for steps they can't take. Growth usually works best and sticks most easily when its taken in baby steps. And this goes for relationships too.

Good luck!

_____________________________

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." ---Mahatma Gandhi

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)
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RE: What's an LTR? - 3/10/2006 6:28:44 PM   
LadyJC


Posts: 111
Joined: 5/18/2005
Status: offline 		Most definitely...both are quite correct.
Yes I do eventually want a 24/7 with the right boy, but that's going to take a while. I'm also young and would like to one day get married and have kids. But I'm not going to hook up with the first submissive that comes along.
Let's look at this from the vanilla point of view. As teenagers and young people we date. We learn what we like and don't like of people. We learn we want to have someone who has some common interests. They decide if they want to date again after a relationship and such.
It's really not all that different than this kind of lifestyle. You have to learn what you do and don't like about a Domme, and play. Learn if you want something serious or not. Like they said don't look too terribly hard or you'll never find what you're looking for.
I'm very laid back about all of this, if something happens it happens, if not well I've atleast met some nice friends along the way.
LadyJC

(in reply to Nikolette)
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RE: What's an LTR? - 3/11/2006 10:15:17 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Beatmehrdr
The thing is I'm not really looking for a one night stand, but I would just be leading someone on if they were looking for a life partner while I was looking for something less than that, at least initially. So, when you say LTR, what do you mean?


I'm very specific about who or what I'm searching for. LTR means just that, a long term relationship, not a fly by night encounter.

It doesn't mean I want live in 24/7. It doesn't mean I'm looking for marriage, quite frankly, I'm dead ass certain I will NEVER marry again.

It means I want to find someone with whom I can maintain a friendship, an intimate relationship, with BDSM activities that are the icing on the cake, for a very long time.

Whether that turns out to be a year, or two, or ten, I'm looking for someone who wants that same goal for themselves. A long term relationship, as opposed to a string of one night stands or short term encounters.

If we have that single goal in common at the outset, perhaps we'll find other interests that are worth examining further.

If a sub is not interested in exploring a relationship for a long term basis, I don't want him wasting My time.

Texas Maam

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)
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RE: What's an LTR? - 3/11/2006 5:37:54 PM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		I have know a few Mistresses who have seeked a more permant relationships only to find they are back again on here trying to find someone all over again for LTR. I know its not easy. Most here really can't ever tell the people their closes too what or how they see themselves as a slave, subs , sissys or doms. The other side of the coin is even if you find someone who plays well, they may not click with you concerning interest or personallitys. And lastly, many of the male subs/slaves may trully believe they want this life of submission at first due to life long fantasies. And those ideas of living in a cage down in a dugeon while she struts around all day in leather and 6 inch thigh high boots soon comes into a reality . Sweat cloths, keds, trash days and worrying about retirement.

(in reply to TexasMaam)
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RE: What's an LTR? - 3/13/2006 3:24:24 PM   
LoneGoddess


Posts: 73
Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
Status: offline 		Providing all the bells and whistles meet up and lightening strikes properly I'd have to say an LTR - marriage is what I ultimately seek, but jumping in and out of them, no. I don't think many Dommes practice serial monogamy or other types of LTRs.

No, unless you've sworn off love and all that entails (including the possibility of an LTR) you may want to approach those who do actively seek it... because you never know, lightening could strike, but that's just my ever hopeful romantic side speaking. You can ignore this post...

~Lady Laura

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/13/2006 6:38:16 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I don't say that I'm looking for LTR -- I say I'm looking to add to my household.

How long said addition lasts will depend on the people in the household.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/14/2006 4:58:27 AM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		One of the biggest challenges for me is people reading so many of my articles, movies, etc and thinking I do that with everyone. It’s hard for the separate the reality of who I am as a woman and fantasy of Goddess Dianna Vesta. Although somewhat parallel it’s different. I never use LTR even if I am looking for a partner. Then again I’m not sure I’m totally into that concept anyhow.

I think it scares people when they see a big menu of interest on your profile. I really do. Each one of my relationships was different. The things I do with one person are based on the dynamic we share and like interest. I might enjoy another person equally yet enjoy doing different things with them.

In approaching all relationships I try and keep an open mind. Of course there are things I already know that will go against my grain & try and avoid this. For instance I’m not interested in having my dominance challenged or tested no would I consider a relationship with a married man. Other then that if there is a connection I am pretty much open to exploring and even trying new things.

Dianna Vesta

_____________________________



(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/14/2006 5:23:01 AM   
openmindedslave


Posts: 470
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		Correct me if I am wrong , but does it seem that to some LTR means no one night stands . Those that I know use it to express that they want someone who is going to be around incompared to fantasy seekers. Maybe "LTR" is to easily thrown around and more so , should be explained in more detail exactly what the person is really seeking . Think about it for a second.. In some ways it almost seems so limiting. Would you be wlling to lose the chance to make a great friend just because they could not commit to you as you want? It might be better for all to not depend on an expression to sum up everything you want. Yet I do understand how hard it is for many here to write a profile that trully expresses their own self.

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/14/2006 6:08:44 AM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Correct me if I am wrong , but does it seem that to some LTR means no one night


For some reason, this caused me to flash back to an episode of Married with Children where a bimbo tells Al, "I'm looking for a relationship; you know, a guy who will stay until the next morning."

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/14/2006 2:32:03 PM   
Beatmehrdr


Posts: 61
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the replies. Basically, after reading the replies, I'm pretty much in the same boat as before. I know I'm interested in something ongoing, but I also am pretty sure(not certain) that I'm not ready for something serious either. Just a day/week/month at a time, and see where things go.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/14/2006 11:01:37 PM   
MarinaBlack


Posts: 121
Joined: 8/6/2005
Status: offline 		I can only say what it means to me and to do so it will be easier to first describe the opposite.

There area lot of what I call "do me subs" out there and what they seek is a Domme that they can secretly visit ('cause so many of them are in "monogamous" vanilla relationships) for the occasionaly spanking.
They have nothing to offer - no service, no commitment, not even friendship.

When I say I want an LTR, what I mean is that I want an actual relationship. I want some emotional investment. The depth of this can vary - it can be anywhere from a friend who submits to me on occasion to a full-on slave.

Depending on what YOU seek, I don't think you should shy away from profiles that seek LTRs. They don't necessarily mean marriage/collaring. Also, remember that even in the vanilla world when someone says they seek marriage it doesn't mean they want it tomorrow. They just want to know that the person they are dating is of a like mind and are willing to keep dating to learn if the relationship can go there or not.

Did this make any sense?

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/15/2006 4:02:57 PM   
MichMasochist


Posts: 234
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline 		Hey that's what it means to me. No one night stands, not looking for a pay to play mate, not in a hurry to get beaten, not in a rush to commit fatherhood, (sex for those who cann't figure it out), Would like to have someone who will be around for the long term. No more dinners alone, no more cold empty space in the bed next to me. The list goes on.


quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave

Correct me if I am wrong , but does it seem that to some LTR means no one night stands . Those that I know use it to express that they want someone who is going to be around incompared to fantasy seekers. Maybe "LTR" is to easily thrown around and more so , should be explained in more detail exactly what the person is really seeking . Think about it for a second.. In some ways it almost seems so limiting. Would you be wlling to lose the chance to make a great friend just because they could not commit to you as you want? It might be better for all to not depend on an expression to sum up everything you want. Yet I do understand how hard it is for many here to write a profile that trully expresses their own self.


(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/18/2006 4:30:39 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: openmindedslave
Would you be wlling to lose the chance to make a great friend just because they could not commit to you as you want? It might be better for all to not depend on an expression to sum up everything you want. Yet I do understand how hard it is for many here to write a profile that trully expresses their own self.


You bet. I'd lose the chance to make a great friend simply because they know at the outset that they only want to play.

I've matured far beyond that point of personal and interpersonal development.

I have an abundance of friends: I have friends at work, friends at home, friends re: the ranch, and friends in the lifestyle. I have enough friends and I'm not writing My profile here to make 'friends'.

I'm writing My profile here in the hope of meeting a like minded individual who, like Me, wants an ongoing, long term, much closer than friends, no wham bam thankee maam, no four f's (find em, fool em, fuck em, forget em) kind of encounters, thank you very much.

Keep your friendships and send Me the men. But please, only send Me those who would like to contemplate sharing a one on one, long term relationship.

You know: LTR

Texas Maam


(in reply to openmindedslave)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/18/2006 4:32:16 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		.......and if he turns out to be the right guy, and the right LTR, he just might get to meet My friends.


; )

Texas Maam

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What's an LTR? - 3/26/2006 12:19:55 PM   
trikebrontosaur


Posts: 15
Joined: 2/25/2006
Status: offline 		i deeply desire an LTR with the rigth Mistress...any tips on how to go about it?i am inexperienced

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 17
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