where to start?? (Full Version)

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kweenie -> where to start?? (3/11/2006 3:28:04 AM)

Hi all, new to this board and actually new to finally decide I want "to go for it".
I have submissive feelings but do not know where to start..I have been looking at websites and reading books and such for a long time (too long I think..). Any advise or people that want to talk me. I will be happy if you want to help me..thank you



JohnWarren -> RE: where to start?? (3/11/2006 6:12:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kweenie

Hi all, new to this board and actually new to finally decide I want "to go for it".
I have submissive feelings but do not know where to start..I have been looking at websites and reading books and such for a long time (too long I think..). Any advise or people that want to talk me. I will be happy if you want to help me..thank you


What kind of advice do you need?

One thing I'd recommend is to get out into the face to face world. A good source for groups is www.darkheart.com/usalist.html

Opps you are outside the US.

Back to the original question.



PenelopePitstop -> RE: where to start?? (3/11/2006 8:34:25 AM)

i think being here is a good start, because these forums will simulataneously educate you and allow you to express some of your own feelings, and then perhaps, like me, one day you will be ready to step out and take things a bit further. There is no rush.

I really think all newbies should start with forum discussions because it's a more thoughtful pace and the whole chatroom profile thing can be a bit intense.

When you say how to 'start' - what do you envisage yourself doing? Do you know what your specific needs might be just yet?



Heinz -> RE: where to start?? (3/11/2006 9:14:20 AM)

Hello and a warm welcome kweenie,

And welcome, You have a very nice name:) I am Dutch so I understand it. :)))
If you want you van contact me for information in your wn lanquage.





mystiquenz -> RE: where to start?? (3/11/2006 2:02:26 PM)

greets,

i am not convinced that online sites are a good place to start, apart from gathering background material.

I would encourage you to get along to your local groups ... there will be a number where you are. D/s or M/s is so dependent upon the relationship that you are engaged in, that, unless you are wanting only an online *experience*, then *offline* is going to give you access to people who experience, who are willing to mentor, who are willing to share, who are willing to help. But, you will find many varied opinions, outside of your local community, on line, gathers input from many countries.

I wish you well, as you embark upon your journey of self discovery, and hopefully it will not be too long, before a Dominant, who is kind and caring, will guide you on a beautiful journey, slowly and carefully, allowing you to experience your needs at your pace.

Take care, and blessings ... welcome to a new discovery.

~mystique~ [sm=flowers.gif]



MasterBuckeye -> RE: where to start?? (3/11/2006 2:40:45 PM)

Well you have made a good start already. My suggestion to you is to be clear about what you want, what your experience is, what your attitude is towards real time learning, the type of servatude you are willing to provide, ie: 24/7, part time, puppy, sex slave, domestic sex slave, etc. those are good beginnings for true Masters that are looking, also your stats, willingness to relocate. Those are important to most Masters. I wish you luck on your journey.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: where to start?? (3/11/2006 3:36:55 PM)

Links to 25 Discussions on Advice for Novices



DaddysGyrrl -> RE: where to start?? (3/12/2006 3:32:55 PM)

I have been in a Dom/Sub relationship with my Daddy now for a year and just still learning alot...i just joined this site and hope i also find others like me to chat with...



MarinaBlack -> RE: where to start?? (3/12/2006 4:31:41 PM)

Hello kweenie and welcome to the rest of your life.:)

Chances are very good you have spent years fantasizing about different scenarios in your mind. Chances are also very good that once you experiment with most of them, you will discover that many of those scenarios are not for you. This is what happened with my husband who was a novice when he and I met last year. We quickly discoveredd that he is into bondage big time, but is definitely NOT a painslut.:)

Realistically, you need to meet people in real life. The internet is a great information resource, but that will only take you so far.

Attend munches and events and just meet people to start. I know that a number of the munches here where I live (in Toronto, Canada) have greeters/guides (you email the group informing them that you plan on attending, but are alone) who will be expecting you on your first visit. They will greet you and introduce you to key people so you are not alone and isolated. Then it is up to you to build and maintain connections with friends in the lifestyle who can help you in your exploration through exposure.

I will also say that is very important for you to define and defend your boundaries. I know for a fact that many (if not most) young, female subs find themselves prey to abusive dominants who will take advantage of their lack of experience. Protect yourself. A good way to do this is to build friendships with sane and grounded people in this scene. You will then find yourself with a support network of people who will not misjudge you for your kinks and may even introduce you to your dominant.

Feel free to contact me via my profile if you have any other questions based on this post.

Explore, but protect yourself.



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