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Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/12/2009 10:33:49 PM

abjectobject

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/7/2009
Status: offline

I'm looking for a brief yes or no kind of reply to a basic question about the chances of finding a Mistress. In short, is this all fantasy or with some patience could I ever find someone?

The internet is a playground of fantasies. BDSM is a type of fantasy. What I've seen so far is no different than anything else having to do with sexual relationships online, which is that just like the ratio of sperm to egg, for every woman who is at least somewhat sexual there is an excess of men teeming to be with her. I factor in my age, and things look bleak.

So my question is, compared to a snowball's chance in hell, does a 50 year old guy keep looking, or is another pastime a better bet?

Post #: 1

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/12/2009 10:39:09 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'd say you've got a better chance than the snowball. LOL.

What I will tell you to keep in mind is the exact thing that you've written above. There absolutely are more submissive males than Dominant females. That means that you will have competition. The more you have to offer, the better your chances.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 2

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/12/2009 10:41:29 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Most relationships, regardless of the medium used to begin them, start and/or continue under snowballs-chance odds.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 3

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/12/2009 10:41:40 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject

I'm looking for a brief yes or no kind of reply to a basic question about the chances of finding a Mistress. In short, is this all fantasy or with some patience could I ever find someone?

The internet is a playground of fantasies. BDSM is a type of fantasy. What I've seen so far is no different than anything else having to do with sexual relationships online, which is that just like the ratio of sperm to egg, for every woman who is at least somewhat sexual there is an excess of men teeming to be with her. I factor in my age, and things look bleak.

So my question is, compared to a snowball's chance in hell, does a 50 year old guy keep looking, or is another pastime a better bet?

Well... what are you looking for?

If all you are wanting is some scenes occasionally, go to your local play parties and get to know people. Make friends and respectfully request to scene. Be a good play partner (make sure she gets her kinks fulfilled as well as yours) and you'll probably get more.

If you want a purely sexual relationship, like any submissive, you'll have to keep trying. I wouldn't say your chances are that bleak, particularly if you get active in your local community. If all you want is online, it probably wouldn't be that hard as long as you stick to the CM members who want online relationships.

If you want a long-term relationship, it's a matter of patience and remembering that you have a lot to offer. BDSM relationships are still relationships and they are formed on a lot more than kinks.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 4

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/12/2009 10:43:02 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Most relationships, regardless of the medium used to begin them, start and/or continue under snowballs-chance odds.

I'll second that. I totally would have bet a hefty sum of money against Val and I working out.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 5

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/12/2009 10:47:01 PM

CelticSubM

Posts: 102
Joined: 3/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject
...I factor in my age, and things look bleak.

So my question is, compared to a snowball's chance in hell, does a 50 year old guy keep looking, or is another pastime a better bet?

Actually, your age is a plus factor, a very big plus factor. The ratio of available men to women shifts very dramatically in favor of men after roughly age 40. That's partly a matter of longer female life expectancy. More importantly, men tend to seek partners who are their own age or younger, while women generally seek partners their own age or older. The movie Something's Gotta Give was a comedy, but the situtation it describes is very real.

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 6

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/12/2009 10:53:19 PM

GYPSYMAMBO

Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

If you ask those without a MISTRESS who are still looking diligently...with optimismn..or those who are lookin' and waitin' around with a no -pic- dry toast profile
you will get different answers.
IF you ask Mistresses such as me who have found 3 fabulous boyz and many great friends on here or Mistresses who whine and complain..use and abuse you will get different answers.

BDSM is NOT a type of fantasy unless you "session" only or focus on kink only in play time..or fantasize in your head.

BDSM has been a way of LIFE for me for 22+ years..it is about DOMINATION..
I have lived POLY for many years and dominate and lead all my relationships.
THIS power exchange and love and care is #1...the KINK is 2nd or even 3rd.

YOU use the terms "type of fantasy" and"any sexaul realtionships on line"
translation: YOU are looking for SEX...or perhaps you are a bottom who wants session with a top to have a kinked up time..thats fine..just get it straight.

YOU say.."excess men" Translation.:giving up..QUIT IT!

YOU say :DOES a 50 year old guy keep looking?"

LOOK!!...I am over 50 and I AM NTO OLD...and further more my fav and bestest bestest sub was 73..what a guy wow.!!!
.
I have at the moment 3 men under consideration....one is 60 ..1 is 55 ...and 1 is 27
the age is NOTHING to me..
IT is about what they have to OFFER..and how they will enhance my life..
The are eager to serve..they have many skill sets such as cooking..driving..love of life..dancing..intelligence and then the sexual and BDSM yes..

I would say to you..
KEEP LOOKING IF YOU change your attitude...

and spruce up your profile
IT sounds like you are very listless and kind of like "
"oh welllllllllllll tell me what to do and I'll do it.."

WHY??
What do you want to GIVE..to the woman?? what..
I would give you more shit or a spanking but

I am trying to help us "old" farts" pull up their socks and LIVE!!!!!.come on..

Think of fedx who is 75 now..I met him at 73 and he was fab and alive and I had no idea of his age..He served from the heart loved life had adventure..
man I miss him..

best of luck..
GM

< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 11/12/2009 10:57:50 PM >

_____________________________

"Better served women will better serve the world"

** ** **

"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 7

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 2:11:49 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject

I'm looking for a brief yes or no kind of reply to a basic question about the chances of finding a Mistress. In short, is this all fantasy or with some patience could I ever find someone?

The internet is a playground of fantasies. BDSM is a type of fantasy. What I've seen so far is no different than anything else having to do with sexual relationships online, which is that just like the ratio of sperm to egg, for every woman who is at least somewhat sexual there is an excess of men teeming to be with her. I factor in my age, and things look bleak.

So my question is, compared to a snowball's chance in hell, does a 50 year old guy keep looking, or is another pastime a better bet?

OP,

In looking at your profile, what I see is someone who is willing to settle...for anything and nothing.

quote:

i'm nothing special just another sub craving domination, dreaming of someone to try me out for live-in or just use me however

quote:

available for emotional relationship if desired, content to be used impersonally

These and some of the other statements in your profile give me the impression you have little concern or respect for yourself and this interest in bdsm could take you. Why would any woman, domme or not, be attracted to someone who appears to have so little value of himself? I'm not being snarky...instead I'm being honest. You've been here, at least with this profile, for only 6 days. There are people who have been searching for years and you see things as "bleak" after 6 days?

Should you look for another "pastime" instead of bdsm which you see as "a type of fantasy"? With that attitude....YES, you should move on. Why? Because, just in looking at this post and your profile, all I see is a man who want's his snowball's chance, which in and of itself isn't a problem at all, but offers no reason why a domme should be interested. Like GYPSYMAMBO said ...

quote:

and spruce up your profile
IT sounds like you are very listless and kind of like "
"oh welllllllllllll tell me what to do and I'll do it.."
WHY??
What do you want to GIVE..to the woman?? what..

Age has nothing to do with it. Attitude is everything. Your profile is an advertisment and you're the product being marketed. Use it as a place to show your strengths and abilities...things you bring to the table...the something "more" that would make a domme do a double take and think "hmm, I may want to take a look at this one."

Or, take the time to get away from the computer and seek out local activities and munches. Meet others with similar interest...in the flesh, so to speak, and discover this is more than online fantasy for many people.
Regardless of how you decide to pursue this "pastime", do so gusto!

So....in answer to your question "is this all fantasy or with some patience could I ever find someone?"...If you want more than fantasy, you need to make the effort and put the time in to develop something more. Rome wasn't built in a day!

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 11/13/2009 2:18:52 AM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 8

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 2:30:43 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

OP, quit thinking that you're competing with 21 your old Chippendale lookalikes. You're not. They offer a potential mate things that you don't, and you offer things that they don't.

While I know of one Domme who was on CM that liked younger men, most Dommes on CM in their forties and fifties prefer someone around their own age. Eventually, you have to leave the bedroom and talk, as well as make a living, etc.Maturity and experience count for a lot at that point.

Your profile say nothing about the kind of Domme you want. Do you want one in her twenties, in her fifties, what? Online or RL only? What do you consider "service" to her to be? What skills can you bring to the table?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 9

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 3:27:22 AM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

I have found CM fruitful.

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 10

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 3:38:02 AM

devilishpixie

Posts: 1044
Joined: 10/15/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject

I'm looking for a brief yes or no kind of reply to a basic question about the chances of finding a Mistress. In short, is this all fantasy or with some patience could I ever find someone?

It may not happen over night, there are far more submissive men than dominant women but yes it can happen. Just show a little bit of patience.

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 11

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 7:32:25 AM

abjectobject

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/7/2009
Status: offline

The numbers make it a waste of time. I won't compete. Thanks for the answers. It was a stupid question.

(in reply to devilishpixie)

Post #: 12

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 7:45:23 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject

The numbers make it a waste of time. I won't compete. Thanks for the answers. It was a stupid question.

It isn't the numbers. It's your attitude.

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 13

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 7:51:33 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject

The numbers make it a waste of time. I won't compete. Thanks for the answers. It was a stupid question.

It isn't the numbers. It's your attitude.

Seconded.

OP, there are male subs your age who attract Dommes. They have good senses of humor, upbeat attitudes, and oh, yeah, they are also submissive.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 14

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 7:53:27 AM

Drifa

Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline

This is not the domme-mart fast-fuck drive through, but certainly there's a chance to meet real people. But it IS the internet, so there are guys pretending to be women to get wanking material, and Nigerian scammers, and all sorts of people who turn out to be scared and turn to vapor when you try to meet up.

I will say that your BEST opportunity for meeting real people, however, are local in-person venues. And Austin, true to the tradition of keepin' it weird, has several. I'm listing the websites/forums for the ones I know about. Join the list to get more info on where to go to meet people in the local area.

AustinsubCulture
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/austinsubculture/

Austin Voyagers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Austin_Voyagers/

Central Texas Kink
http://www.centraltexaskink.org/indexpage.htm

The Group With No Name
http://www.gwnn.net/

Central Texas Boys of Leather
http://www.ctbol.org/main.php

The RACKiT Club (Risk Aware Consensual Kink in Austin)
http://therackitclub.net/General/about.aspx

Forbidden Fruit offers a variety of workshops, some BDSM related
http://www.forbiddenfruit.com/workshops.htm

< Message edited by Drifa -- 11/13/2009 7:54:11 AM >

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 15

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 7:55:50 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject

The numbers make it a waste of time. I won't compete. Thanks for the answers. It was a stupid question.

This is a cop-out. You make the choice to give up because something is challenging?

*Defeatist...a person who too readily accepts or expects defeat. Attitude is everything.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 16

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 8:01:34 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject

The numbers make it a waste of time. I won't compete. Thanks for the answers. It was a stupid question.

Very wise move, thank you... you just saved yourself from ever having a decent dominant taking an interest in you. It must have been a fantasy. You caved before we could say hello... not yet... maybe... maybe soon or good bye. Since you are in control... have already decided how much worth you are and have taken a passive aggressive stand of... I can't therefore I WON'T... so there folks... you sealed your own fate. Thanks for making it easy for us... we didn't have to do anything to weed out the unworthy... it was done for us. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 17

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 8:21:43 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

If all you were looking for was a passtime, then yes, its a fantasy. Most dominants who are looking for someone are not looking to be a hobby or an amusement.

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 18

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 8:21:45 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: abjectobject

The numbers make it a waste of time. I won't compete. Thanks for the answers. It was a stupid question.

Wow...from Zero to Fail in two posts...that has to be some sort of record...

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to abjectobject)

Post #: 19

RE: Is this real or a waste of time? - 11/13/2009 8:33:54 AM

abjectobject

Posts: 4
Joined: 11/7/2009
Status: offline

Thanks for the info. I'll try meeting people in person. Online is, well, it's online.

I'm familiar with internet forums so I fully expect and understand people making idiotic assumptions and unloading their opinions anywhere they find an opening. It's entertaining when it's not boring.

The other reason for not being competitive is being cooperative. I'd rather help someone else get what they need, than have a contest with them to take what they need. If there are two people and only one thing, they can fight over it, share it, both go without or one can step back and be glad the other gets it. To people whose only approach is competition, the other three options are invisible. The simple fact of there being not enough of something to go around will make it pointless to want it. Someone else can have it, and they are welcome to it.

In person rather than online, there is probably no such competition and things happen between whichever two people are face to face. Online, you have countless profiles, emails, a lot of extraneous noise. In person, if you're talking, that's way ahead of emails. Like I said, it was a stupid question. I should have asked about venues where people meet in person. I learned something. Thanks for your help.

(in reply to Drifa)

Post #: 20

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