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sunshinemiss -> RE: Note from Clumsy... (11/13/2009 5:07:15 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sirsholly
so...here is the real story. I sent a text to Pots explaining why i would be off line for a bit. I am now back, in case any of you are wondering.
The events as they unfolded:
I was pulling a Susie-Homemaker and running the vacuum. I accidentally ran over the fucking cord. This made me cuss. When the cussing was completed i got the necessary tools needed to splice the cord back together. I had no clue how to splice something...but how hard could it be...right?
So...i am a-cuttin' and a-splicing...and when i was done twisting all those teensy weensy copper wires together (and getting my fingers poked in the process) i felt it was a good idea to plug the damn thing in to make sure i did it right. I wanted to be sure before i took the next step of twisting those silly red cap things onto the wires and wrapping the entire mess with electrical tape. I think y'all see this coming...i plugged it in with exposed wires. Actually...that was not the bad part. The fuck-up occurred because i turned it on...
Much to my credit, i was fast on my feet and able to stomp out all the sparks (shot right out of the outlet...looked like someone lit a sparkler in there, lemmetellya) before the carpet ignited. Once i was done stomping, i noticed the vacuum smelled...odd. Sorta like...smoke. So i hauled it out onto the front lawn (relax...the neighbors are used to seeing major/small appliances smoldering in front of our house. It is one way they know i'm home.)
So...a disaster averted. But when i came back inside i saw that the computer was strangely dark. Common sense (of which i have a limited supply) told me i threw a breaker. No problem...i know where the breaker box is located (basement). So i haul it down the steps and flip it back on.
Since the vacuum was still smokin' i thought i would get on-line. But...the stoopid computer refused to connect to the internet. Tech support was called ("Hey...who wants this call? It's Holly AGAIN!") and we figured out the modem was fried (4th modem this year, btw). I had to wait (and wait...) for the tech from the phone company (Bubba) to call and schedule a time to get his red-neck ass out here to replace the damn thing. Bubba has replaced all the previous modems and really hates my guts.
So...this morning i was sick of waiting. I called and was put threw to him (boy...is he gonna kick that secretaries ass).Bubba agreed it was the modem again, and to save time, told me it was perfectly ok for me to bring the fried one in and pick up a new one. Bubba said he was reallyreally busy (Bubba had no intention of driving all the way out here again).
So...i have to disconnect the old modem. This was not as easy as you might think. I managed to get two of the three cables unplugged, but of course the third one had to be a pain in the ass. Somehow it was under the base of the desk. Now...i could not lift this monster to free the cable, and it was shot anyway, so that left cutting the cable (shaddup). I made absolutely sure everything was disconnected before i attacked it with a pair of vegetable sheers. A quick snip and a major tug, and both pieces of the cable were free. Go me!
Buuut....it was the wrong cable. I now need a new set of speakers [8|]
Anyhoo.....i haul my electrically-challenged ass to the phone company, and there is busy Bubba sitting on his ass eating a cream filled doughnut. I was handed the new modem and not offered a doughnut, which i found rather rude. Bubba suggested Jim install the new modem. Bubba is NOT getting a Christmas card this year.
The new modem was successfully installed by yours truly (takes a bow) and the computer is now up and running.
The vacuum is not so lucky.....
Holly,
You are a treat!
Glad no one was actually hurt.
sunshine
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