DiannaVesta
Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline
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Mr. Warren gave you some good advice. Mine will be different I some areas. I have been involved in the fetish and adult industry for over 15 years. I am sure I can help you. With your permission, which I hope you will give me, I would like to post this & use it to help others with the same questions.
“Right now I am trying to do some research into the legal aspects of professional domination.
I have a few questions and welcome any suggestions, answers or links to better information.
How much touching is legal, and how much does the legality vary from state to state? “
This is a gray area because the law states that any type of interaction that brings release where money is exchange can be constituted as prostitution. The boundaries are not really that clear and although state to state laws vary the reality is that if they want to arrest you they will find a reason.
A client comes to you for various reasons but the ultimate goal is for sexual release. You can hear all kinds of exceptions and excuses that it is not sexual but in reality that is what he is ultimately paying for. If you leave the room so that he can “finish himself off” then maybe you’re safe legally but if it comes down to it, it’s your word against his. Still most clients have it in their mind that sexually release is expected.
I did not provide sexual release but I did set the stage for him to release himself. Call it what you want. No matter what I was in fact in the sex industry and felt that I wanted to provide my client with the best experience possible. Maybe he chooses to take the memory of the session with him but at least 80% of the clients out there expect some type of release even if you never touch him. That’s a fact. There are those who use the bdsm experience as therapeutic release and require no release but these clients are far and few in-between.
The compromise is to establish the expectation ahead of time and set your own comfortable precedence. You are a professional no matter what and your success is based on your own ethics & standards that also meet the needs of your client.
Many professionals state that they offer NO SEX and NO release but I will tell you that 8 out of 10 do make the exception and allow some type of release within the session time frame. There is always that client who you have established some type relationship with where the rules bend.
As for laws there was a well know case in Florida where Mistress Carla (20 years ago) was raided and they wanted to arrest this lady. They did and it was because of a dildo that was “stained” in their words, where latex turns colors naturally. It proved to them that the dildo in her dungeon was used for sexual intercourse. The case was argued and the fact that it was in her dungeon she was arrested. There is more to this case but lengthy. The point is that they were out to shut her down.
So no matter the state or activity you always take the risk.
In the adult industry we must always keep in mind that the community can set a standard at any time. So even if it isn’t written on the books any member of the community could decide that your activity is inappropriate. Based on that they can take you to court. Even if you have a web site, adult business, etc. a single person can ban against you to attempt to prove that you are a danger to the community. Perhaps they won’t win but thousands of dollars later you might win. In cases of professional domination the chances are that you will lose more money then its worth fighting.
But do not let this discourage you, please read on.
“In respect to online websites that "sell" items of interest (I've run on to several that "sell" used panties and etc) does one need a business license to do sell items/services on the site? “
According to the IRS or most counties you can be a sole proprietor selling goods. No one can stop you from that especially if you have no employees. How is this different then anyone selling goods on EBay or the like? There isn’t. By law you can be a sole proprietor and conduct business as long as personally you claim the income and pay taxes. Corporations offer you a layer of protection. If you sell services or items where clients are not coming to your house then I see no need for a business license. Consult a lawyer on this but in 20 years the only time I had an occupational license is when I operated a phone sex room and an office.
“What are the best ways to go about offering phone domination? What sort of business offer these services? “
I feel that phone services are a needed part of this industry. Why? Well it safely gives a client a chance to explore fantasies without risk. Is it ideal? No it’s not but they can explore their imagination and for some that’s enough. Phone sex is a big business and there’s a reason why. Sex is part mental and it is fantasy. So phone fantasy gives the individual a chance to explore the mental aspects of desire. It is no different then picking up a magazine to masturbate only this gives an interaction that completes ones particular fantasy. It’s interactive, so to speak.
I think that phone domination, with the right person is extremely therapeutic. It helps a person imagine and realize their needs and I view it no different then a call made to explore what you can’t with a partner or significant other. I have couples that call me who simply want ideas or someone to talk to. I am blessed to have this as being a part of my business because I can’t even tell you how many people I’ve helped. Even the man who is married who doesn’t want to cheat has called me to explore his fantasies over the phone and try and figure out how to best tell his wife. I find this work to be the most rewarding and even though I don’t need that income, can make more some place else, I am touched by the couple who comes to me and is relived by my advice.
Your time is your time. You should be paid for your time like any other professional. If you love the scene then it make yourself an even better professional who is compassionate to understand the true dynamics of what that person is going through. Understand that a professional means that you are able to give good advice and you have enough experience to do so.
When I DID do professional sessions I found that it was better to make my client pay for a telephone consultation first. They paid 50 bucks. We would talk for 30 minutes about what they expected out of a scene. When they booked a session and showed up (no shows are a problem.. more on this below) I would deduct part from the session. This was the best business move I ever made. It made my sessions better and gave me a better sense of who I was dealing with. If in 30 minutes I found we were not compatible then all he has spent is 50 bucks and not 200 to experience a bad session. It made a huge difference in my session business. The ones that did show up we had an instant connection. Today with the over saturation if doms this might be difficult to command unless you are Dianna Vesta. Lol Seriously this may not be an option for a new dom today.
“Is it necessary to have outside hosting if I have a DSL connection and a computer to spare? Would the traffic be too much for the connection and do providers have issues with doing that? “
You never want any traffic coming into you personal PC. It is a security risk. Host your site some place else. Hosting is cheap. If you want a provider email me and I’ll send you someplace.
“Does one need a business license to perform professional domination sessions in person? “
No. I think I addressed this already.
“What are easy ways to recieve payment for services offered online? (I've seen Mistresses offer online lessons, and podcasts)”
Podcast is something you can think about later. Not now. When doing professional sessions take cash. When selling items try epassporte.com You can use this for phone sessions or anything else. At some point you may want to get your own merchant account. You are far from considering anything else.
“How does this relate to paying taxes and recieving income... what are the rules and regulations for reporting varying kinds of income in relation to federal taxes? Is this traditionally done "under the table"? “
I can’t give you good advice here. Income is taxable legally. Gifts are treated differently. Adjust your lifestyle how you feel is the best for you.
Being a professional is tough but don’t let views of others alter the way you think. Any business involves risk, especially adult. Keep abreast of laws that are always changing.
Set your intention and make that your meter. If you want to make this your career then do the research and decide emotionally what you are willing to spend. Decide that if you have something that is considered “Professional” then set your price based on what you have to offer. Someone is going to want what you offer so you need to decide where that market is.
I am a believer in karma and doing the right thing. If what you do feels right and you can benefit the niche you are after then its good business. If you rape the community you try to aid then it will bite you in the ass. Everyone has an opinion about this, Many people believe that we should give freely for the sake of the relationship and the community & although I am always torn with this, I know that my time is limited and I can not serve the world yet pay my bills.
But in any aspect of life and business here is my advice…
Do what you truly love. Never think you know it all and never pretend to. Do what is right and fair and consider everything yet never make a sacrifice that cost too much. Always be true to yourself first because you are the catalyst that ultimately makes it happens. If your soul is not fulfilled you will never fill another.
My love and wishes to you dear lady.
< Message edited by DiannaVesta -- 3/11/2006 2:14:58 PM >
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